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Hello everyone, I have started three groups so far but none of them are as important to me as this one. I am a Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma survivor of ten years now. I was diagnosed RIGHT before I graduated High School back in 1996 and was graced with a quick session of chemotherapy and survival. I didn't want to make this group specific to survivors, as I feel all cancer fighters at all levels can benefit from everyones experience regardless of their current status.

Although it has been ten years since my battle it is still very raw for me to talk about. Even now as I type I am getting all teary!

Now as a mother I fear the repercussions of my choice of giving birth to my beautiful little lady. I had to battle with the idea of not being able to have kids (as I was told by doctors in the past) due to chemo. So when my body was host to a little spirit I was astonished and troubled. Obviously I made my decision. One that to this day I still have mixed feelings about.

Anyway! I don't want to blow my proverbial "wad" here so with that, welcome, I love you although I don't know you and I hope this group can help alleviate your anxiety and elevate your spirit.

by on Feb. 9, 2007 at 7:25 PM
Replies (471-474):
by New Member on Dec. 27, 2014 at 5:55 PM
My name is Monica. In 2012 I was diagnosed with Anal cancer. My oncology team were very upbeat and said they had an 85% cure rate with this kind of cancer. Usually one full round of treatment takes care of it. My case was complicated because I also had Crohn's disease.

I began chemo and radiation immediately. I had to stop taking the oral chemo after about a month because it just made me too sick. And my radiation therapy lasted longer because I had to cancel several times due to being so ill.

I finished treatment right after Labor Day in 2012. Unfortunately, the treatment destroyed my colon and it got removed that November. When I was first diagnosed I weighed 165 lbs. The day of my surgery I weighed 134 lbs. When they removed my colon they also removed my rectum and anus and left me with a large open wound to heal from the inside out. Wound care and hyperbaric therapy helped quite a bit but it got to a certain point and wouldn't heal any further.

Earlier this year I had a follow up CT scan and my cancer had returned. Which is why my wound wouldn't heal. They had me do an MRI and found the cancer had moved into my pelvic bone a little. My team determined the only way to get rid of it would be to amputate my leg. They said that was the only option.

I fell apart for the first time since being disgnosed. Completely lost it. Luckily I have five brothers, one sister, two sons, a husband, and numerous extended family who are very stubborn. They wouldn't let me give up.

Cancer Treatment Centers of America declined my plea for help due to my open wound. Guess they only deal with certain complex cancers. My brother called Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. Within two days they had all my records from Swedish Cancer Institute (where my first team was), and I had an appointment by the end of the week. We told them what the other team said about cutting off my leg and they scoffed at that and called it an extreme measure.

So I have been through chemo and radiation again and am topped out on the radiation. My last CT showed the tumor in the bone is still there and is inoperable as they would have to pretty much remove my pelvis. The soft tissue tumor is still too large for surgery so we are in wait snd see mode. Both tumors are showing necrosis in the center so they are dying.

I go back for more scans in February and I'm hoping at least the soft tissue tumor is small enough for surgery and we can get this wound closed.

My greatest fear is that they decide there is nothing more to be done. I have two 4 year old grandchildren I want to watch grow up. My son's, while full grown, still need me close. And if I die I'm afraid my husband will drown himself in a bottle and I won't be here to drag him back out. I don't want to die but I'm not afraid of it. I worry who will take care of my family.
by on Jan. 28, 2015 at 10:07 AM

Is this still an active group?  I'm dealing with my father having cancer and could use some support.

by New Member on Feb. 13, 2015 at 6:15 PM
My story is a bit of a long one. My mom was diagnosed with ampulary adenocarcinoma (a rare form of bile duct/pancreatic cancer) in 2009. She had surgery, did radiation and chemo, then passed away after only a year. I went to visit her from DE to SC just a couple weeks before she passed. I barely recognized her. And her mind was almost gone.

Last January my dad got sick just before I found out I was pregnant. Then in April a few days after I miscarried he was rushed to the hospital. His mind was almost gone and he barely weighed 100lbs. He lives 5hrs away and having to have a d&c I couldn't travel. Amazingly he pulled through after a couple weeks. He was doing great but they didn't quite know what was wrong. He had nodules on his brain and lungs. Finally in December he was officially diagnosed with stage 4E lymphoma. His chemo was to start Dec. 29th, my birthday. He held off till Jan. 5th so he could spend the holidays with us. He was doing ok with the chemo at first. But then he lost his appetite and started getting headaches. Then he started sleeping more and more. He really started worrying me when he barely replied to my messages and missed 2 Dr appointments. Luckily he realized he wasn't doing very good and had himself admitted to the hospital. So that's where I'm at now. Waiting, worrying, and feeling more helpless than ever.
by New Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 9:17 PM

Well, where to begin, this doesn't even feel real yet.  Last week dh was diagnosed with cancer.  The scary part is how he was diagnosed.  They found cancer cells in an enlarged lymph node.  Now, his lymph node is fine, it was apparently just collecting cancer cells from somwhere else in his body.  We don't know where.  We are getting a PET scan this week to find it and I am SCARED.  I don't know what to expect or what will happen next, and right now we are just going through the motions.  I don't think either of us has accepted that this is really happening yet. We told the kids, but only what we knew. They don't seem to be having any issues yet, but we all still don't know exactly what is going on.  

I figured I might need to vent or figure things out without losing my mind, so I came here. 

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