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Funerals

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 7:30 AM
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 The recent passing of my cousin got me thinking...what and who are they for? Are they really to show respect for the deceased and provide them with a departure to go on to the next part of their journey? Or are they a way for family to stake claim on something whether it be the actual remains/place of burial/ or personal possessions? Maybe it's just a way to gather family together who would otherwise not see each other so that too much time doesn't pass without contact? Weddings and funerals (funerals more than weddings) is the only time family gets together in my family and most often it's to fight about something. It's SO sad. I've tried for many years to have family gatherings because I know how precious life is...but it seems everyone is just too busy.

 

 

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 7:30 AM
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brooklynchic151
by Suzi Q on Jul. 23, 2014 at 7:33 AM

ahhhh very good question vic.. unfortunitly in my family , as i got older the family spread apart in all different directions and only time everyone really sees each other are at these events... 

whether its because some moved away, or who isent speaking to who...  its sad actually.... it is what it is....

wenuck
by Wendy - Moonshine on Jul. 23, 2014 at 7:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes I think funerals are to get friends and family together to pay for their respect for whom has passed. Ive been to lots of funerals and it made me decide I dont want any when I pass. Its so hard you deal with it when someone passes then you seem to get alittle better then you deal with the viewing and all of the sad comes back again then to do the funeral its just an emotional rollercoaster! I told Hubby and my older kids I do not want them to go through it! Its bad enough they have to deal with me passing just get it all done and as a family go to dinner or have a small gathering and talk about all the good memories!!

HUGS VICKEY!!!

LadyAmaranth
by Hillarie on Jul. 23, 2014 at 7:39 AM

I think more often than not it's to remember and reconnect.

There are those families where it's about getting material things. My late hubby had that issue when his mom died, they all came to take what they could grab. 

wenuck
by Wendy - Moonshine on Jul. 23, 2014 at 7:41 AM

To add to all the drama that goes on with some of the funerals Ive been to some that was calm and I been to some that people I cant believe how they act REALLY grow up and show some respect!!

Mariagma3
by Maria - Midwest Lady on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:08 AM

 I think that funerals are to say goodbye and to honor the deceased's life. I only hope that my parents won't be a difficult time. I hate to think that some people can make a scene or act crazy, toxic-like.

Blue231
by Sister on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:16 AM
The funerals I have been to have mostly been about remembering and respecting the person who has passed away. We listen to songs and Bible verses that person enjoyed, tell stories about the person, talk about our love for that person; etc.

They have also been about bringing family together so they can find closure and comfort one another. Most of my family members are good about comforting each other.

The funerals in my family are also a time to thank God for the person's life and to pray for their life in Heaven. Usually we have a pastor that says a small sermon. That brings us a lot of comfort, and helps us to remember things that God has to say about life and death in the Bible.

I did see arguments after one family members passing, but it was before the funeral rather than during the funeral. I think it is so sad when people focus on a person's possessions instead of the person. Fortunately that rarely happens in my family.

I don't really understand the purpose of an open coffin, but I have heard some people feel the need to see the person's body one last time. I personally think I would feel fine without that part of the funeral, but think I would want it available for those who feel they need it.

I would find a funeral in which people just argue to be very sad and not comforting at all. I think if my family did funerals that way, then I would not want to attend.
Tracys2
by Bronze sister on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:21 AM

My family doesn't do funerals, probably mostly because none of us are close with any others, and they cost money. :-/

Lately I've been to a few- one for a teen who died, 3 for my husband's family, a last for a lady at church

FIL's funeral was awful. Basically a family reunion with juice boxes for the kids. But not dramatic, just... empty. Like how you express it. The speeches were by people who didn't know him, funeral home was something he would have hated, and so was the food. A pot luck in the back 40 with some funny stories would have been so much more meaningful for him!

The others have been great because they have been about family and friends of the deceased sharing their lives (for me, the dead are dead and you can say nice things about them, but the funeral is to help those left behind). One guy was very Christian, so his was about how happy he was to have made it to the end so well, and how he wanted the same assurance to family (if you're not Christian, you might not like that, but it fit him IYSWIM). The one where the teen died, a lot of it was trying to comfort his family. A lot of this was really nice.

I'm pretty sure there was drama even at some of these, but mostly it was good. The drama happens around any death, but having some time where family can comfort each other and share stories has got to be a good thing! That sort of drama is actually positive- hugs and crying together and laughing and sharing the emotional time is one of the main benefits of family or any community, IMO. But if not done well, yes, it can be empty and just a form to follow and give money to funeral directors.

ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:33 AM

I think funerals are to pay respect to the family. Some families can't have any form of get together without drama and that is sad.

BL2010
by BL on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:41 AM

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Funerals are a way to show respect to the family of the deceased and to honor the deceased person.

I know what you mean about being the only time you see family. That's the same with I think most families. Everyone gets busy and has their own thing going on that we forget what's really important.

fern624
by Fern on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:15 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting wenuck:

Yes I think funerals are to get friends and family together to pay for their respect for whom has passed. Ive been to lots of funerals and it made me decide I dont want any when I pass. Its so hard you deal with it when someone passes then you seem to get alittle better then you deal with the viewing and all of the sad comes back again then to do the funeral its just an emotional rollercoaster! I told Hubby and my older kids I do not want them to go through it! Its bad enough they have to deal with me passing just get it all done and as a family go to dinner or have a small gathering and talk about all the good memories!!

HUGS VICKEY!!!

 hugs fern

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