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What Would You Do?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 12:04 AM
  • 11 Replies

I wanted to get a general idea of what other people my age would do in situation I found myself in earlier today...

Let's start with the base level here... my husband took my son to Urgent Care yesterday, and my son has the flu and a double ear infection.  He wasn't fever free until late this afternoon.  Also yesterday afternoon I get a call from the Assistant Principal at the school notifying me that my daughter had been suspended from the bus for one day (because 1. She cussed on the bus, 2. she was hitting another student (though both 'claim' to have been playing around...3.  This was the third time she has gotten written up on the bus)..but I know full well... if she has another write up, she could lose bus priviledges for much longer or permanent the rest of the school year.

So basically as a consequence we not only grounded her for the weekend she also has to write out what responsiblity is (since she also would not accept responsibility for what she did)...

Usually on that level it wouldn't be a big deal...but after all this happens yesterday afternoon, my sister (I have 2 younger sisters--my middle sister is preggo) back to that... my sister had a status message up : "Life is so Unfair" and when I read that I immediately called her to see what was going on thinking the worst in reference to her pregnancy.

She tells me that the doctors highly suspect that the baby may have dwarfism.. and they seem to be fairly sure of it and my sister is seeing an specialist on Tuesday... but anyways..

So today there was a birthday party for 2 of my nephews (of my youngest sister)...and my mom had decided to throw a small baby shower for my middle sister... but this was in the plans before we were hit with the above bombshell.

I was late ... I tend to always run late getting to my mom and dad's... by the time I got my booty in the house there (having left my kids at home with my husband)...Immediately the atmosphere in the air hit me like a sack of bricks... it was a strong sense of somberness.

I could tell my sister (preggo) had been crying... I ask my youngest sister where to put the baby's gift... she was basically like don't bother... it didn't go over well...

Within a half hour, my youngest sister had torn down all the hanging baby shower decs.  And here's my dilema #1:

  • If you were planning on throwing a baby shower for a sister or close family member or friend and you were planning it to be a surprise and the parents to be were all of a sudden slammed with some hard news about their baby's health (and although I realize dwarfism can be minor but that's not the big point is it?  Anyways... would you continue on with it being a surprise for the mom to be... or would you go ahead and spill the beans and find out if she's up to it at that time.

Me... personally... I feel like Mom or my youngest sister should have asked my preggo sister if she were up for a baby shower... ya know.

Anyways... since it was a duo party...or... triple party (the baby shower and then a joint party for my now 3 year old and now 9 year old nephews)

And I stayed for cake, presents and ice cream (though I did not partake of  either the cake or the ice cream--I'm doing the Nutrisystem diet and am fully intending on not cheating the diet one tiny bit.

Anyways... my dad is a type II diabetic... he checked his blood sugar when my mom set up meat trays with cookies, crackers, etc....and his glucometer read 136 for his blood sugar so he starts bitchin that there's nothing in the kitchen set out for him to eat, mom points out that she did set out lunch meat.. he had a bite or two of that.. we are all sorta hanging out on the screened porch...

Then for some unknown reason, my dad checked his blood sugar again (roughly a half hour later) and it was 36... yes you read that number right...

And he's bitching .. again (excuse my language)... he is going on and on about how he doesn't understand why his body does this to him, blah blah blah... it was really starting to tick me off... then my pregnant sister gets up and goes to the guest room and shuts herself in...

And I just wanted to smack my dad upside the head to knock some sense into him.. if he would eat some complex carbs or even 'good' carbs (which in his mind ... there are no "good carbs" and that "Carbs are his enemy"

I was livid about it really and I could tell my pregnant sister was emotionally very upset even though she said she was just tired... I have used that many.. many times when I have been depressed, I have said the very same thing.

Then I told her if she needed to talk.. my ears were available. 

But.. I sit down in the den area and still hear my father bitching about his blood sugar....

So I made a decision based on that... see with my son getting sick, my daughter getting suspended off the bus, this news about my nephew-to-be possibly having Achondroplasia. 

But not just that... I also was getting a migraine at the same time and knew if it were to reach full blown status... I would be shit out of luck since I was at the party by myself without kids or my husband to help.

So I snuck my way out the front door... got in the car, sat there for a minute.. nobody came outside to see if I was okay or what not....Called my husband.. he could tell I was very upset...

And he backed my decision to leave and head home.

No I didn't tell anyone I was leaving but I am 30 years old and didn't want to make a scene by explaining my reasons for leaving (My father isn't exactly rational when it comes to things surrounding his blood sugar--he won't listen to anyone)

So I started the car and left..

Then no communication from anyone all evening... and then my mom comments on my thread.."you could have said you were leaving geesh.. I wouldn't do that to you. Makes ppl WORRy about what they did."

And she is right about one thing there... she wouldn't do that to me because in the nearly 1 year that we've lived within 20 or less minutes of them.. they've only really visited... twice if that.  And those were not social calls (Nope... 3 times... my son's birthday party... my husband working on my dad and mom's buick...and...I thought there were 3...see I can't even remember....

So yeah she is right, she wouldn't do that to me because.. she is never over here.

But would you have stayed and just grinned and bear it like you do every time you are over visiting (because at least you aren't by yourself---what can I say... my husband is my anchor.)

And see.. I could easily have explained myself after things settled..but now everyone's in a tissy over my leaving.

But I knew I was on the verge of saying something that I truly would regret later....and I was near tears...seeing my sister hurting and I did extend myself to try to help her through the muck and myre.

But also... hearing my dad saying his blood sugar was 36... WAY too low...

I mean would you handle it similarly.  I mean I don't know... the only thing I knew... was that... I absolutely had to get home...I had had enough and was overwhelmed.... that's why I left abruptly and quickly.

Now I think everyone is angry with me... simple frown

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 12:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 1:50 AM

 Sounds like everyone is just overly stressed. I think if you stayed fo rthe majority of the party and you were getting stressed you had the right to leave. If you didnt feel like saying anything then owell, it is your right. But thats just me.  Good Luck I have no real advise but to be there for your sister when she needs the shoulder!

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 4:28 AM
Im sorry u had such a crappy day.hugs and i would have done the same thing since it would not helped anyone if you blew up at them. I think byou were right in getting ur space and clearing your head. Hugs and prayers for you n your family.
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by Lisa on Feb. 20, 2011 at 4:30 AM
I'm sorry. I would have said I needed to get home to my sick kid because they didn't need anything else to deal with
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by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 11:35 AM

thank you

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 11:42 AM

Think of it this way...You gave them all something to think about other than your sister and your father. Now they can be upset at you! You did them all a favor!

Just smile to yourself and don't worry about it.

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 11:42 AM

they will get over it.

Hugs to you.

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 12:00 PM

I'm a problem solver so I would have done things differently but that's just me.  

And yes I would have spilled the beans to your younger sister about the shower and asked if she was up to it or just rescheduled it until after they had some results from Tuesdays's appointment.  

I would have announced I had a migraine and was leaving, everyone knows I suffer from very bad migraines and have a short time from when they hit until I can get home so it would have been an easy out.

by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 5:55 PM

I think in the aspect of announcing my migraine and saying I had to leave might ahve been probable that the ensuing drama of today would not have ocurred.  Where my  youngest sis went balls out on me.



Oh well though.


You win some, you lose some.  At the time I felt that jsut leaving was better than starting any fights.

by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 6:05 PM
Wow!! Talk about being overwhelmed!! I say have a good cry and give it a few days. Good luck!
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 9:58 AM

 I really don't blame you for leaving

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