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How to know if he's just a hookup

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 5:22 AM
  • 11 Replies

How to know if he's just a hookup

BOYFRIEND, OR JUST FRIEND?

  • Posted on Feb 10, 2011 7:18 AM by Tristan Coopersmith:


HE MIGHT BE JUST A HOOKUP IF...

1The only item of yours at his house is a toothbrush.

Boyfriends let girlfriends leave extra panties, a razor, cell phone charger and nonfat milk (at the very least) for frequent overnight visits. The common booty call, however, entails just the toothbrush -- required for pre-hookup breath freshening.

2Sex is a part of EVERY hangout session.

If you've never not had sex with said guy and you've hung out together more than a dozen times, either you are a sexually electric couple, or the foundation of this relationship is sex -- which is code for a hookup relationship, not a boyfriend/girlfriend one. 

3Every time you "go out," you never actually go anywhere.

Couples have dates outside of the house, or at the very least, outside of the bed. Hookup couples, however, never see the light of day. They rely on ordering Chinese takeout and watching bad pay-per-view on occasion, but more often than not, "dates" are merely a quick ice breaking at-home cocktail followed by a wild romp in the sack.

4He texts all the time in your presence.

A guy who actually like you -- who wants to be present in your presence -- can ignore his phones when he's with you. The guy who's in it for the nookie cares less about your feelings and more about his potentially missed texts, calls, FB messages and BBMs. If you or a guy roll over after "the deed" is done into the arms of an iPhone, chances are good that you're just a booty call.

5your friends haven't met his.

Friend exchanges are at an intimacy level that a hookup relationship cannot bear, because the casualty level is too great. Because the hookup relationship has no longevity, a friendship investment is awkward and wasteful. Meaningful relationships can take the risk of friendship exchanges, and there are mutual benefits to doing so. No friend intros = no relationship.

6He doesn't give you a gift on holidays.

Your birthday passed, then Christmas, then Valentine's Day… and he sent no card, no gifts, no text acknowledgement. These are all clear signs that this hookup doesn't want to invest financially or emotionally in this relationship. The upside: You don't have to reciprocate, which means more cash in your shoe budget.

7You only see each other on weekdays, or if on weekends, after last call.

Couples balance time spent between weekdays and weekends. Those in a booty call scenario, however, typically reserve their hookup sessions for weekdays so they can save precious weekend nights for actual meaningful dates, or the potential for a new hookup. When those don't pan out, come last call, texts go flying out in an attempt for some late-night loving. 

8The most intimate thing you know about him is his middle name.

And you only know that because you saw it on his mail. The point here is that, for booty call partners, the relationship is based on sex, so exchange of personal information is superfluous. Within a couple, however, getting to know each other is a form of foreplay. The less you know, the less likely it is you are in a relationship.

9"Plans" are never made in advance.

The players in a hookup situation don't make "plans" ahead of time because their goals are to fulfill a sexual need or to use the hookup partner as a fill in. True couples, however, enjoy making plans; they buy tickets for a concert a month out and make reservations for a restaurant days before the date.

10You get thanked after sex.

A sexual transaction (as opposed to an emotional connection) is typically marked by immediate post-doing-it comments such as, "thank you," "goodnight" or "see you next time." They're deflating, and moreover, they are clear indicators that your relationship is nothing but -- and will be nothing more -- than a hookup.

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 5:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sweetsurprise13
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 5:29 AM

i pretty much figured these out before reading.  These applied to my "friends" in college. lol

FreeSpriT4eva
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 5:35 AM
This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..
hush u when someone calls his phone..
doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..
u have on his cell#..
u know really nothing about him..
he doesn't want to ever give u monie..
never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel
Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sweetsurprise13
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 5:36 AM

totally true.

Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..
hush u when someone calls his phone..
doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..
u have on his cell#..
u know really nothing about him..
he doesn't want to ever give u monie..
never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel
Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..


FreeSpriT4eva
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 6:00 AM
I gathered these few tidbits watching an listening to both my sister deal with guys an dating..so I compiled the things u posted plus what I noticed..so whenever they mention a guy after a few weeks I make sure they check this list..to see if he fits this profile..


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

totally true.


Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..

hush u when someone calls his phone..

doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..

u have on his cell#..

u know really nothing about him..

he doesn't want to ever give u monie..

never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel

Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sweetsurprise13
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 6:02 AM

 I would def do this especially since these days guys don't "date". They think a date means meeting in a public place and then going and hooking up. lol That is not a date!

Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

I gathered these few tidbits watching an listening to both my sister deal with guys an dating..so I compiled the things u posted plus what I noticed..so whenever they mention a guy after a few weeks I make sure they check this list..to see if he fits this profile..


