Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

ASD Teen with poor choices and judgements

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:43 PM
  • 6 Replies
  • 864 Total Views

My son, now 15, was convicted and sentenced for sexual misconduct with a younger child, when he was just 13. I think because of the fact that he had never been in any trouble before, and that he is ASD, they only gave him probation for a year, a set hours of community service, and weekly counciling. He is just 2 months away from being discharged from his probation, and I get a call from his school to come in for a meeting and pick him up, as he's suspended for at least 3 days. From what was explained to me at the school. they had a report from another student, same age as my son and ASD, that my son "touched hm inappropriately" in the boys bathroom/locker room. When we questioned my son about the incident, he said the boy told him, prior to the holidays, that he was gay. My son told him that his sexual orientation, to put it nicely, did not have an impact on their friendship. The same boy, according to my son, approached him 2 days ago and asked him to "touch him", then reported it to a teacher/councilor at the school. I'm at a loss at this point as weather to believe my son or not, since he has not been truthful with us in the past. I have been preaching to him everyday about what's appropriate and what's not, but somehow or another, something is lost in the shuffle and here we are back at square one, with the possibility of more charges against him and being taken away this time. Has anyone else out there been faced with a situation like this, and if so, how did you handle it. I'm so confused and beside myself. :(

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:43 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
dmsfr
by Group Owner & PITA on Jan. 5, 2013 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like he may need continued treatment. He could have been set up by the other boy but even at that, like you said, it is hard to tell. Have you spoken to the facility where he is getting the treatment?  Can they extend the program for him. The school may need to provide him a 1:1 or a contained classroom setting.  In any event, you can call an emergency IEP meeting to come up with a plan to keep both your son and the other children in a safe environment.  

A small percentage of kids on the spectrum are hypersexual and really need things spelled out for them in a concrete manner. Some need to be told no sex with others until they are of a certain age. You may also want to put parental controls on the computer and TV to limit his sexual exposure to inappropriate images (if you haven't already).  

lostmom45
by New Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:43 PM

I do monitor his tv and computer content very closely. I will be calling an emergency IEP meeting for him on Tuesday when I meet with the principle at his school. I don't think they are following his IEP that is in place at this time, so I will need to address this issue more closely. As far as therapy, the one he was seeing each week has been suspended due to insurance issues, so until that's resolved, he gets nothing. I can't even get him a therapist through my county offices, as the county I live in no longer offers "wrap around services" for therapists and TSS. The closest county to me that does have it is an hour away from here, and if you don't live in that county, you can't recieve the services. I really do appreciate all of the feedback I am getting here, it's helping clear my mind a lot and allowing me to focus more on my son's needs.

dmsfr
by Group Owner & PITA on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this

What state are you in?  Can you get voluntary services through DCF/DCYS?  Sometimes they will pay for the TSS and therapy if you think that he needs it and the insurance is being a pain. 

If you really want to be smart with the school you can ask for a manifestation hearing. They would need to prove that they have all the right safeguards and are following your son's IEP in order to suspend him.  I'm not saying either way that he should or should not have been based on what happened.  But having the hearing holds them accountable for the lack of supervision.

lostmom45
by New Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I live in Harrisburg PA, and the lack of services here would blow your mind. CBHMP was paying for his therapy up until September, then somehow they finally saw my hubby's insurance information in the system, that had been there since day one, then they stopped paying. My hubby was laid off from his job for 8 weeks from mid September until Mid November, his health insurance was cancelled because it's employer paid, CBHMP paid for the therapist during that tme. As soon as hubby went back to work and his insurance was reinstated, CBHMP stopped paying for therapy again. The office for his therapist is trying to get DCYS to cover the cost of the therapy so my son can continue his therapy, as part of his court order from the previous incident 2 years ago. I haven't heard anything back from the therapist of office in general as to the progress of this inquiry, but am going to follow up first thing Monday morning to see what the hold up is. As far as "proper supervision", the day in question on this situation, the regular Ornamental Horticulture teacher was not in, and the class was being substituted by a Physical Education teacher. According to my son, he went into the boys bathroom/locker room to wash pine sap off of his hands, from a project he had been working on for the upcoming Farm Show that the class will be participating in, when the other student followed him in and approached him, asking my son to "touch him". My son said he declined and walked away. The substitute teacher claims that both students were missing for 15 minutes. I know first hand that pine sap isn't the easiest thing to get off of skin, and does take a bit of time and elbow grease to get a good portion of it off, so I really don't believe he was missing for that long, maybe 5 minutes at best, but not 15. I will definately be on top of my game come Tuesday morning when I havve to meet with the principle, IEP coordinator, Guidance, and the assistant principle. There isn't enough time to get an advocate to attend with me, so I'm going on my best strategy at this point, and will definately be asking a ton of questions and make them prove my son is guilty.

momofmfjd
by New Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 11:54 AM

My 15 dd is relatively newly diagnosed as Autism/Aspergers. She has been acting out sexually and inappropriately. She denies anyone touching her, etc. She has sensory issues. I am scared and becoming increasingly depressed. She is in a private school and has been doing okay academically has a couple friends who are also on the Autism Spectrum. She wasadopted as an infant. She has been on a waiting list for therapy for over a year now. I don't know what to do. I am afraid she will get in trouble.

SAMI_JO
by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:46 AM

my ds is 15  and  HYPERSEXUAL! He got addicted to porn from bing pics and videos. Now anything to do with sex, sex change, or porn in any fashion. He has been on me pay for sex change for over a year now. I even caught him dvr'ing infomercials. He is extremely aggressive, and will defend his "private" stuff ( tv,recorded shows, his bedroom(where he has a stash of my underwear, so I have been told). In my eye he deserves only tv that I watch with him, and lost the "privacy" privaledge. I want to lock him out of his room but dad won't let me.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)