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A womans dictionary

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:45 PM
  • 5 Replies

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:45 PM
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Replies (1-5):
kyledavidsmom
by Tara on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:52 PM

 Love these

hopemommy2
by Paula on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:52 PM
Love it..
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Dannille33
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:30 PM
Very nice!
Loved it.
Thanks for sharing Sheri:)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
owensmom34
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:58 PM

too funny...I'll have to pass this along to my husband.  :)

sheri305
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 9:30 AM


Quoting Dannille33:

Very nice!
Loved it.
Thanks for sharing Sheri:)


Welcome

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