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

totally true.


Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..

hush u when someone calls his phone..

doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..

u have on his cell#..

u know really nothing about him..

he doesn't want to ever give u monie..

never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel

Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..




FreeSpriT4eva
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 6:04 AM
Exactly..they usually don't want to do public places out of fear of bein caught or seen..


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

 I would def do this especially since these days guys don't "date". They think a date means meeting in a public place and then going and hooking up. lol That is not a date!


Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

I gathered these few tidbits watching an listening to both my sister deal with guys an dating..so I compiled the things u posted plus what I noticed..so whenever they mention a guy after a few weeks I make sure they check this list..to see if he fits this profile..





Quoting sweetsurprise13:

totally true.



Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..


hush u when someone calls his phone..


doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..


u have on his cell#..


u know really nothing about him..


he doesn't want to ever give u monie..


never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel


Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sweetsurprise13
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 6:07 AM

yep they are so icky.  lol  guys are icky and now I think I have reverted back to my 5 year old mentality of boys being icky. :-)

Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

Exactly..they usually don't want to do public places out of fear of bein caught or seen..


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

 I would def do this especially since these days guys don't "date". They think a date means meeting in a public place and then going and hooking up. lol That is not a date!


Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

I gathered these few tidbits watching an listening to both my sister deal with guys an dating..so I compiled the things u posted plus what I noticed..so whenever they mention a guy after a few weeks I make sure they check this list..to see if he fits this profile..





Quoting sweetsurprise13:

totally true.



Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..


hush u when someone calls his phone..


doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..


u have on his cell#..


u know really nothing about him..


he doesn't want to ever give u monie..


never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel


Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..







FreeSpriT4eva
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 6:11 AM
Lol..haven't heard that since I was young in the 8o's..lol..I just be think ughhh..lol


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

yep they are so icky.  lol  guys are icky and now I think I have reverted back to my 5 year old mentality of boys being icky. :-)


Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

Exactly..they usually don't want to do public places out of fear of bein caught or seen..





Quoting sweetsurprise13:

 I would def do this especially since these days guys don't "date". They think a date means meeting in a public place and then going and hooking up. lol That is not a date!



Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

I gathered these few tidbits watching an listening to both my sister deal with guys an dating..so I compiled the things u posted plus what I noticed..so whenever they mention a guy after a few weeks I make sure they check this list..to see if he fits this profile..








Quoting sweetsurprise13:

totally true.




Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..



hush u when someone calls his phone..



doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..



u have on his cell#..



u know really nothing about him..



he doesn't want to ever give u monie..



never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel



Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..










Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sweetsurprise13
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 6:12 AM

lol.  yea I know.  ugggggggggggggghhhhhhh sounds good too. 

Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

Lol..haven't heard that since I was young in the 8o's..lol..I just be think ughhh..lol


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

yep they are so icky.  lol  guys are icky and now I think I have reverted back to my 5 year old mentality of boys being icky. :-)


Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

Exactly..they usually don't want to do public places out of fear of bein caught or seen..





Quoting sweetsurprise13:

 I would def do this especially since these days guys don't "date". They think a date means meeting in a public place and then going and hooking up. lol That is not a date!



Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

I gathered these few tidbits watching an listening to both my sister deal with guys an dating..so I compiled the things u posted plus what I noticed..so whenever they mention a guy after a few weeks I make sure they check this list..to see if he fits this profile..








Quoting sweetsurprise13:

totally true.




Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..



hush u when someone calls his phone..



doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..



u have on his cell#..



u know really nothing about him..



he doesn't want to ever give u monie..



never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel



Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..











Lisasmommy
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:07 AM


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

 I would def do this especially since these days guys don't "date". They think a date means meeting in a public place and then going and hooking up. lol That is not a date!

Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

I gathered these few tidbits watching an listening to both my sister deal with guys an dating..so I compiled the things u posted plus what I noticed..so whenever they mention a guy after a few weeks I make sure they check this list..to see if he fits this profile..


Quoting sweetsurprise13:

totally true.


Quoting FreeSpriT4eva:

This is called Jump Off status..also if he never calls u by your name..

hush u when someone calls his phone..

doesn't mention u meeting his mom or kids..

u have on his cell#..

u know really nothing about him..

he doesn't want to ever give u monie..

never takes u to his place..mainly car sex or hotel

Whenever u mention relationship he skips the subject..

 


 

So true. Sad thing is girls are starting to believe this is normal! My friend's neice is dating and thinks sex is a date! And she wonders why she can't get a real boyfriend. Need to have a sit down with that girl.

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