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Husband is so distant

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:31 AM
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We relocated for his job as empty nesters and have all grown kids. Since he has taken this position, he's had such an attitude change, very distant and I do not have a friend to talk to.
I'm hurting silantly
by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:31 AM
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AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:51 AM
Maybe you could take the approach that you aren't happy since the move. Let him know that you feel isolated and he is too distant for your comfort. See what he has to say and then decide from there what can be done so you will be happy. It really boils down to finding your happiness and not depending entirely on how he behaves.
Lb128f
by Linda on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:39 AM
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Hi and Welcome to the group! ;-) We are here....you aren't alone anymore and you have someone (LOTS of "someone's") to chat with here!!

I'm sorry this is happening. Could he be unhappy with the job or move? Maybe he feels like he made a mistake.

Have you asked him what's wrong and if so, what does he say? And...if you haven't asked, why not? 

RoseWall
by RoseWall on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:46 AM
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Hugs.
DanaG70
by Tinker Bell/DanaG on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:47 AM
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Talk to your husband and ask him what's up with him.
Welcome to the group by the way. =)
AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:51 AM
5 moms liked this
Maybe you could take the approach that you aren't happy since the move. Let him know that you feel isolated and he is too distant for your comfort. See what he has to say and then decide from there what can be done so you will be happy. It really boils down to finding your happiness and not depending entirely on how he behaves.
hau_siyoka
by Wanda - Indian Girl on Jan. 23, 2016 at 1:43 AM
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Welcome to 40ish and Beyond...I hope you make this one of your fav spots to chat .... We have many sisters here that can give you some great chat and advice...Just the move alone could make you feel out of place....being in a new area/work site may take him some getting use to...I'm sure he may have left friends behind as well... It could be time for the two of you to befriend each other at this time...a little extra loving and talking would help. Sharing your feelings would help him share his...whatever you do will involve talking and that's a step in the right direction....Feel free to keep us posted and if you need suggestions we are a wealth of help with that...again welcome to the group should you need anything or have any questions feel free to pm us anytime....

tsatske2
by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 1:48 AM
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Go to meetup.com. enter some of your interests and find some meetups, then go. Also, maybe look for volunteer work, as well. Talk to your adult children on the phone regularly, don't wait for them to call, call them. Think of taking up a new hobby. 

But also, talk to your husband. Maybe he is just also having trouble adjusting and not sharing that with you. Maybe there is something else going on. If you can't get to the bottom of it, consider counseling. If he won't go, consider if for yourself if you continue to feel this way. The way you feel is not dependant on him alone.

GMMC
by Giselle on Jan. 23, 2016 at 2:12 AM
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Hi there,

Welcome to the group. 

I don't really have any words of wisdom just here and listening to you.

Communication as they say is the key...I have been married for 22 years (?)...so I understand in my own way. We have been through many phases including this one.

Big Hugs...

Indylady100
by New sister on Jan. 23, 2016 at 4:58 AM
Thank you...
Indylady100
by New sister on Jan. 23, 2016 at 5:20 AM
I've tried it all. And so on the way to the movie, he got irritated with other drivers and our waitress. Just a bad attitude in general, gave him time and space and that was an issue alone.I know I have to move on, I'm just not financially in the best position to to it. And it hurts because I truly love him.
brooklynchic151
by Suzi Q on Jan. 23, 2016 at 7:09 AM
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I'm sorry sissy big hugs to you. I know it's hard. Especially if he doesn't communicate.
How is he with your children??? Is someone else involved?? All I can say is if he doesn't communicate and dosent want to do counseling then try to get your ducks in order and move on. You deserve to be happy.
Something is going on. ?
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