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Stuck in a Rut- how to get myself back into the world?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 8:27 PM
  • 6 Replies
I am new to this post, and I just happened upon this site by accident. What brought me here was that I was doing some research on finding a best place to relocate with my 5 year old daughter. I have been miserable living in this town for the past 3 years. We moved here so we can be closer to my parents, and I knew that this place was a good starting point for me to build my career and build equity so I can provide a good life for my daughter. And now, I have not been able to make friends and have not dated for 6 years. The social atmosphere of my town is not quite so inviting and social- to put in a nice way. I have tried very hard to be content with this situation, but I am getting more frustrated and lost a lot of self confidence. I don't want to be the kind of mother who has lost zest for life, although I feel like I have a bit. I don't know how to connect with people anymore. It is just work and taking care of my beautiful little girl, which is a blessing. I know that I am going to have to take chances at some point, and I feel ready to do so. I just don't know where to go from here. Anyone here who feel the same way as I do? If so, tell me your story. I would love to hear it. Thanks all! :)
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 8:27 PM
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Replies (1-6):
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 10:30 PM

 welcome to cafemom

Have you thought about where you would like to relocate?

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 10:34 PM

Welcome to the group!  I've been living in the same state for 15 years...WI and I wish we could relocate to a warmer climate.  We have family here but we are closest with my parents.  They are getting older and don't want to do as much.  I feel like now is the time to move if we are going to make that big of a change but it's a tough decision. 

I know my story is different than yours but I still feel stuck.  Is that how you are feeling?

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 10:43 PM

I think I know what you are going through... I grew up in a town with my mother that just kept getting worse and worse.. but I also grew up in a town down south with my father that I loved.. but I could not stay there because it wasn't ''home''.. I wound up coming back up north.. had two amazing boys as a single mom.. then I met my now husband who is from an area about an hour from where I grew up in Pa.. I could not wait to get out of where I am from!!!!! So we moved... I got pregnant with our daughter immediately so I was not out and about much at all being sick with her.  The times I did get out, I loved it here... I still do but there is never a day where I do not think of going back down south or moving  far out of Pa!!! This is my ''home'' which I think makes it more tough for me to say goodbye to it..   Now I feel like I am stuck here forever.. I hate feeling like that! hate it!! Even though where I am now is not that bad.. it is still not what I really wanted for my family and I..Please don't do that to you and your daughter!! My advice to you is this.. as silly as it may sound.. follow your heart... do whatever it is you want! go anywhere you want!! Your daughter is young.. I am sure she will adapt well.. just make sure wherever you do go, that it is kid friendly!!! There are only like 3 other kids in our neighborhood which totally stinks!!  I also understand your feelings about meeting new people.. I am having the same issue!  I wish there were something I could tell you about that but I can't... I really have a hard time in this department.. I am open to meeting new people! I think that sometimes, I get looked down on because I am so much younger that the moms I know.. Anyhow.... If you ever just want to vent.. or talk.. I am here!!! =) 

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 10:55 PM
Welcome to the group.
I moved 5 yrs ago. It's hard but I adjusted for the most part.
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by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 1:42 AM

Eh, I feel the same way!  I am married though but still kind of feel alone.  I expected more of myself and physically have gained weight even before having 2 kids.  I just wanted more for myself by this age.  I socially feel like a hermit because I am sooo tired all of the time 9I work nights).

by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 8:02 AM

Welcome to the group. You will find many great friends here. Glad to have you.

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