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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Got tired of being called "doll"

Posted by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 4:16 PM
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Customers had complained to the management about this girl even before I did.

But this time, I said something to her myself.

Every week I shop at a busy health food store. Among the employees is a 20-something young woman who in the past has thought nothing of addressing female (and maybe even male) customers with her sing-songy, "Hey doll, you finding everything you need?" Or, "Hey, girlfriend," to women who are old enough to be her grandmother. 

She's kind of animated and too familiar for my taste.

She works in various capacities, as do all the stores employees. So I never know when or where she'll pop up.

After she'd done it a few times to me, I mentioned to one of the managers that I thought it was inappropriate.

The manager agreed, and said she'd talk to the girl. And for a while, I could tell that the employee's demeanor had changed. She was more focused and respectful. She seemed to have her nose to the grindstone, and not so chummy.

Afew weeks ago she did it again. I didn't say anything about it. 

Then just few days ago, I was walking through the store and there she was. "Hey, doll!" 

I said, "Please don't call me doll." 

She responded that most of the customers like it. 

I told her that I thought it was unprofessional. 

She went to the back and that's the last I saw of her. 

I hope she gets the message. If a male employee were to do it, it would be completely unacceptable. Most businesses would not allow it from a male or female.

Anyway, I got tired of being "dolled." It grated me the wrong way.





by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 4:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Maida265
by Spanking the Monkey on Aug. 24, 2014 at 4:30 PM
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I think cutsie terms are fun for some but you would have to have built a rapport with customers to know whom it would be acceptable to use them on. I could see an older woman enjoying the attention of being called girlfriend OR thinking the young employee was being fresh. I personally don't get too offended by someone using playful names, but that is MY personality and I know not everyone shares this with me.

 

wildchild.com
by Rapunzel on Aug. 24, 2014 at 4:36 PM
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It wouldn't offended me, I think I'd probably chuckle & say back to her "thanks SWEETIE but I'm all set."
Fayanne
by Fay on Aug. 24, 2014 at 4:57 PM
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 I don't think I've every heard that one, but 'Hun gets to me. "Find everything you need, Hun?"

Sorry, that's reserved for only a few very special people in my life. You are not a 'special people' to me, nor am I to you.

I was under the impression this happens more in the south.... I'm WNY. Where are you?

Khanfan
by Apple Dapple on Aug. 24, 2014 at 4:57 PM
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I think that was a fine thing for you to do. Nothing beats someone telling you, you're wrong for disliking something. I do hope she can learn from the experience.

wenuck
by Moonshine on Aug. 24, 2014 at 5:06 PM
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I think it just depends on the person
For me it wouldnt bother me but I tell you one word that makes me cringe and thats, Mam. So I just think everybody has some word that eats away at them.
MentorMom1
by Gold sister on Aug. 24, 2014 at 5:15 PM
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I think this chick's repertoire includes "hon," too. LOL. She's a cute kid, but needs a slightly more professional attitude. 

Quoting Fayanne:

 I don't think I've every heard that one, but 'Hun gets to me. "Find everything you need, Hun?"

Sorry, that's reserved for only a few very special people in my life. You are not a 'special people' to me, nor am I to you.

I was under the impression this happens more in the south.... I'm WNY. Where are you?


Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on Aug. 24, 2014 at 5:18 PM
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 I could see how it would get old. Some places in AR, I got that alot. VERY chummy, but seemingly polite.

MentorMom1
by Gold sister on Aug. 24, 2014 at 5:19 PM
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I don't mind ma'm so much if I am being addressed by someone I don't know - especially a younger man or teenaged boy. ( love it when the open the door for you!  

But coming from women, for some reason, it sounds a bit stiff.  I will call women my age and older ma'm - for instance if I need to get their attention for some reason. Maybe they dropped something. In a store I generally call younger women "miss." 

Quoting wenuck: I think it just depends on the person For me it wouldnt bother me but I tell you one word that makes me cringe and thats, Mam. So I just think everybody has some word that eats away at them.


MentorMom1
by Gold sister on Aug. 24, 2014 at 5:21 PM
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I think that's the teacher/mom coming out in me. I think younger people need to be respectful of their elders. I don't like the elbow-bumping, "we're all girls" kind of attitude. After all, I am a paying customer. We're not at a bachelorette party LOL!!

Quoting wildchild.com: It wouldn't offended me, I think I'd probably chuckle & say back to her "thanks SWEETIE but I'm all set."


alexgia
by Silver sister on Aug. 24, 2014 at 5:24 PM
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i would never do that, but it really doesn't bother me.  it is probably a hard habit to break.  a young woman i worked with called all women miss.  i thought it was sort of cute because some think maam indicates you are "older".

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