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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

What Do Yo Think: Study Shows Unwed Parents Should Marry Before Child Turns 3

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2014 at 2:54 PM
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http://health.yahoo.net/news/s/hsn/unwed-parents-should-tie-the-knot-before-child-turns-3-study

Here's my take: (No offense intended toward those who believe otherwise.) The willingness to marry the person you want to have a family with involves trust. Children need both a dad and a mom in their lives. And it's important for them to see what commitment to another person looks like.

I hate the line parents give their kids when they split up - "Honey, Mommy and Daddy still love you very much. And that will never change."

I think children need to see the love between their parents before they can truly believe that.



by on Jul. 5, 2014 at 2:54 PM
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wildchild.com
by Rapunzel on Jul. 5, 2014 at 4:21 PM
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I think it depends on the situation. If both parents are loving towards each other & want to commit to each other, then absolutely get married. But I don't think 2 people should get married because they had a baby together. Yes in ideal world it would be great if every child had both biological parents raise them. But sadly that's not always the case & that child is actually better off being without one of the parents.
SeanandNoahsmom
by Manning Fan on Jul. 5, 2014 at 5:01 PM
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 Agreed!

Quoting wildchild.com: I think it depends on the situation. If both parents are loving towards each other & want to commit to each other, then absolutely get married. But I don't think 2 people should get married because they had a baby together. Yes in ideal world it would be great if every child had both biological parents raise them. But sadly that's not always the case & that child is actually better off being without one of the parents.

 

Dawn
tristansmom74
by Bronze sister on Jul. 5, 2014 at 7:13 PM
5 moms liked this
I TOTALLY used to think this way. And i still think its important for children to have two parents. However... Like in my case... He refused to marry me.. Then finally does when our child is 8. NOW i realize the mistake. He was a much better part time dad.
Every family picture is different. I loved the idea of being a family. But this isn't family. I'm just a single mom with a ring on her finger. All the responsibility lies in my shoulders.
Its sad. People...please don't make single mothers feel guilty or like they aren't doing right by a child because they aren't married. Sometimes its better that way.
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wenuck
by Moonshine on Jul. 5, 2014 at 7:23 PM
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*2 thumbs up*

Quoting wildchild.com: I think it depends on the situation. If both parents are loving towards each other & want to commit to each other, then absolutely get married. But I don't think 2 people should get married because they had a baby together. Yes in ideal world it would be great if every child had both biological parents raise them. But sadly that's not always the case & that child is actually better off being without one of the parents.
Mznaye
by French Quarter Queen on Jul. 5, 2014 at 11:09 PM
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Ian is much better off having only me to live and care for him

Quoting wildchild.com: I think it depends on the situation. If both parents are loving towards each other & want to commit to each other, then absolutely get married. But I don't think 2 people should get married because they had a baby together. Yes in ideal world it would be great if every child had both biological parents raise them. But sadly that's not always the case & that child is actually better off being without one of the parents.
opinionatedmom
by Gold sister on Jul. 6, 2014 at 12:15 AM
3 moms liked this
Shit I'm almost 4 years late. He has a happy home with both parents in it. But I am choosing not to marry yet for a reason. I think this is politically correct bogus crap. Why do the parents have to be married to be good parents. Why can 2 parents live together and love their kid. It's just a piece of paper. I have been with his dad almost as long as I was married to my ex. At least this time I'm happy, and with no stupid piece of paper.
gracef282
by Kiwi Maid on Jul. 6, 2014 at 12:44 AM
1 mom liked this
Having a child is no reason to get married. Most end in divorce .
maureen813
by New sister on Jul. 6, 2014 at 12:58 AM
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I am a clinical therapist working with children and families. Children do best on a number of measures when they have an intact family with two mature, responsible, loving, committed, involved parents who love them and one another. That being said, children and resilient and adaptable and as long as they have at least one consistent, nurturing secure attachment to a caretaker and feel safe, protected and cared for they still can do just fine. I was born in the 1960's in a time and place where the divorce rate was very low ( about ten percent) compared to a whopping forty eight percent now. I am sad to know that so many people today have become so cynical and disillusioned with an institution that still remains a cornerstone of our society.
RoseWall
by RoseWall on Jul. 6, 2014 at 1:17 AM
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I find this interesting
Maida265
by Spanking the Monkey on Jul. 6, 2014 at 6:23 AM

 I personally think that committment can happen without the formality of a wedding or ring. Most kids will question when they are old enough the name difference but I don't know if marriage is ever necessary. The act of marriage was never intended as just a method to express your love or committment, it was a legal stance to secure financial security for your children in the event that your partner passed prematurely.

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