Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to handle family whose values are SO different

Posted by   + Show Post

My mom's husband recently passed and my brother moved in with her. My stepdad was more like myself, more liberal and progressive thinking than my mom. My brother has moved in with my mom and has ultra "conservative" bordering on rasict imo views, very negative, bigoted etc listens to Fox news all the time. I have tried again and again to overlook his comments and beyond obnoxious fb posts which have now rubbed off onto my mom. I love my mo and before he came here we had been getting very very close as well as my oldest daughter with my mom. My daughter has less patience for my brother than I do, much less. I am getting to the point where I really do not like him, although I love him, and I dont want to be around him. I have in the past commented on his fb posts or to him directly, my daughter has had it out with him, and he chooses to want to sweep it under the rug, never try to resolve anything, and act like its all good. He says its just fb and I take it too seriously but his most recent post has pushed me over the edge and I dont know what to do. What would you do, maybe you have been or ar ein a similar situation.

by on Feb. 8, 2018 at 7:16 PM
Replies (21-29):
by Bronze sister on Feb. 9, 2018 at 2:32 PM

I wouldn't block him on FB but simply hide his posts. I have to do this with one of my dd's because I really don't want the kids to see what she posts a majority of the time. This allows me to keep up with her on my own time.

I'd also visit mom on my own when he's not around. Is there any reason that he moved in with her?

by Sister on Feb. 9, 2018 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Undo his news feed.
Don't discuss politics with him.

He's entitled to his conservative opinions just as you're entitled to be a liberal.
by Kristy on Feb. 9, 2018 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Exactly. Or at least just block him so you dont see his posts run through your wall.

Quoting virginiamama71: Delete your brother from your Facebook. Ignore and don't argue with him. Try to spend time with Mother without your brother around. and when she brings up anything you don't like to hear, educate her.

by Vicky on Feb. 9, 2018 at 9:30 PM

Spend time with your mom; ignore him.  Is there any way you can take your mom out and enjoy some quality shopping spree time?  

by Manth on Feb. 10, 2018 at 2:23 AM

It's been almost ten years since she converted. If anything, she is getting worse and more rigid as the years go by. 

Quoting fiddlerbird555: A lot of new converts to anything tend to go overboard. Often they figure it out in a few years. My college roommate's fiance was like that. Upon conversion he had destroyed a bunch of records because the old men of his church told him that rock was evil. It couldn't have been as much as 5 years later he was much more moderate and regretting the loss.
Quoting Manth:

I have a niece who is extremely conservative, right wing and judgemental. I'm liberal, left-leaning and accepting of differences. We only talk on the most superficial of levels these days. I love her dearly but I truly hate a lot of the things she posts online. I don't understand how my sister could have brought up someone so right-wing given that my sister is nearly as hippy-dippy as I am. In her case, she converted in her late teens to a particular Christian sect and has taken on ALL of their values and beliefs and has gotten very much 'if you don't believe EXACTLY as I do, you're bound for Hell'. And she's not afraid to let you know it!

by Silver sister on Feb. 10, 2018 at 3:16 AM
Don’t read Facebook, or just unfollow him. Spend time with your mom and ignore fb.

I’ve unfollowed most people for all sorts of things: posting too many political things or nasty things on either side; too many posts overall; I’ve deleted any who wore a hat in a recent political march and posted pics of it on my feed- I pretty much follow specialty dog breeds and a few organizations lol.
by Linda on Feb. 10, 2018 at 9:32 AM
Well I don't post much about my political opinion being so opposite then anyone especially on line. I do take a little offense to watching fox news. Other then that either ignore posts, hide or unfollow. When you talk to him let it go in one ear and out the other. If it is offensive just tell him but don't let it split you from the family. Maybe write him a letter telling him your feelings and give it to him. Good luck.
by Silver sister on Feb. 10, 2018 at 9:39 AM
1 mom liked this
you cant change his views. just change how you choose to react. take mom out for lunch or to visit at your house.
by RaeMarie on Feb. 10, 2018 at 11:44 AM

Agree to disagree and delete him from FB. Don't let him get under your skin or come between  you and  your mom

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)