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You don't really know...until it's your family that's affected.

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:18 PM
  • 13 Replies

Reading some news articles here... DH's 2nd cousin was convicted last month of capital murder in Dallas and sentenced to life in prison. We don't know him that well (his grandmother lives here in the same town as us, we see her all the time), probably the last time we saw him was when he was 14 maybe (he's 21 now)?

I'm reading a lot of comments in these articles that he should have gotten the death penalty. I mean, these are the kind of comments I would make myself if it were someone else. But, wow, when it's a family member, it really does make you think.

I think he got what he deserved. I mean he deserves to be punished, and I'm glad he did not get a slap on the wrist. He was wrong to take a life (his girlfriend) and I'd like to know what the hell was running through his mind that made him do that. DH heard he got mixed up with drugs, but we don't know if that's the case or not. It's no excuse of course. I feel so terrible for the girl, her family and her unborn baby (yes, she was 6 weeks pregnant--so if you live in the Dallas area, you might be familiar with the case I'm referring to). But I also feel sorry for his parents (who's dad is DH's cousin), and his grandmother (DH's aunt). Both families lost their children and potential grandchild/great grandchild.

It's all very sad indeed. :(

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NearSeattleMom
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:53 PM

It is sad.

I think even if you just personally know someone who is incarcerated, it changes your viewpoint and gives you a little more compassionate.  I know that's how I felt when someone I knew got sentenced to 10 years.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:55 PM


Quoting NearSeattleMom:

It is sad.

I think even if you just personally know someone who is incarcerated, it changes your viewpoint and gives you a little more compassionate.  I know that's how I felt when someone I knew got sentenced to 10 years.

I completely agree with you.


kjdama
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 8:46 PM

I think also it depends on what thier charges were.  My SIL´s ex tried to kill her by running over her with her car, and recieved 12 years, but got out in 8. He was drunk and on drugs when the incident happened, and he tried to run over my BIL as well as come close to hurting my daughter and niece. I think he should have been put away way longer and not released so soon.

I am a big believer that the punishment should fit the crime. However, I understand that it is not morally acceptable and politically not doable.  Life in prision is the next best thing.

4kidz916
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 8:53 PM

It is very sad for the family.  You're right, he got what he deserved, but his family is suffering too.  My heart goes out to both families of this tragedy.

my4boys2002
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:17 PM

It's very sad I try to stay away from those forums on articles my nephew is in trail now for a murder he didn't commit.

momof754
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:28 PM

bump

ZBandMom
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:17 PM

 I'm on the other side of the fence on this.  My SIL's husband strangled her and their 12 year old son to death and then committed suicide afterwards.  I was glad he killed himself and so was DH's family.  Anybody who kills their innocent family like that doesn't deserve to walk on the face of the Earth as far as I'm concerned.  And if that person decides to take their own life, it saves us taxpayers a hell of a lot of money and saves the family from having to go through all of the pain and greiving again from having to go through a trial.  On the other hand, I kinda wish that he would have had the chance to really sit and think about what he did and why he would do such an awful thing to his family; the only family he really had. The thought alone might have driven him to absolute madness, and to me, that would have been a nice punishment.  

singlemomof2nok
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 9:31 AM

 I agree with you, when it is a family member it really does make you think.  While I was reading your story, it sounded alot like my brother's story.  He is spending life in prison for murdering his girlfriend.  We also believe he was on drugs at the time.  Now he has been in prison for 8 years and does not get to see his only child grow up.  It is truly sad.

vettechmom88
by Member on Sep. 29, 2010 at 10:52 AM


Quoting ZBandMom:

 I'm on the other side of the fence on this.  My SIL's husband strangled her and their 12 year old son to death and then committed suicide afterwards.  I was glad he killed himself and so was DH's family.  Anybody who kills their innocent family like that doesn't deserve to walk on the face of the Earth as far as I'm concerned.  And if that person decides to take their own life, it saves us taxpayers a hell of a lot of money and saves the family from having to go through all of the pain and greiving again from having to go through a trial.  On the other hand, I kinda wish that he would have had the chance to really sit and think about what he did and why he would do such an awful thing to his family; the only family he really had. The thought alone might have driven him to absolute madness, and to me, that would have been a nice punishment.  


yep.

"Never judge a man by how he treats his peers, judge him by how he treats his inferiors." ~ Albus Dumbledore

jsnzmom
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 11:13 AM

I used to think that there should be no mercy for someone who kills someone else, until my cousin killed my uncle.  My cousin had a terrible drug problem, and was tripping on acid at the time of the killing.  He thought my aunt and uncle were trying to kill him, and in his drugged state of mind, he ended up stabbing my uncle to death, and wounding my aunt seriously.  It was senseless and horrible, and sadly, would not have happened if he'd been sober.  He was 19 when it happened, and is now almost 35, and has been in prison for all those years.  He's heartbroken about what happened, but knows he deserves to be punished for it.  He won't be eligible for parole until he's in his 50s.  Such a waste of not one but two lives.  And yes, my aunt has forgiven him and visits him regularly.  It takes a very strong person to forgive the man who killed your husband, even if it is your own son.  Sometimes, there is more to the story than meets the eye, and my cousin's story includes a lot of "if only"s.  It's a tragedy all around.

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