Divorce?

[NewMom166]

 I am not sure if this is appropriate but I need direction...!  Has anyone ever gone through a divorce with an alcoholic man that you have a child with?  If so I need some direction as to what I need to do that will help me keep my daughter and can I look forward to not being broke after it..

We have no communication anymore we have seen the marriage counselor which he won't go to anymore because she told him you are going to loose your marriage to drinking!  We just have grown apart, I went back to work to give me some confidence in leaving, he's controlling he's hiding bank accounts from me and he opened another business under his brothers name!  He has a security box somewhere else then the one we have!  He's just screwing me left and right and he litterally wants me to have sex with him but I know all this and he doesn't know that I know about any of it...WTF!  What do I do? He even is giving his brother and mother lots of money on the side!

HELP

[coral407]

I'm sorry for what you are going through, but the best thing I can say is to speak to a divorce lawyer right away.  Usually they will talk to you for free the first time and can tell you the best way to handle this situation.  Good luck! 

[dubnchix]

I agree, talk to a divorce lawyer right away!  Sometimes they have a consultation fee, some do not.  Get the advice and work on the steps to get you free from him.  Good luck and hang in there! 

[NewMom166]

Thank you girls for your information I am going to see someone this coming week can't wait

[melodyev]

Make sure she is in your custody when you file. In most states, whoever the child is with when the parents file is who the kid stays with until it is decided in court.

[IAmFreeToDance]

My husbands (who I am currently separated from) ex had him pay for the lawyers fees, I'm sure you could do that too somehow. Good luck, I am sorry sounds frustrating and nerve racking

[LauraKatherine]

write everything down!!

phone conversations

save emails, notes, voice mails, everything and anything

if he is a drunk or unreliable father, the proof will be in the notes and will help you get what you need.

also, proof of the accusations by any means of documentation will show that you have grounds for mistrust & divorce.

That being said, I have gone down this path, it isn't fun at all... luckily we worked it out and I hope the same for you...but seriously document everything you can, just keep a journal, extra file in the file cabinet, or whatever you need to do.

 

[muslimah]

I have been through 2 divorces. The first 10 years ago in which we had my daughter then 2 years old. It was a friendly divorce and my husband was in immigration lock down because he had been court ordered deported which never happened because he is from a hostile country (Iraq).

The second divorce, I am in the middle of now and thankfully we have no kids so I can't really offer you any advise on that but I will say divorce is a better option than an unhappy marriage.

If this marriage is holding you back from the happiness you deserve  out of life then get yourself an attorney and do what you have to do to get yourself out with your child.

If he is an alcoholic like you say you should not have much of a problem but I would not even go into a divorce with no children without an attorney so make sure you get yourself one if that is what you decide to do.

[Ambear72]

Quoting LauraKatherine:

write everything down!!

phone conversations

save emails, notes, voice mails, everything and anything

if he is a drunk or unreliable father, the proof will be in the notes and will help you get what you need.

also, proof of the accusations by any means of documentation will show that you have grounds for mistrust & divorce.

That being said, I have gone down this path, it isn't fun at all... luckily we worked it out and I hope the same for you...but seriously document everything you can, just keep a journal, extra file in the file cabinet, or whatever you need to do.

 

I agree with this.  I won a lawsuit with the school district because I kept track of everything.  Sadly though I have a friend who is going through a divorce and her jerk is very caniving (how ever its spelled) and she dosnt have the documents to prove anything.   Something I did learn from her situation though is to NOT TALK to anyone esp his family.  My friend had a visit with her MIL and I went with her to make sure the MIL wasnt being mean or what ever.  We were causually talking about what she was going to do with her life AFTER the divorce and she told her son about it and they turned her words around and made it sound like she was talking about now. ( she had a temp restraining order against him)  Its a huge mess.  ON a good note he tried lying to welfare to get her into trouble and because she had journals and other proof that he was lying she didnt get into trouble.  What he accused her of was Welfare Fraud and a feloney.  So aside from my rambling dont talk to his family about anything.  Even in an innocent conversation and do write it all down!  Thats your best defense. 

One more thing.  She got a honest lawyer and she told the truth, but because her ex got a lying evil attorney he got away with domestic violence.  Just because an attoney is cheap dosnt mean they are good.  Durning my friends domestic violence hearing the attorney wasnt even there!  Watch out for Attorneys who are always busy or you have to wait a long time for appointments.  Good luck!

Amber