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Question

Posted by on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:02 PM
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Just a question

I have this friend who basically was annoyed with me because I didn't want to go shopping this morning. Decided to take a me day because I'm running on fumes.  I had an errand to run late this afternoon and she basically wanted me to drop it and pick up her boys from their school.  Told me that I wasnt being a good friend, that I'm not supportive, you name it she said it.

Now she's saying that she had a bad day but in that process made me feel guilty and like crap. To the point of tears.  Since when do friends do this? Since when am I NOT allowed to take care of me rather than everyone else??  What did I do wrong? 

I told her this.  Ok you had a bad day, no reason to take it out on me, make me feel guilty or like crap. Friends dont do that.

I get this is so high school nonsense but how do I end up with people like this in my life? Do I have stupid written across my face??

UGH....

by on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lovingladyo4
by Sister on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:09 PM
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No - you don't have stupid across your face - it might be something as simple as a personality difference and the way you blend together. I think you did the right thing by making decisions for your life. When people hold out expectations for us to jump up to, they actually set themselves up for disappointment. 

wenuck
by Wendy - Moonshine on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:23 PM
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I agree!!

Quoting lovingladyo4:

No - you don't have stupid across your face - it might be something as simple as a personality difference and the way you blend together. I think you did the right thing by making decisions for your life. When people hold out expectations for us to jump up to, they actually set themselves up for disappointment. 

anotherandree
by Bronze sister on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:26 PM
She should not have said those things. However, haven't you ever had a bad day and snapped at someone for no reason? I know I have, unfortunately. If this is an ongoing thing, then she's just a crappy friend, but if in general she's really great, then it sounds like you were both having an off day.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:26 PM
I hope you and your friend can work through this.
aakeiser
by Amy on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:29 PM
I hate to say it she is not a good friend. We all have one or two. She needs to see you needed today for yourself. I have a friend when she finds out dh and i do fun things with the kids she makes it sound like I should have took her son. I have enough with my own two kids. Her son and my son do not get along too well. He boyfriend her sons father does not do anything with them and when he does he is drunk. But i do get what you are saying...
Ppuff1971
by Bronze sister on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:53 PM

I have had my fair share of bad days as of late but I never took it out on her.  I've never made her feel guilty or like crap.  She's done this once before and I had to stop being her friend for close to 18 months.  I tend to put my bad moods on the back burner if I'm going out or talking with someone or at least give them fair warning if I'm in a mood. 

Quoting anotherandree: She should not have said those things. However, haven't you ever had a bad day and snapped at someone for no reason? I know I have, unfortunately. If this is an ongoing thing, then she's just a crappy friend, but if in general she's really great, then it sounds like you were both having an off day.


RaeMarie
by RaeMarie on Dec. 13, 2017 at 7:59 PM
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You are like I was. I was always willing to help, whatever it took. When someone was having a hard time I was the dummy always sayign "how can I help?" I didn't know how to say no. People came to expect it of me and I started losing more and more of my time. Being giving and helping is a good hting but unfortunately it gets taken advantage of. I had a total meltdown and let everyone have it a few years back. Now people are much nicer and considerate of my time. People like us have to make time for ourselves or we won't have anything of ourselves left to give others.

Ppuff1971
by Bronze sister on Dec. 13, 2017 at 8:02 PM

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Quoting RaeMarie:

You are like I was. I was always willing to help, whatever it took. When someone was having a hard time I was the dummy always sayign "how can I help?" I didn't know how to say no. People came to expect it of me and I started losing more and more of my time. Being giving and helping is a good hting but unfortunately it gets taken advantage of. I had a total meltdown and let everyone have it a few years back. Now people are much nicer and considerate of my time. People like us have to make time for ourselves or we won't have anything of ourselves left to give others.


Lb128f
by Linda on Dec. 13, 2017 at 8:05 PM
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I'm sorry that happened...like you say, a friend wouldn't treat you like that.

letstalk747
by Joyful on Dec. 13, 2017 at 8:08 PM
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She aint really a friend.

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