Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you change the rolls/What do to when your done?

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:57 PM
  • 13 Replies

O.K. so once upon a time my husband was a SAHD He has now held the same position for over 2yrs will be 3yrs in April. So no he's not a stay at home dad but I am still the top wage earner in our home. It does not bother us so far as status etc. but the problem now is I want out of my job I want to get back to being a  working mom still yes but more of a mom. I want to work closer to home. less, hours, etc. and I don't care about daily grind I'm not some career chasing person to me it's just a job.But hubby contends I would put us in financial disarray well selfish maybe but how long is one to be unhappy for the sake of others. At what point do we bite the bullet and make changes for me if not work part time at least work closer to home and shift to what that means lower income wise. I don't want to be this top wage earner.

Click our bear and join us help bring a beary bright smile to a cafemom kid this Christmas.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:57 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
momof754
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:04 PM
I am the top wage earner in my house and the way that i have found to get more home time is by going back to college.once done i will be able to work 3 days a week instead of 5.good luck on your situation.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tiffannij
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:09 PM
I know it seems selfish but y'all are use to a certain kind of life style an if u quit things will change in your household. It looks like either way someone is going to be unhappy in your marriage. Try to find a way where u can work closer to home.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
j45505
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:11 PM

 

Quoting momof754:

I am the top wage earner in my house and the way that i have found to get more home time is by going back to college.once done i will be able to work 3 days a week instead of 5.good luck on your situation.

 Maybe sad but I don't think my mental state and stamina could pull this off especially with my schedule. If not for my schedule I would do this though.

anetrnlov
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:12 PM

Show him where you can cut back, if there are places to cut back....if there are not then I would say you will have to keep at the job until you are in a financial position to afford for you to work less.

j45505
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:13 PM

 

Quoting tiffannij:

I know it seems selfish but y'all are use to a certain kind of life style an if u quit things will change in your household. It looks like either way someone is going to be unhappy in your marriage. Try to find a way where u can work closer to home.

 That's what I'm shooting for, I would still work 40hrs a week, but right now most things closer to home are a huge pay cut. :(

sneezy
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:21 PM

you aren't going to get a chance to be with your kids again.  the time goes fast and you don't want to regret something you can't change.  bills can be paid later...the kids will be grown and you can't get that back.  do what you need to do girl.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Sep. 28, 2010 at 8:11 PM

I took the lower paying job 7 years ago so I could be with my kids more, closer to home and have the summer and other school breaks off with my kids instead of having to pay for a sitter while I worked. I am also the one who has health insurance for our family. At the time my husband was not in the position at work that he has now (which pays way more). It was a struggle at first since we didn't have the disposable income that we had when I worked at the higher paying job, I also found out I was expecting our third child shortly after starting in the new position. It has all worked out though. It is kind of sad too because I am just now making the wages I was making at my old job seven years ago but the time I've had with my kids has more than made up for the money.

j45505
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 8:52 PM

 

Quoting sneezy:

you aren't going to get a chance to be with your kids again.  the time goes fast and you don't want to regret something you can't change.  bills can be paid later...the kids will be grown and you can't get that back.  do what you need to do girl.

 My kids are 15 she will be 16 in Mar and my younger two are 8 and 22mo I just feel my value with them out weighs the dollars I don't want their quality of life to suffer but on the other hand what quality is that when your raised between the school and the sitter and mom and dad both are only home 3hrs a day and the weekends?

j45505
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 8:54 PM

 

Quoting mumsy2three:

I took the lower paying job 7 years ago so I could be with my kids more, closer to home and have the summer and other school breaks off with my kids instead of having to pay for a sitter while I worked. I am also the one who has health insurance for our family. At the time my husband was not in the position at work that he has now (which pays way more). It was a struggle at first since we didn't have the disposable income that we had when I worked at the higher paying job, I also found out I was expecting our third child shortly after starting in the new position. It has all worked out though. It is kind of sad too because I am just now making the wages I was making at my old job seven years ago but the time I've had with my kids has more than made up for the money.

 Thanks your story is encouraging. It's just such a tough call. I know if my pay cut is too low it could mean us going back to maybe receiving some assistance and I wonder is that fair or right?

Charmed7up
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 8:31 AM

My husband is SAHD right now and I'm encouraging him to go to college so we could possible switch roles later. I think if you sit down and look at your finances, and what it will take to do it, there's got to be a compromise somewhere. It's not like you're asking DH to do this next week. Just try to find a way so everyone is comfortable. I also find that you adjust to your income. We've gone without cable and cell phones when times are rough. You make due. In the end, family is what is important, not the paycheck. Good luck!

C7

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)