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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Is there really another " side"?

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:40 AM
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If you're ex is in jail for beating the holy hell out of a woman ( while drunk) and she had four broken bones.

Why does he write me saying I should hear " my side of the story"?

IS there another side? Even if she slapped him.... Does that justify the facts that he punched her, kicked with steel toed boots, and pulled his curio cabinet on top of her? Does that sound remotely like " tit for tat"?

I didn 't fall for the manipulation of writing him back. Although I was angry enough to) My teen son finds it inexcusable ( we saw her injuries btw.... )

He's pulling the I 'm in AA now ( yeah ya are, not the right kind of bars for drinkin) " things are going to get much better now. I will go to meetings once or twice a day. " Great! More power to you, but your son is still disgusted and scared of you.


I'm getting off track, but the back story of his alcoholism goes back years. I actually quit the occassional drink because my son was so..,, disapproving and I felt it was in his best interest to not see me drink ever. It was pretty easy to quit actually... Of course I was never dependent on it.

I've always said from drinking age " I don't do anything drunk, I wouldn't do sober, I just do it quicker" I believe that. If you want to cheat, bit o liquid courage will make it happen. It's the same with violence, IMO

SO, is there REALLY, in your opinion , a "my side of the story " of a woman beater? Is there a magic reason that make it okay to slam a piece of furniture on top of her? Even if there was a spat? I mean they were not EVEN DATING! Just roommates.

What 's a good reason to go all" Hulk " on a female?


Son made my husband ( whom he now calls daddy full time since this,) change the locks before bio dad gets out. He's a wreck over this whole thing, obviously.

Is there REALLY another side?
by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Manth
by Manth on Mar. 22, 2014 at 2:05 AM

There is NO justifiable reason EVER for beating someone to the point where they have broken bones.  Fighting back MAYBE if they are hitting you hard enough to cause damage and you have no option to get away and call the police but a simple slap does NOT justify beating the other person to the point of broken bones.  

I'm glad you've changed the locks.  I think you're right not to write back.  Just keep away from him and his rubbish as much as you can.  Hopefully his victim will do the same and keep herself safe after this.

JTE11
by Bronze sister on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:08 AM
1 mom liked this

There is no good reason, but there is definitely another 'side' of the story. I don't know him but if he's anything like my friend's ex DH it would be a laundry list of excuses and possibly even twisted around to make him the victim. I could very well be wrong but someone who would be that violent toward someone is not thinking correctly to begin with and so I would have to assume his version of things would also be skewed. He isn't suddenly going to be a level headed, right-thinking person just because he's seen a little of jail and AA. Keep away from him, don't get sucked into writing back, and it's good the locks were changed.

Maida265
by Spanking the Monkey on Mar. 22, 2014 at 6:28 AM

 IMO...no other side of the story. The mature thing to do...is WALK away.

wildchild.com
by Rapunzel on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:06 AM
Wow that's horrible & no there are no excuses.
brooklynchic151
by Staten Island Psycho on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:33 AM

there is no other side... stay away...

dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:43 AM

 There is always two sides to every story BUT there is no justifiable reason for him to hurt you and scare your child. I am glad you changed the locks and I dont know about your state but here if you are the victim before they get out the victim will get notified (if they still have a number) and they will ask if you are still fearful. What I would do is ask for a protective order and ask for him to stay away.

I am glad you didnt write back as truth be known his side didnt matter the second he started going "all Hulk" on you (your words) and injurying you and scaring your child. Hugs

Keep us posted..

AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:52 AM

I think his side of the story is/was best told in court and he's got a lawyer and a judge to hear it. He's making excuses and not owning up to his side of things. You and your ds understand he's still manipulating and you're very smart to stay away.

Thelmama
by Sister on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:53 AM

Self defense is one thing but down right beating a woman to that extent goes beyond self defense even if she "slapped" him. Self defense stops the perpetrator and gets you away from the person. In this situation, I don't think the "other side of the story" warrants that kind of beat down.

wenuck
by Moonshine on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:16 AM

Wow Thats horrible there is no excuse at all and even if she did slap him what about self defense!! You think if I was getting beat I wouldnt be swinging back Hell yeah!!!

maryjean427
by Sister on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:21 AM
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Like the Judge will consider the other side of the story.
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