Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Desperately need advice on how to deal with my son!!!!

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:04 PM
  • 37 Replies

My ds is 9, almost 10, years old.  He has always had some behavioral problems, maybe a phone call here or there from a teacher during a school year, but this year he has taken it to a whole new level. 

Everything seemed okay in the beginning of the school year, but from about March to this point, not so good.  His teacher is constantly calling me to "tell" on him, not really disciplining him, which I'm a little confused about I guess.  I mean, I can discipline him & talk to him when he is home from school, but I always thought that it was up to the teachers & administrators of the school to discipline them at school.  He hasn't had any real consequences for any of his actions. 

Sorry for rambling, let me get to the heart of the issue.  He is being extremely disrespectful to his teacher.  Talking back, refusing to do work, etc.  Today she told him to go to another teachers classroom - again, not sure what kind of punishment that is, if a child is being unruly why send them to another class, so they could disturb that class?? - but on the way out of her room he actually kicked a chair!!!!!!!  Then instead of going where he was told to go, he took it upon himself to go to the principal.  I'm still waiting to hear from the principal to see what they are planning on doing, I'll take care of punishment at home, but he doesn't seem to be receptive to any of the punishments. 

I am really at a loss when it comes to ideas on what to do with him.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated.  I know it may seem that I'm trying to put his issues on the school, but I'm seriously not!!  I just think that they should discipline him, detention or something, when he is there, but they haven't.  I am NOT making excuses for his behavior, I just need help in trying to deal with it.  Thanks ladies!

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:04 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ame4c
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:10 PM

 I agree with you.  They should not be letting him walk all over them.  I mean they need to call you and let you know too, but he still has to have consiquences at school.  Take away his recess and give him detention.  Make him write 100 times (kids hate that).  Something, and I believe I would be saying something to the school about it.

     ame4c


Please check out my group:
http://www.cafemom.com/group/Moms_from_Dysfunctional_Families


 

SillyRooster
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:15 PM

You are his mother.  If you feel he is not being disciplined enough at school, YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHING HIM AT HOME! 

If he shoplifted something and he didn't get caught in the store would you just let him keep it or would you make him go back?

If he broke something at someone's home would you offer to replace it or brush it off?


momof4qtz
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:17 PM


Quoting ame4c:

 I agree with you.  They should not be letting him walk all over them.  I mean they need to call you and let you know too, but he still has to have consiquences at school.  Take away his recess and give him detention.  Make him write 100 times (kids hate that).  Something, and I believe I would be saying something to the school about it.

Thank you!!!!  I was starting to think I was crazy.  I mean definitely call me & let me know, I've disciplined him here, you need to discipline him there.  I mean, his teacher has called to tell me what he did, I apologize & tell her that I will talk with him when he gets home, then she'll be like okay, well do you want to talk to him now.  WTH???  I feel like they want me to babysit him while he is there, if you get my drift.  I have no problem with them dealing with it there, I don't know why they don't.  I think that is why he is misbehaving, he feels like he can get away with it.  Ugh.... thanks for understanding.

momof4qtz
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:19 PM


Quoting SillyRooster:

You are his mother.  If you feel he is not being disciplined enough at school, YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHING HIM AT HOME! 

If he shoplifted something and he didn't get caught in the store would you just let him keep it or would you make him go back?

If he broke something at someone's home would you offer to replace it or brush it off?


I AM punishing him at home.  They aren't disciplining him there, that is one major issue for me.  What I do at home keeps him in line, but when he is there, under the schools supervision, it is their responsibility to give him some form of discipline, is it not?

ame4c
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:20 PM

 

Quoting SillyRooster:

You are his mother.  If you feel he is not being disciplined enough at school, YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHING HIM AT HOME! 

If he shoplifted something and he didn't get caught in the store would you just let him keep it or would you make him go back?

If he broke something at someone's home would you offer to replace it or brush it off?


 I disagree.  I mean I would discipline him at home also, but the teachers are never going to gain his respect if they don't give him conciquences.  He's just going to continue to think he can do what he wants.

     ame4c


Please check out my group:
http://www.cafemom.com/group/Moms_from_Dysfunctional_Families


 

SillyRooster
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:22 PM


Quoting momof4qtz:


Quoting SillyRooster:

You are his mother.  If you feel he is not being disciplined enough at school, YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHING HIM AT HOME! 

If he shoplifted something and he didn't get caught in the store would you just let him keep it or would you make him go back?

If he broke something at someone's home would you offer to replace it or brush it off?


I AM punishing him at home.  They aren't disciplining him there, that is one major issue for me.  What I do at home keeps him in line, but when he is there, under the schools supervision, it is their responsibility to give him some form of discipline, is it not?

Please indulge me... how are you punishing him?

-Dani, mother hen to one SillyRooster
LisaAnne1970
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:23 PM

Have you ever thought of getting your son test for ADHD. He may be getting bored in class and acts out to get attention, because he is bored.

Sheacat
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:23 PM


Quoting LisaAnne1970:

Have you ever thought of getting your son test for ADHD. He may be getting bored in class and acts out to get attention, because he is bored.


duckigrrl
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:26 PM


Quoting ame4c:

 



 I disagree.  I mean I would discipline him at home also, but the teachers are never going to gain his respect if they don't give him conciquences.  He's just going to continue to think he can do what he wants.

Exactly! He is getting punished at home but if the teachers dont do anything more than wring their hands it's just going to continue.  There are punishments schools can administer so why arent they doing it?


ame4c
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:29 PM

 

Quoting LisaAnne1970:

Have you ever thought of getting your son test for ADHD. He may be getting bored in class and acts out to get attention, because he is bored.

 This could be the issue, but I am very scepticle about the ADHD stuff.  My son is ADHD and as soon as they get classified it's like they become a problem child or they want to FORCE you to medicate them.  I'm not saying don't look into it, just be informed when you do.  Some schools use this as an excuse and like zombies in their class instead of students.

     ame4c


Please check out my group:
http://www.cafemom.com/group/Moms_from_Dysfunctional_Families


 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)