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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Need some advice..

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:07 AM
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So I just found out my daughter is pregnant.  Her OB suggested cervical stitching or at least talking to a high risk ob about it.  My daughter is in no way mature enough to have a baby but it is her choice. Over a year ago I found out she was pregnant at the time she found out she was already in her second trimester two weeks after we found out she ended up miscarrying.  This why the doctor recommended cervical stitching.  I don't want her to have to go through this again we already had to cremate one child. I know she is afraid of this procedure and every time I try to talk to her she shuts me down and claims that it won't happen this time.  I feel in my gut that if she doesn't get this procedure she will lose this child. I told her this and she got all pissed off and slammed my door and knocked over things on the way to her room and then slammed her door and locked it. Any advice on how I can talk to her would be greatly appreciated!

by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Manth
by Manth on Mar. 22, 2014 at 2:09 AM
1 mom liked this

It's a scary procedure - but as you say, much better than miscarrying too early for the baby to survive.  Many women have this procedure done and it DOES work where the cervix is not strong enough to hold in a baby.

In the end, though - it's her life and her decision.  If she's too immature to deal with the potential of a small amount of pain to save her baby then she's probably too immature to deal with the process of ACTUALLY having the baby full-term, or with bringing one up.

elm498
by Gold sister on Mar. 22, 2014 at 2:42 AM

She took the words right out of my mouth.  

If you think she's mature enough, then allow the doctor to talk to her and tell her all the risks of not having it done.  You shouldn't make yourself the bad guy.

Quoting Manth:

It's a scary procedure - but as you say, much better than miscarrying too early for the baby to survive.  Many women have this procedure done and it DOES work where the cervix is not strong enough to hold in a baby.

In the end, though - it's her life and her decision.  If she's too immature to deal with the potential of a small amount of pain to save her baby then she's probably too immature to deal with the process of ACTUALLY having the baby full-term, or with bringing one up.


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by Dreamypoo on Mar. 22, 2014 at 5:25 AM

I agree with the ladies mama

Maida265
by Spanking the Monkey on Mar. 22, 2014 at 6:25 AM
1 mom liked this

 Ditti on the advice above. This should not be your decision or your responsibility. Her physicians should be the ones to discuss this to set her mind at ease.

wildchild.com
by Rapunzel on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:09 AM
Yep I agree...

Quoting Manth:

It's a scary procedure - but as you say, much better than miscarrying too early for the baby to survive.  Many women have this procedure done and it DOES work where the cervix is not strong enough to hold in a baby.

In the end, though - it's her life and her decision.  If she's too immature to deal with the potential of a small amount of pain to save her baby then she's probably too immature to deal with the process of ACTUALLY having the baby full-term, or with bringing one up.

coolmommy2x
by Silver sister on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:18 AM
I agree with the other moms.
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brooklynchic151
by Staten Island Psycho on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:26 AM

i have to agree.. we never really want to hear our mothers advice.. how old is she btw???? 

wenuck
by Moonshine on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:09 AM

Wow I am so Sorry But I totally Agree with MANTH!! I have never heard of this procedure Sorry and HUGS!!!

ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:14 AM

I agree with the others. It has to be her decision. I understand your concern, but you can't make her have it done.

Good luck to you all.

dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:14 AM

 I agree with the ladies as well.. How old is she?

I am sorry for her 1st loss and will pray for her.

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