Kelly's diary. Dealing with cancer. August 8-12
This is the continuation of my BBF FB posts.
God is my healer , my deliverer and my redeemer . "Heal me oh lord and I will be healed", save me and I will be saved for you are the one I praise" Jeremiah 17:13
How's this for support... My sister n law flew here from TX and quit her job to help me and my family out. I start chemotherapy on Tuesday this coming week and she said if I go and start loosing my hair that she will shave her head for me... What an awesome support system I have;-) Rainie is amazing in times like these.. Thank you sissy!!
Every morning I wake up and have to catch my breath. Is this really happening and do I have to learn to accept this every time I close my eyes and open them again? It takes a bit but then I grasp it and realize that I'm not gone yet and I ask god for as many days or years that he can spare . This is like my cancer diary -therapy. Day 1
I am completely blown away by all of you and your love and support!! It brightens my everything and just lifts me up so high.. What a spiritual journey this is WOW like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. WE all have our cross to bare and to realize that NOone gets away free...To trust in god and gods will and plan for me is being tested and I know I thought that the hardest thing I have ever had to do was stop drinking and learn to live sober .. 7 yrs ago this month .. I trusted in the lord with everything I had and he lifted me out of that dark horrible place higher than I have ever been. A miracle for sure-Well the lord has touched me again with this horrible ,scary and life threatening illness .. It came out of no where-I know I'm strong lord and I'm going to choose to not be mad or sad or ask why.. I choose to look at this as a journey and an adventure of hope , courage and strength for myself and all of you to learn about god and listen to what he's trying to tell you all. This life is only the beggining And Jesus WHO loves us and died the most awful death to pour his blood over us and save us. NOW how awesome is that. Thank you Jesus for your grace and everlasting love. I do believe that he has numbered our days. We all have to go someday. Thank you for your amazing support and please do not stop pouring out your prayers , your thoughts and your love.. This is so spiritual .. Can you feel it too?
It creeps in and cuts me off at the knees .. Can't breath .. Can't imagine and scared out of my mind.. Me.. No more? Wow that is some heavy heavy stuff...help me deal oh lord help me wrap my mind around this...Cancer .. What a nasty word .. The word itself is paralyzing .. Having a bad
Moment ..praying for peace in my mind.. It's such a bad neighborhood...) run forest run
Today is a new day:-) bring on the goodness:-)
A fabulous day with loved ones.. Had the chemo port put in and the adventure begins...I'm confident and so peaceful ...it's going to be ok:-)
There is something inside me that has changed and it is such a beautiful feeling .. I can feel the lord holding my hand... Amazing walk ... I hope that I can relay how real the lord is and how much he loves us all.. Thank you Jesus for all of my blessings and people who you have used to bring me closer to you dear lord . You are my light in the dark and my breath when I breath. You are my peace when I'm anxious and you will never leave my side. You died for me to wash away my sins dear lord and I can do this for you in faith that you have my best interest at heart and I will trust in your healing powers over me lord. I will never doubt your healing and I love you lord so much. Fill me with your love , your strength and the faith I need to put one foot in front of the other.. I pray for your healing for others and I pray that you pour your love on those who are worried about me , give them peace in their hearts and eyes to see you lord. Its going to be ok;-) thank you dear lord and I hope to be a teacher of your word and help someone find you. What a wonderful thing that I could do for you lord. All is good in your name -Jesus AMEN.
Had a break down from hell today. Had a hard time reeling myself back in but I'm ok now! What a journey of self discovery. Strong? What's that? Only as strong as I can be:-) one min at a time...
I praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands... ...
Rest my eyes and my soul dear lord. I'm so very tired... Lift me up in your grace lord and give me peace tonight. Amen
Good morning everyone. Today is going to be a good day. God bless you and keep you safe. I thank god for all of your support.