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My sons naked pictures!!!!

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 6:38 PM
  • 12 Replies

Recently my cell phone came up missing and when I cleaned my sons room today I found it. I was taking pictures of my friends baby and discovered my son had taken naked pictures of hisself. Not just naked pictures but upclose ones of his privates. How do I address this with him, because my first instinct was to spank his but. What I think that would have made him shut down and not talk to me....Please someone help!!!

by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 6:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KelliandScott
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 6:39 PM

How old is he?

giftofgiving
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 6:47 PM

That's what I want to know - but I guess no matter how old he is - you should talk to him. Spanking him may only make things worse. He may be confused about those things and he did it on your phone, so he may be reaching out to you. Punishing him may push him away and cause him not to trust you or talk to you.

Maybe it is time to have a talk to him about his sexuality and privacy. No one is to young to learn about privacy once they get to this point.

TCLARKE
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 6:51 PM

He is 9. I have talked to him about his body and that no one is to touch him and he isnt to touch others. Made it is time to talk about sex. Age appropriate talking that is...

Undomesticated
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 7:03 PM

At 9 years old, this sounds like 1 of 2 things.

1.  He is more curious about his body, and doesn't know how to express that.  Maybe he's even heard his friends talk about taking naked pictures. 

2.  It's a cry for help.  Maybe he's feeling confused about different things.  And taking the pictures on your phone, knowing you would find them, may be his way of telling you he needs to talk.

What I would do, as upsetting as it is, is try to calm down.  You don't want to talk to him while you are upset, he will be able to tell by your tone of voice and may not talk to you. 

Then, just talk to him.  Sit down in his room, a private place so he doesn't feel like he's divulging information to everyone.  A audience more than you may cause embarrassment.  Tell him that you had found some pictures that he had taken of himself with your phone and you wanted to know if everything was alright, if he had any questions about his body, or what was the reason he "needed" to take these pictures.  Asking him may help him open up to you and give you a better ideas as to what is going on in his head.  But, you have to listen and not talk down to him when he answers you, otherwise he may not feel comfortable talking to you about this subject again and may not go to you next time.

I can't even imagine what you're going through right now.  My son is only 21 months, and just knowing that I have to have certain conversations with him makes me nervous.  But we do what we have to do as moms.  Good luck.

steelcrazy
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 7:07 PM

My big concern would be that he sent the naked pics to someone else.  Check you phone to make sure that he didn't because this is very common in this age group.  My son is also 9 and we have just recently started talking about sex.  I have my hubby talk with him, but then I go in hi room when they are done, just to let him know that I am there for him too if he ever has any questions.

TCLARKE
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 7:10 PM


Quoting steelcrazy:

My big concern would be that he sent the naked pics to someone else.  Check you phone to make sure that he didn't because this is very common in this age group.  My son is also 9 and we have just recently started talking about sex.  I have my hubby talk with him, but then I go in hi room when they are done, just to let him know that I am there for him too if he ever has any questions.

He didnt send the pics cause the texting part of the phone is locked because some people send horrible texts. So that I know didn't happen.

steelcrazy
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 7:13 PM


Quoting TCLARKE:

 

Quoting steelcrazy:

My big concern would be that he sent the naked pics to someone else.  Check you phone to make sure that he didn't because this is very common in this age group.  My son is also 9 and we have just recently started talking about sex.  I have my hubby talk with him, but then I go in hi room when they are done, just to let him know that I am there for him too if he ever has any questions.

He didnt send the pics cause the texting part of the phone is locked because some people send horrible texts. So that I know didn't happen.

Thank God!  That was my first worry.  Kids do things so much younger these days, it's really scarry for us parents.

Mom of two boys ages 9 (third grade) and 6 (kindergarten)


krystlewv
by on Apr. 24, 2010 at 7:21 PM

Is there father or a father figure around to discuss this with him? I think it needs to be talked about, but you dont want him to be any more uncomfortable than he might already be.

TCLARKE
by on Apr. 25, 2010 at 4:30 AM


Quoting krystlewv:

Is there father or a father figure around to discuss this with him? I think it needs to be talked about, but you dont want him to be any more uncomfortable than he might already be.


Unfortunatly not I am all my kids have. We discuss everything. I have tried to teach my kids to be open with me.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Apr. 25, 2010 at 7:45 AM


Quoting steelcrazy:

My big concern would be that he sent the naked pics to someone else.  Check you phone to make sure that he didn't because this is very common in this age group.  My son is also 9 and we have just recently started talking about sex.  I have my hubby talk with him, but then I go in hi room when they are done, just to let him know that I am there for him too if he ever has any questions.

This is my first concern too. Mainly because the police consider that child porn even if he took the pictures himself, if they are sent to anyone it is considered distributing child porn and whoever receives the pics can also be charged with having child porn, and age really doesn't matter.  I work in a highschool and sexting is huge and trying to get kids to understand the whole scope of the issue is hard. Now obviously a 9 year old wouldn't be handled like a teen or young adult but who knows since it's all so new. It's important to know what could happen b/c having to register as an offender for the rest of your life would be a horrible thing.

I would definitly talk to him and explain that taking, sending and receiving any naked pictures are all not okay.

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