Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I being a *B*?...Long Story

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:34 AM
  • 15 Replies
  • 355 Total Views

My friend is seeing DH's best friend.  I am nice to him even though he says the most gawd awful things (those pants are very unflattering, don't cut your hair you'll look like a dyke, women should be seen and not heard). Yah, he's one of those!  I have known him for decades and he hasn't grown up past the age of 17.

Anyway, she invited all of us (4 adults, 3 children) to stay at her sisters beach condo (about the size of a matchbox) this weekend.  I said OK (reluctantly).  I was thrilled when I heard the weather was going to be rainy and cold.  I thought the plans would be cancelled.  Of course now it is going to be sunny and a bit warmer.  We are supposed to stay overnight.  I really don't want too but these are the plans.

Here are my plans.  I'm a terrible sleeper and she knows this.  On Friday I'm going to tell her that I haven't slept well all week and we're just going to go up there for the day and leave around 4pm.  Of course she is going to be wicked pissed but I'm at the point where I don't care.  We have spent every weekend with them since he got out of jail, yup, you read correctly, jail....and I'm getting tired of it.

Yes, I could suck it and stay overnight up but I know he is going to get drunk and start with his mouth and I'd rather not be around for that.  Plus, I only have a 3 weeks until my surgery and I want to spend as much time getting my house and pool in order before I am bedridden for a few weeks. 

Am I being bitchy? 

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:34 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Spirit.heart
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:59 AM

You're not being bitchy, you're just not being honest. There is no way I would take my kids to spend the weekend around that guy. I wouldn't want them around him at all. You don't have to give any excuses - just say "I'm sorry, there's no way we're going to be able to make it." "It's just not a good time."

This guy is your husband's best friend? How does he tolerate that around his family? 

navyjen
by Bronze sister on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this

I would be honest with my friend.   Doesnt sound like the kind of man I would want my children around.......

MethuenMom
by Bronze sister on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:52 AM

They've been best friends since they were 3 years old.  My DH is at the point where he say things like 'Dude, you should watch what comes out of your mouth'.

I'm hoping the more he is around 'normal' people like us the more normal he will become.  He was messed up for a long time and he wasn't around our family for years.  I have no problem cutting ties with him again.  I don't care if he's seeing my friend or not.

Quoting Spirit.heart:

You're not being bitchy, you're just not being honest. There is no way I would take my kids to spend the weekend around that guy. I wouldn't want them around him at all. You don't have to give any excuses - just say "I'm sorry, there's no way we're going to be able to make it." "It's just not a good time."

This guy is your husband's best friend? How does he tolerate that around his family? 

 

Buggy979
by Bronze sister on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:56 AM
2 moms liked this
Honesty is the best pill to swallow. Tell her you and the family will come up for the day but we will be going home to sleep in our own beds.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lori942
by UMM....... Lori :) on Jun. 2, 2014 at 12:02 PM

 No I don't think you are being bitchy.  At least you are still making the effort to go for the day.  What does your DH want to do?

MethuenMom
by Bronze sister on Jun. 2, 2014 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 DH is fine going up for the day.  I think he is quite relieved that we're not going to spend the night.  :)

Quoting Lori942:

 No I don't think you are being bitchy.  At least you are still making the effort to go for the day.  What does your DH want to do?

 

Lori942
by UMM....... Lori :) on Jun. 2, 2014 at 12:16 PM

 Good...glad you are both on the same page with the decision!  I would do the same as you in this situation!!

Quoting MethuenMom:

 DH is fine going up for the day.  I think he is quite relieved that we're not going to spend the night.  :)

Quoting Lori942:

 No I don't think you are being bitchy.  At least you are still making the effort to go for the day.  What does your DH want to do?

 

 

wenuck
by Wendy - Moonshine on Jun. 2, 2014 at 1:08 PM
I don't think you are being bitchy. I would tell her what you had told us you have 3 weeks till surgery and you all have a lot to do. And you will spend the day with them.
lucky2Beeme
by Gold sister on Jun. 2, 2014 at 1:34 PM

I wish you could just be honest with your friend instead of amking excuses. Tell her you want to be home to get your ducks in a row before your surgery.

NDADanceMom
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with the others. "I love you but I don't want to be around someone who says the things he does. I will come up till 4 and that's about all I can take of him."
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)