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Old Relations

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:42 PM
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Hello Ladies

I am so out of it these days very busy and did not get a chance to be with all of you over the last few weeks. How is everybody doiing in the 40ish and beyond group? I am doing well. As usual in Barbados we are having a wonderful day lots of sunshine.

So today I would like to get your opinion.

If you are in a relationship for 23 years with 1 child and everyday, every week and every month you are hoping, prayering and wishing for the proposal and nothing is happening but you can hear "what are you worried about, it is you I want to be with" what would you do how would you feel. At the same time a committment ring has been submitted and things are looking up from that stand point wouldn't you think that at some point a real proposal should be coming? Waiting to hear from you ladies.


by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Red Room Rebel on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:13 PM

Hmmmm. Tough one.... I have known a few couples that lived a domestic life but never married. But it was because they were both happy with the situation. If you are wanting more, it will eventually get to the point that the current situation is not enough. On the other hand, if matrimony is "forced" for a lack of a better word, will it be genuine? Communication is the key. Good luck...

by It's a jen.thing :) on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:19 PM

 honestly, I dont know how to answer because I would have been out of there MUCH ealier on.  At this point I can see him saying 'what is the point' she obviously doesnt really care about that piece of paper because she has been with me for 23 years so why bother.  If you never put your foot down in over 2 decades im not sure that he will take you seriously at this point.

by Kristy on Mar. 16, 2015 at 5:00 PM

Hi Phyllis. sorry I havent messaged you, but kinda down and busy. 

Well, his coming to the US with you? Are you coming here for him or is he coming here for you? That may make the difference. He is the father of your son? At the same time you dont want to push him away, if marriage is in your plans you need to tell him so. If you trust that the two of you will stay together and marriage is not in his cards, then you need to decide what kind of lifestyle you can be happy with.  I do know a few couple that are together for life but neither want marriage, or one is willing to still be with the other.

by Hillarie on Mar. 16, 2015 at 5:04 PM
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I'd have left a long time ago. Sorry I'm no help. After that long I don't see a proposal coming ever.
by Janine on Mar. 16, 2015 at 5:15 PM
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Hmmm that is a tough one. I feel for you because it sounds like you really want to get married. Personally I would express these feelings to him & let him know that this what you want & this what will make you happy.
by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 5:27 PM

This is a long time to be with someone, but if you are wanting marriage now, then tell him.  I will tell you that men don't change.  Decide how important this is to you and why you stayed with him this long if you weren't married.

by Wendy - Moonshine on Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:03 PM
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Sorry for this but I was hard on my hubby on getting married,then I left it go and a year later he popped the question Hugs!
by Maria - Midwest Lady on Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:19 PM

 Well, I do know a few people in my life that just don't believe in marriage. I cannot say I understand it. But, I don't. It sounds like you want the legal commitment part of marriage. Does your mate understand how important this is to you, and why? It also sounds like your man loves you and is committed to you, but maybe doesn't believe in the legal part? IDK! Good luck, and hugs!

PS-I want to add- If he still doesn't want to marry, and you stay together, you should definitely have an iron clad will made up detailing everything for you and your child, whether your mate enters ito that or not. You need to be protected because you need something legally binding.

by Gold sister on Mar. 16, 2015 at 7:24 PM

Not something I would ever do. I'm old school. Engagement, wedding kids in that order.

by Tina on Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:49 PM
I remember my oldest sister telling me,"some men don't think, when it comes to romance and love", she than said,'don't get me wrong, he loves you,but every now, and then,you have to give him a big PUSH'! So, I'm telling you, after 23 years, you have to be bold ,tell him how you feel, tell him, you want that piece of "paper",because it would mean so much to you,because you love him,and you will be honored to be his wife! Stay on him! You have a right to be married! Best wishes,good luck!
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