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Are you the jealous type?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:32 PM
  • 13 Replies

My mil passed away on the 10th and we had a memoral service for her this weekend since she was cremated. Hubby's best friend from hs was there, a girl he also dated briefly during that time. She's been married 17yrs and has 4 kids, while hubby and I have been married almost 11 with 2 kids. Anyway, I don't have a problem with them hanging out and talking usually, since I don't typically view her as a threat, especially since we only see her once every 3yrs or so. 

This time, however, she said a couple of things that irked me: 1) "If I'd never gotten off your [dh's] fireplace stoop, none of us would be in this position now." That night I know about, hubby told me, as the night he asked her to go steady and she turned him down. She said that to him in front of his dad, his sister, sil's dh, and me. 2) "I didn't go to college. I should've. I should've followed him and then everything would be a whole lot different." Again, with me standing right there while she talked to hubby and sil.

These things had me biting my tongue soooo hard. I wanted to tell her if she's that f'n unhappy, divorce her sorry SOB of a hubby. I wanted to tell her to stfu about the "what ifs" where my hubby was concerned. I wanted to tell her to back the F off because she blew it - he's mine. PERIOD. Instead, I clamped my mouth shut and went to the bedroom to work on my novel. DH came in and I lied, telling him I just wanted to write and felt like I'd been hovering over him all day. He kissed me and went back outside to talk - fil, sil, bil were all out there, too. 2.5 hrs later, she finally left, and I'm left feeling more than jealous about the whole thing. :/

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MomX04
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:35 PM

I think the fact that he came inside to find you says a lot about him.  Let her have her regrets at what she lost, it doesn't sound like he has any.

littleangie
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:42 PM

I agree with MomX04.   You should be proud that you showed a lot more class than she did.  That is why your hubby is with you and not her.   

adah2010
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:43 PM

I don't think this makes you out to be a jealous person-she was out of line and I agree with the PP,that's her problem if she has regrets,not yours!I think your husband's action said a lot for him.Don't let her make you stew!

bamababe1975
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:46 PM

Thanks, guys. I just knew that saying something wouldn't achieve anything other than to let her know she got to me like that. Hubby did come to see me repeatedly, and even encouraged me to come out saying he didn't think I was hovering. I still felt like I couldn't go out there, though, like if I saw her face again before she left, I'd be unable to bite my tongue further. On the upside, I added about 30 pages to my novel, lol. ;)

momof754
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:52 PM

i have to agree with momx04

SalemWitchChild
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:56 PM

I can be. Though I know Dh would never cheat, I don't trust other women to make a pass.

That said, I think you handled it just fine.

Meli7983
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:58 PM

 I think you handled it like a real woman and agree with the other ladies her regrets are her problem and sounds like you have a wonderful hubby because most men let there egos get to them and fall into the convo but he looked for you that says alot...

JenBrooks76
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 7:16 PM

You are right to feel jealous, but probably more sorry for her than anything. Who really needs a pity party for her when you all are at a memorial service. 

bamababe1975
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 7:18 PM

Thanks! I'm feeling much better now about the whole thing. He told me again today I've been his rock through all of this (his mom's cancer and recent passing), and he didn't know what he'd do without me, so I think he's pretty happy to be with me, and not her. ;)

shelibeli
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 7:31 PM

You sound like an awesome woman...let her have her boohoo's and regrets....what is between you and your hubby is what matters, not what she says.  Trust is WITHIN a relationship...outside people don't matter.  My hubby and I have been married for 7 years...he goes out almost every weekend one night and plays in an acoustic duo at bars with my brother....I have never even thought of ever questioning anything about the night besides a totally interested "How'd it go".  I trust him completely.   While my SIL on the other hand, texts my brother a million times a night while he's playing, sends spies to go to the gigs when she can't, and spends the entire next day or 2 accusing him of ridiculous things.  Who do you think is in the happier relationship?  If there is trust between you and hubby....forget her, the fact that you both ignore her little comments is proof enough.  YOU ROCK!!

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