I am so devastated! I just found evidence that my best friend is having an affair!
She has been avoiding me alot lately and I wasn't sure what was going on...someone suggested she was avoiding me so she wouldn't slip about it and then I would tell my Husband who would then tell her Husband since they're also best friends.
She's been telling me they're having problems, she isn't sure what she wants anymore, blah blah blah....she even tried to tell me she found suspicious text messages on his phone recently implying that HE was screwing around. It seems to me like he is really trying to make it work, at least from what I've seen.
Right now, both of our Hubby's are out of town together helping her MIL move. She has avoided me like the plague since they've been gone....VERY suspicious. Usually we're inseperable.
Well about a week ago she went to Texas to visit a friend of theirs. It seemed kinda fishy to me but whatever. Well today I found pics on one of our friends FB pages of their trip...one of them commented on a Guys photo album so being nosy, I clicked on it...sure enough, its labeled "San Antonio" And there are pics of him & my so called BF all over each other! OMG!!!!!!! This Guy is her EX BOYFRIEND from before she was married. What is she doing? I then found even more pics of them together going back a couple months.
My cousin told me to not say anything until the Husbands are home so they can't take the pics off the page......I'm just FLOORED...she's been lying to not only her Husband but to me as well for a couple months now.....today I emailed her to ask her what is going on with her. Why is she SO different lately, did I do something, etc? She basically turned it around on me, saying I always seem stressed out & busy and she has NO idea what happened between us and what has changed the past couple of months. (of course now I DO now the reason)
What do I do? I don't want to bring it into the open while her Husband is gone but I think she needs to be confronted on this.
Some of you may think its not my business but its affecting me,She also has a 1 1/2 yr old that I watch 3 days a week....I care about her well being. I don't think its ok for her to lie to me and use me anymore....so I'm not sure what to do with this info......its killing me to hold this inside.
Anyone been in this kind of situation? I'm confused...part of me wants to confront her on it and part of me just wants to tell her husband. Either way, our friendship is OVER...it is not ok for her to treat me this way and I'm over it.
I am sorry to say but it is usually the messenger in this situation that gets shot. I have a girlfriend whose b/f husband is always cheating on her and when she finds out she confronts him all mad and always goes back to him. She has almost lost her best friend since the husband of course is mad that somehow she keeps meeting his mistress.
You have to decide if you are willing to loose your best friend in the process and since your husband seems to be friends too maybe get his take. There is one marriage, two friendships here to thank about it.
Good luck if you want to talk feel free to message me.
Leilani Schweitzer
Loose inches in 45 Minutes
Lasting results not water loss!!
Hi, I am new to this group so I hope you don't mind if I give advice. This first reply is right. Usually the messenger gets shot. But if you feel you need to do something about it then copy the pictures that you saw of her and her ex to your computer. Then confront her and find out if she has a plan to leave or what her motive is for what she is doing. You say that the friendship is over and that will be the case if you confront her, then do what you think is right. You can also wait til your husband comes home and show him and get his opinion on what is best to do. It might help since he is friends with her husband. But if you confront her get thos pics from FB. People need proof no matter what. I have confronted someone before about it and I lost their their friendship. But you have to ask yourself, what are your morals for you and your family, and you will see that you don't want people like that in your life. Sorry if I didn't help
Dear Busybee
my advice to you is to help yr friend get out of the affair! talk to her in a kind way..make her feel tt u will stand by her - NOT COVER HER - if she decides to do the right thing and END it asap!
what u need to do here, is to try n save your friends' marriage and support them in a way tt they will feel good abt their relation as a couple - probably there were problems for things to get out of control like tt - !
why have u already decided tt yr friendship is over?? true friends should be there always..especially at such difficult situations!
sometimes people do wrong n they don't even understand why they do it. U hv to try n make her understand the true purpose of her existance... n her priority should be her child n her family!
do not bring anyone else into this, it's between u n her.
feel free to msg me if u like.
thanks for considering :)
I do not think any good could come out of revealing your friend's affair to her husband. It will not make her a better mother to her 1 1/2 yr old daughter, will not improve her marriage, will not necessarily end her affair, and will most likeky devastate whatever vestige of friendship that is left between the two of you. I understand that you feel betrayed by her because she did not confide in you about her affair, however, this is not your secret to share. If this business makes you feel uncomfortable watching her daughter, a more reasonable action might be to let her know she needs to find another babysitter.
Sticky situation, but I've been in a similar one and I totally respect how the person handled it. My husband was cheating and my best friend found out about it. We were all close, but she was my friend first. Regardless, she gave him an ultimatum: Either you tell her or I will, and you have one week.
So, on the very last day my husband tells me what was going on. I was devastated and pissed at first that my friend knew about it, but held the highest respect for her on how she handled this. It would not go unnoticed and certainly isn't going to be a dirty little secret.
I know you have probably already handled this or confronted the girl, but if by chance you haven't, give her the opportunity to come clean -- and give her a time restraint. Then you can step in as this is affecting your family. Think about it, if you pretend this didn't happen, 5 years from now when her husband finds out, he's going to be pissed at you and your husband for not doing something.
I think you need to not take sides in this and just be a good friend. Help her to come clean with her husband, but also be there for her. Although she's doing this awful thing, it must be hard for her too. Affairs can be like an addiction. So, don't give up on your friendship, even if she duking it out with you. This whole experience might actually be painful for her as well..........
There is nothing worse then finding out that people knew of the affair and didnt stand up for the person who was being cheated on. Believe me I know. I am living with that as I speak. Quite a few people knew of my husband;s affair and didn't bother telling me or even giving a hint that it was happening. I hold a lot of anger towards those who knew even though it was my husbands doing the cheating. I do think that it would be a good idea to confront your friend and let her know you saw pictures that were questionable and you are concerned about them. If she is doing something that is inappropiate with the guy in the pic. She needs to advise your husband of her doings or you will with in a week of him returning. Let her know that if your husband was cheating and she found out. You would expect for her to do the same for you. That you will be there to help her through it no matter what she decides. But she has to finish this marriage first before she starts another. Tell her you may be really angry with me now and cut off our friendship. But when you wise up and realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You will always be waiting with open arms with your friendship for her. Best of luck.
Your thoughts on pregnant mothers who smoke, drink ect while pregnant
- busybee76
on Nov. 4, 2009 at 3:33 PM