need a friend this morning piog

[camy41075]

It has been a rough week. I got a call on Thurs. last week they moved my bio father to hospice. We got a major snow storm on Fri and Sat I went down on Sunday and then again yesterday. Over night and today and tomorrow we are getting more snow. I called this morning and spoke w/ his nurse and he had a rough night. I know I have done everything I can I said my goodbye but I am just so damn sad. We were never close my parents got divorced when I was 2 and I only seen him off and on since then. But he is still my dad. I just am so sad and I don't know what to do. I have lost my grandparents but not a parent. I know I should be there but I live 2 hours away and I have three children so I can not go b/c of the snow.

There is not really a meaning to this post other than I just needed to talk to someone. My hubby is being great took off work w/ me yesterday b/c I do not like to drive on the highways (I know I am a chicken)

[grrlpanda]

It is hard I know. I did not talk to my father for about 10 years before he died but it was still hard. You will always feel conflicted but you have to do what is best all around b/c you have children of your own to take care of now.

[philsmom977]

my heart goes out to u.  My dad died suddenly when he was fairly young.  Your dad loves you very much and he knows you love him.

[singlemomof2nok]

(((HUGS)))  it is always tough to lose someone you love. 

[MamaBloom777]

You're not a chicken for not driving in crazy snow with your children....you're being safe.  Your dad knows that.  Don't feel guilty for it.  I can only imagine what you're going through.  Whether you were close or not, he is still & will always be your father.  Of course you're upset!  I hope that you get the peace that you need in this trying time! 

[brandoneaglemom]

Im saying a prayer to you and your family and im sending out much love to you during this difficult time!!

[mumsy2three]

You're not  alone and your not a chicken, I don't like to drive in the snow or on highways, major ones anyway.

I also understand what you are saying about your dad. My dad left my mom when I was a teenager. He lived in California and we were never close again. It took me along time to forgive him enough to accept simple things from him like a birthday or Christmas card. About 7 years ago he came back to the area b/c he was sick. I never went to see him when he was at our local hospital. I was 8 months pregnant at the time and had pregnancy induced hypertension and had to go for weekly fetal stress tests. I just felt seeing him wasn't something I could add to my stress. Then he was moved to a VA hospital in Baltimore, that's about an hour and a half away from me. I wouldn't go b/c I won't drive on highways. He passed away in the hospital and my brother was with him. I did go to my dad's funeral. I wrote a very long letter that was buried with my dad. I honestly don't regret not making it down to see him in the hospital because it would have been the first time in 20 years that I saw him. I think writing the letter to him helped me forgive him completely.

Hugs to you mama, don't be so hard on yourself.