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old friend in hospital

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:50 PM
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I had a bff from the time I was about 17 thru Our early 20's. We were roommates, best of friend.We got married, had kids the same month. We had a few falling outs over the years and Moved, didn't speak for up to a year or so a few Times. The last time we were speaKing she was gOing through a divorce, 8 years ago.
Since then I have "followed" her ex and boys occasionally through social media. On Dec 26 her son's,now 18 and in college, posted a photo on instagram of them with her in the hospital about to undergo brain surgery. This was the first time she ,as opposed to her ex husband, was mentioned online.
My aunt lives in the same town and found out today that she is in a rehab hospital, I have no idea what she had been through.
My mom thinks I should contact her or her kids, I am kind of nervous about doing that for a lot of reasons. Including the fact we haven't spoken in 8 years, it was a mutual split. She obviously has been through difficult times and I of course was never there for her. I just think not only wood it be weird and maybe uncomfortable for her, which she doesn't need I'm sure, but what if she expected me to see her, I Could not go, she is in another state and I work etc.
What do you think?
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GMMC
by Giselle on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh wow, what an interesting situation and speaks to today's social interaction.

It is a tough call to make, I understand your concerns you raised. BUT...8 years is a long time and I am sure the awkwardness has been long forgotten by now. So I would reach out...at this point you have nothing to lose really...she might really need you or just love hearing from you.

Go for it and best of luck!

ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:33 PM
1 mom liked this

I am not sure if you should go or not. I had lost contact with a dear childhood friend after I moved many years ago. I found her on FB and friended her. At the time she was battling breast cancer. I felt like it was special that after all these years I found her NOW, while she is going through something so horrible. We chatted back and forth for a while. Hubby decided he was going to take me to visit with her. I was so excited. She lives about 2 hours away and with our work schedule, this was a BIG deal. So I let her know that my hubby wants to bring me to see her. Well, she puts me off. I know she was going through a lot and was sick. So I let it go. We still chatted a little, not much. Then the chatting just kind of ended. I don't know why. But I was heartbroken. I truly feel taht we can't go back. We have to move forward in life and leave the past behind us.

I know this was a lot of rambling and no help whatsoever. lol. I guess I am saying, don't get your hopes up. She may not want to see you, so be prepared.

Hugz!

JodyLane555
by Sister on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:46 PM
Social media has really made things so strange. About not going back, every time I have been in touch with old friends it has ended, sometimes been weird. Each time I tell myself to stop looking up people from my past, even if it's just to snoop at what they have been doing. I tell myself reach time that you can't and probably shouldn't go back.
It's a little different since we were so close for a long time, closest friend I ever had. But to not have been in her life through whatever lead up to this makes me think outs not really my place, especially since she never tried to contract me through the past 8 years.
I am curious as to what is wrong, what she's been through. I feel sad for her and her son's. But my heart is telling me to leave her and her family alone and finally let it go.
You know with any people you haven't been in a friendship or relationship with on a long time it's really none of my business I guess.
I tried to think if were me how would I feel, but who could every know how someone who had been through something apparently life threatening would feel about anything right?
JodyLane555
by Sister on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:49 PM
Do you think it would be wrong to contact her ex, just say I heard about and wondered what happened?

I just remembered that prior to the last time we were in touch I had heard her grandparents passed away and contacted her now ex, he put me in touch with her that time.
wenuck
by Wendy - Moonshine on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Tough situation , I think I would let it go. I have trying to reconnect with a friend I've known since 15 and she stop talking to me for 4 years. We got together and it was not the same, we talked a little afterwards but lost all connections again. Hugs!!
wildchild.com
by Janine on Jan. 6, 2015 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow that's a tough one. I personally wouldn't try to reconnect because she is sick & Id feel like I was intruding into her life during a very private time.
Maleac
by New sister on Jan. 6, 2015 at 8:55 PM
I would think it that situation you should contact her . She probably would like to see you .
Love being able to earn an income from home -:)
www.facebook.com/maleacaldwell
Twitter : MaleaCaldwell
BL2010
by BL on Jan. 7, 2015 at 8:26 AM
2 moms liked this

I would not contact her ex about it. What I would do is send her a card with a personal message in it. Then it's up to her to make the next move.

brooklynchic151
by Suzi Q on Jan. 7, 2015 at 8:28 AM

 im with BL on this one      great idea..

Quoting BL2010:

I would not contact her ex about it. What I would do is send her a card with a personal message in it. Then it's up to her to make the next move.

 

BL2010
by BL on Jan. 7, 2015 at 8:31 AM

Of course... :)

Quoting brooklynchic151:

 im with BL on this one      great idea..

Quoting BL2010:

I would not contact her ex about it. What I would do is send her a card with a personal message in it. Then it's up to her to make the next move.

 


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