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I don't know how I'm suppose to feel about this.....

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:55 PM
  • 22 Replies

Okay, DH's coworker passed away last week.  He was a teacher (along with DH) and I've met him a couple of times.  He was a nice man.  They have a memorial service on Friday at 4pm.  I can actually make it so being a wife to my husband, I figured we were going to the service together.  I asked when it was and what time so that I can schedule it.

He emails me and says, "I'm going with Michael, Louie, and Fred."  WHAT?  That just seems odd to me that he didn't expect nor ask me to go at all.  Knowing these guys, I'd probably say that their spouses will be going.  I would be really surprised if the wives didn't go with them.

I'm not sure what to think about this.  I did email him back to say that I wanted to go.  I'm waiting for his reply.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rona503
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:57 PM

 i would be very upset that he did not think you would want to go . i mean you are his wife and you should be able to go also .or down here that is what you do any way .

singlemomof2nok
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:57 PM

 It sounds like only the guys are going.  Maybe he thought because you didn't really know him that you wouldn't want to go.

MommyToEthan
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 1:01 PM

personally it wouldn't bother me.   sounds like he was just planning on going with friends/co-workers.

 

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andrea96
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:08 PM

DH and I have never gone to each others' coworkers' funerals, but we had never met the coworkers, either. 

awgarcia
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:16 PM


Quoting MommyToEthan:

personally it wouldn't bother me.   sounds like he was just planning on going with friends/co-workers.

 


crwspringer
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:19 PM

I get him wanting to go with coworkers.  I recently had a coworker pass and did not "ask" my hubby to go.  He had met her a few times as well.

M4LG5
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:19 PM

Two things on why I am a little hurt...

1. I feel left out.  My parents always attended these events together no matter what.  I felt like it is a "role" of the spouse. 

2. In the beginning he used to engage me into his worklife and now he doesn't at all.  It is very separate and he rarely talks to me about stuff going on at work.

rogueflowrchld
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:27 PM


Quoting M4LG5:

Two things on why I am a little hurt...

1. I feel left out.  My parents always attended these events together no matter what.  I felt like it is a "role" of the spouse. 

2. In the beginning he used to engage me into his worklife and now he doesn't at all.  It is very separate and he rarely talks to me about stuff going on at work.

Yeah, I can understand that, but as long as your relationship is solid outside of his work your good. If not, then you have a reason to be concerned. My SO is a cop and he needs that time, away from me and the kids, away from our family, to just hang out with the guys. It reduces stress and makes our relationship great. 

M4LG5
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:44 PM


Quoting rogueflowrchld:


Quoting M4LG5:

Two things on why I am a little hurt...

1. I feel left out.  My parents always attended these events together no matter what.  I felt like it is a "role" of the spouse. 

2. In the beginning he used to engage me into his worklife and now he doesn't at all.  It is very separate and he rarely talks to me about stuff going on at work.

Yeah, I can understand that, but as long as your relationship is solid outside of his work your good. If not, then you have a reason to be concerned. My SO is a cop and he needs that time, away from me and the kids, away from our family, to just hang out with the guys. It reduces stress and makes our relationship great. 

We are not solid.  We have quite a few issues and one is that I don't feel like a priority to him.  He doesn't go out of his way for me.

rogueflowrchld
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 2:46 PM


Quoting M4LG5:


Quoting rogueflowrchld:


Quoting M4LG5:

Two things on why I am a little hurt...

1. I feel left out.  My parents always attended these events together no matter what.  I felt like it is a "role" of the spouse. 

2. In the beginning he used to engage me into his worklife and now he doesn't at all.  It is very separate and he rarely talks to me about stuff going on at work.

Yeah, I can understand that, but as long as your relationship is solid outside of his work your good. If not, then you have a reason to be concerned. My SO is a cop and he needs that time, away from me and the kids, away from our family, to just hang out with the guys. It reduces stress and makes our relationship great. 

We are not solid.  We have quite a few issues and one is that I don't feel like a priority to him.  He doesn't go out of his way for me.

Sorry, sweetie. I know all about relationship issues and they suck. BAD. Does he spend time with you one on one? Any time?

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