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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Is she being difficult?

Posted by on May. 1, 2014 at 12:36 AM
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I think my mom didn't really want to come stay with me. Today at 330 is when I found out she was coming.I wasn't home. I came home to change and wait for my sister and I didn't have a chance to fix the place. I haven't put things away from the boxes and my 3 year old found his toys and spread them all over the place. This is a one bedroom and the beds are in storage, I have the mattresses on the floor. I didn't want to rent a truck again to bring the things and I couldn't while in classes. I had my finals Monday and I'm done but instead of fixing, like I guess I should have, I was tired sleeping or I went to the beach. I wanted to relax a bit.

Meanwhile I have boxes in the bedroom, one mattress is against the wall and the other one my dd had been using it. My sister came and we went to meet my mom and son at this restaurant and we didn't come home until 11. My mom doesn't want to sleep in my dds bed. Instead she took a chair and she if sleeping there. She was complaining that we are something she said, and that I have things in the living room. I said yes, my sons toys, he plays with them. I also have done art work on the floor and on chairs. I need to fix the closet before figuring out where to put this paintings. I don't like them to hang them. So I rather they go in the closet.

So, do you think it's normal to complain so much about a few boxes and toys and don't sleep on the bed bc it's on the floor? Or is it really that bad to have my place messy bc I haven't felt kind cleaning it? She's only here until Saturday but I'm sure she'll leave tomorrow.
I said to her, I thought you say you are rugged and don't mind bad conditions? This isn't as bad as I've seen in other places or situations. I was homeless a few years ago and having a place is better than none. So a few boxes or toys don't bother me. My dd was crying bc my mom told her when she marries, if she doesn't keep up the place as she should. Hey husband will leave her. I came in and dd is crying, I said what happened? She told me and I said, well if he is a good husband he'll help instead of expecting you to do it all. At least is what I think a relationship should be. You are a team not a business with a boss and employees. I said if not, the guy isn't worth it. My mom shut up after that and fix that snack chair and she is supposed to be sleeping. I don't even want to know. I'm sure she is very upset. She was saying her house is perfectly clean. She has a maid who cleans for her daily. I'm not even home on a daily basis. I work retail and my schedule changes a lot. The last thing I want is cook and clean. I want to relax and sleep. Ugh!!!
Venting over 😭😭😭
by on May. 1, 2014 at 12:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on May. 1, 2014 at 12:47 AM
1 mom liked this

 She is being diffficult, and I am sorry for that. If it were me, I would put a bed together for her. At least that way, she can be more comfortable. Good luck with her. Moms can be so hard sometimes!

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on May. 1, 2014 at 12:50 AM
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 HUGS

Momofmenagerie
by on May. 1, 2014 at 1:53 AM
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I don't hustle and bustle to clean for family. They are FAMILY.

Of course your home isn 't spic and span, you have a young child and you work and spend time with your child. You do not have an empty nest nor a housekeeper.


You are providing shelter on your own now( a great feat)
She is being difficult. When my mom comes she says " I am not being critical, but what is the best way I CAN HELP YOU while I 'm here? Take the boys out? Mop the kitchen? Fold clothes?"
That 's building up, your mom seems the type to tear down and I 'm sorry about that .

She can still be a role model, though ..., how not to behave with your own adult children.

I'm sorry. I really am.
akitchen173
by on May. 1, 2014 at 3:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs Thanks for venting

cjs702006
by Buddah on May. 1, 2014 at 3:54 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like she is being difficult. She is only going to be there a short while? I'd try to make the best of it.....good luck.

Maida265
by Spanking the Monkey on May. 1, 2014 at 5:47 AM
1 mom liked this

I can see your point, but being who I am I probably would have ran around like mad woman to get it together for my mother (if I even LIKED her...which I don't so its a mute point...lol.) She should NEVER had said anything to your daughter (that part would have ticked me off to no end) and if she were really bothered by the conditions, she could have offered to help ya out a bit. Hey..if she would rather sleep in a chair rather than a mattress on the floor...then that is her preference.

Moms_Angels1960
by Husker Babe on May. 1, 2014 at 5:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I think your mom is being difficult she is there to visit you and your child not to destroy and criticize your house cleaning abilities. She should be grateful you have a home now.

Hugs

wildchild.com
by Rapunzel on May. 1, 2014 at 6:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Hugs, everyone is different. I would've offered to help put your new place together. If you said no thanks. I would've slept on the mattress on the floor. Sounds like she slept on the chair to prove a point. Her choice her back.
flika
by Bronze sister on May. 1, 2014 at 6:40 AM
She might help today with cleaning up while complaining it wasn't clean. You are lucky your mom is that way. I haven't seen mine in 2 years and I was happy to have her but I regretted the second we walked in. 💔

Quoting Momofmenagerie: I don't hustle and bustle to clean for family. They are FAMILY.

Of course your home isn 't spic and span, you have a young child and you work and spend time with your child. You do not have an empty nest nor a housekeeper.


You are providing shelter on your own now( a great feat)
She is being difficult. When my mom comes she says " I am not being critical, but what is the best way I CAN HELP YOU while I 'm here? Take the boys out? Mop the kitchen? Fold clothes?"
That 's building up, your mom seems the type to tear down and I 'm sorry about that .

She can still be a role model, though ..., how not to behave with your own adult children.

I'm sorry. I really am.
flika
by Bronze sister on May. 1, 2014 at 6:42 AM
1 mom liked this
That's for sure, to proof a point!! And I'm sure today she'll complain all day about her back hurting. And then she'll complain to my siblings, son and whoever has ears. Ugh 💔

Quoting wildchild.com: Hugs, everyone is different. I would've offered to help put your new place together. If you said no thanks. I would've slept on the mattress on the floor. Sounds like she slept on the chair to prove a point. Her choice her back.
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