My 11 yr old is sending me through the roof right now. I woke up and told both my kids that I was going to the store to pick up some things today. So they both asked me if they could get a drink or a snack. I said sure if you clean up the house for me and do not argue. They start cleaning and immediately its an arguement. My 11 yr old was still sitting on the couch playing the Wii while the 7yr old is cleaning. So I start yelling at him and tell him to get off his butt and clean. The ENTIRE time he is cleaning he is talking crap to me under his breath.
Then, the 11yr old starts saying "I dont know why I have to clean this stuff up its not mine!" tossing things around etc. Meanwhile the whole time my 7yr old has been cleaning/playing with no issues. I go take a shower and get out. The house is still not clean so at this point Im yelling. They both finally get done and I tell my 11yr old to take a shower. I go in my room, come back out, and my kid is still sitting there not taking a shower! Now Im yelling at this kid yet again and he starts talking crap to me again. Its a neverending fight with this kid. I want him to just cooperate and not fight everything I say. He is so lazy and it pisses me off. I dont know what to do to get this kid to straighten up and Ive even looked into military schools.
Now they are both going to ask me if they can have a drink/snack at the store and Im going to tell the 11yr old no and the 7yr old yes just because he didnt argue with me. This means the older one will be a brat all day and treat me like crap more. I cant win.
I was going to say ADHD as well my son started getting out of control at the age of 11(acted just like your son with the I hate you,yelling at you, thinking they shouldnt have to do anything,etc) after being a good kid and we have not EVER had problems with him.We do discipline him the same way we did then and NOTHING we did worked,taking away toys,video games,grounding him, sending him to his room,etc then he started acting up in school, getting poor grades,etc we had him tested and he has ADHD and ODD(Look ODD up sounds like your son) and sometimes to this day(he is 17) he still acts up and gets mouthy and he gets sent to his room. he thinks he is big and bad at times and even showing kids your the parent doesnt always work especially if they have behavior problems or other issues now when we say go to your room he says Im going and thats it. he does tend to have his bad days but we deal with them the best we can and he is a teenager as well so all the hormone changes dont help(could be part of your 11 Y.O problem as well) other than that my son is a good kid and even as he gets older he is maturing better he even kisses me on the cheek goodnight which he didnt use to do
Quoting Andl2ea:
Quoting csandersfuller:
I agree with the counseling idea but also I have a question has he always been the way he is now. If so if you are able I would take him to a child psychologist and see what they say he could have adhd or something else. The reason I say this is because I am a mom to 2 little boys with ADHD and my seven year old when he gets mad will act the way your 11 year old does, I do take things from him and what not but this doesnt always work. Both my boys are on medication for their adhd and it does help but they do have outbursts at times. I dont know if this will help but maybe even a good old fashioned spanking may help.
its funny you say this, i had a meeting with his teachers at his previous school and brought this up. they set a appointment for him to get tested and when i called the previous day of the appointment they said they gave the appointment to someone else on "accident" and id have to wait another month. i gave up. the only thing i am concerned about is that im bipolar and i take medication for it, the stress medication i was talking about earlier. im not crazy i just use to have mood swings that are under control now, its just arguing with my son makes it hard to keep my cool. anyway..i hope christian isnt going through the same thing. i think its hard to diagnose at this age and i dont want him medicated.
Next time, just walk over turn off the Wii, unplug it and take it away. End of story. If he is not listening to you and backtalking and copping attitude, then there should be consequences. My son is 4.5 and I have started this with him already. They need to learn that sort of behavior is not OK and will not be tolerated.
I am thinking that if you stop yelling at him and ask him nicely he might respond better. I know that if my mom kept screaming at me all day, I'd be less likely to want to help her.
Quoting hmjones2005:
Next time, just walk over turn off the Wii, unplug it and take it away. End of story. If he is not listening to you and backtalking and copping attitude, then there should be consequences. My son is 4.5 and I have started this with him already. They need to learn that sort of behavior is not OK and will not be tolerated.
i agree totally. im not nice to him when he is mouthing off. if i take things from him i get " i hate this house" or "i hate you". this one is my favorites though, he tells my hubby this, "you just yell at me because im not your son". my husband has been there since my son was 3. he never treats my older son any different then our other son. this really pisses me off and i know it hurts my husbands feelings. once i was so sick of him telling me that he hates our house that told him to pack his stuff and ill drop him off at the foster home down the street. good luck finding someone else to deal with your attitude. it was wrong but it scared him. i just want him to get the point that he doesnt have it all bad. he has always been a difficult child. ill just have to try different methods.
Hubby concerned that new baby will get ALL attention
Which do you prefer, your kids at school or home for summer break?
- Andl2ea
on Mar. 20, 2010 at 3:51 PM