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...what will you do if...

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 5:51 PM
  • 20 Replies

what will you do if your hubby told you that he's not happilly married to you...will you still stay...

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 5:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
brandoneaglemom
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:08 PM

im sorry to hear that....No, you dont walk out/away. Can you go to counseling? was this over something that has happened to you guys? financially? kids? sometimes things can interfere and maybe things uncomfortable for you guys. or was this something that has been building up for a long long time?.........im sorry to hear that when you marry someone you love very much and you have children together and build a life together and one day they come to you and say theyre not happy and they want out. its very difficult and i hope that you decide to go to counseling.....im so sorry. you do whatever you can before you throw in the towel....ok....because, if you never try and walk away then youll never know if it would have worked...send me a message if you wanta talk. ive been married for almost 22 years and been through a lot...talk to me

ame4c
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:37 PM

 hmmm.... I wish mine would have said something.  He just packed his stuff and left while the kids and I were at a boy scout meeting.  No amount of begging for counciling worked either.  I asked several times if we could save our 12 yr marriage, but he said "nothing would help".  Well come to find out, there was a little reason "nothing would help".  1 month after we were divorced, he was remarried and 6 months later he had a new baby. 

Funny thing was there was no warning or anything, we didn't fight.  We had just been on a family camping trip.  But now 3 yrs later, I know he did me the biggest favor by leaving.

MomX04
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:38 PM

I've been with my husband for 21 year now, we have had plenty of ups and downs.  We worked through them all together and it wasn't always easy.  But I know for a fact that the downs make the ups so much better. 

strongerwtime
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2010 at 7:52 PM

I would ask why....then I would share the areas where I too am not happy or discontent in the marriage.  Hopefully we could at least clear the air and THEN decide how to move on... I guess I would hope that our honestly together we could fight a little harder but if he wants out and that's it, then he can get his things and go...I am not leaving my home.

owensmom34
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:25 PM

I would ask for reasons why, I would ask if he's cheating on me, and I would get us in counseling as soon as possible.

MixedCooke
by on Jul. 26, 2010 at 3:02 AM

NOPE--Dont let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

101stwife
by on Jul. 26, 2010 at 3:07 AM

 I would ask why. Then I would ask to go to marriage counseling. I don't believe in just giving up on a marriage. Too many people don't take their vowes seriously. However, if after counseling he still did not believe he was in love with me or happy I would not force him to stay. I would never want to be married to someone who didn't want to be there.

wolfmomma30
by on Jul. 26, 2010 at 5:21 AM


Quoting 101stwife:

 I would ask why. Then I would ask to go to marriage counseling. I don't believe in just giving up on a marriage. Too many people don't take their vowes seriously. However, if after counseling he still did not believe he was in love with me or happy I would not force him to stay. I would never want to be married to someone who didn't want to be there.

I agree on this one.

Sometimes ( i have seen this alot with my Dh and my friends as well) men just need a recap or a fork in the road to help them feel their place in the time line. Does that make sense? Its almost like a midlife crisis. Everything seems so robotic in their everyday life that they need to through a little chaos in just to make them feel human. Maybe the want a little more romance from their wives so they make them feel they need to fight for that love. I am not saying that is the right thing to do but its just a way they choose to see it.

However, whenever someone says that they are unhappy you should seek some type of counseling, even if it is just a mutual friend that will come over and be a mediator. We all hate these situations but atleast trying to be prepared for it makes it go more smoothly.

I hope that you both can work through this and we are always hear if you need someone to lean on :)

Brandi61279
by on Jul. 26, 2010 at 5:24 AM

I think marriage is for the long term.  You don't take vows of better until worse, but for better OR worse.  This is said by a divorced woman, whose ex left her for his best friend's wife who he knocked up.

momofdoo
by on Jul. 26, 2010 at 5:27 AM

Nope, and here is why....

I used to say that counselling would help or you just need to spend more time getting to know each other again and remembering why you fell in love...

But I remember (everyday, as a matter of fact) learning in Sociology that, more often than not, marriages last due to comfort and that's it.  It devastated me to hear that love relaxes and wanes.

At this point, if my hubbie said that to me it would be no question.  FINE.

wink miniMomofDoo

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