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adoption input....plzz

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:13 PM
  • 12 Replies

we are looking to start adoption info regarding my daughter(13) being adopted by my husband. . we live in tx. birth father lives in Ca. he has no connection like name on birth cert or anything like that. we did do a dna test so thats the proof.  he pays some child support every month, with verbal agreement (so i dont take him to court). he does not 'pursue' a relationship with dd.

wondering if anyone has info as to where and who i should contact to start process? i knw i will need to have birth father sign document giving up rights (not seeing a prob there) ... i am trying to decide if i should just write a letter and send it with form or actually call him first. thoughts on that?

  i really have zero idea who to call or where to go.... all info appreicated. thanks in advance

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
grneyedormom
by Kendra on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:18 PM
Contact an attorney who handles adoptions and find out what steps you need to take. My cousin, when she wanted to have her hubby adopt her daughter, had specific things she needed to do in order to find the biological father of her daughter before her hubby could legally adopt her daughter.
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AFWifey20
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:20 PM

thanks much. i honestly hadnt thought of that. i was just focused on GOOGLE and seeing what i could find myself. lol dang internet.

grneyedormom
by Kendra on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:25 PM

You're welcome, there may be a few additional steps you need to take since you know where he is and he pays child support. Her biological father was no where to be found. I remember she had to place a personal ad in all of the major newspapers in their city (Denver/Metro) area for a certain amount of time in an attempt to find him and long story short if he didn't respond then his rights were possibly terminated and her hubby was able to adopt, but I don't know the whole story. Good luck, remember, first consultation is usually free.

Awranne
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:43 PM
Def contact an attorney. Or, you may even be able to get info on how to proceed at probate/family court.

I assume you're aware that if DH adopts, then you will no longer receive child support from bio dad. Hopefully that's not an issue.
AFWifey20
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:51 PM


Quoting Awranne:

Def contact an attorney. Or, you may even be able to get info on how to proceed at probate/family court.

I assume you're aware that if DH adopts, then you will no longer receive child support from bio dad. Hopefully that's not an issue.

good idea.

&& yea, honestly thats probably why bio will sign. mind you its $150 on verbal agreement. but he would rather have it for himself and his son/buddy

MaddiesMom1108
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:52 PM

I am on the other side of this... my dh didn't know his previous gf was pregnant and he had moved to florida and started a relationship with me.  She told him way later on and since we were getting married and not living in the same state he just left the mom alone since that is what she wanted.  She must have applied for state assistance so there is a court order for him to pay child support which he does but not the dd is 5 and she is tired of worrying about my dh coming around since we now live in the same state and has asked him to sign his rights away which he is willing to do since we have 2 little ones of our own now and she is married and her dh is a father to the little girl.  In any case we contacted an attorney to sign the rights away and they told us that she must contact an attorney first to start the adoption process which they will then send something to my husband to sign to relinquish his rights.  It is called relinquishment but there must be an adoption.  As long as your dh is adopting your daughter and the father is willing to sign away rights there will be no problems - it takes 2 -3 months and it costs $3,000 - $4,000.  The father will not have to pay any child support any longer.  We live in Texas too - hope this helps - look for a family law attorney that handles adoptions - good luck!!

AFWifey20
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:59 PM


Quoting MaddiesMom1108:

I am on the other side of this... my dh didn't know his previous gf was pregnant and he had moved to florida and started a relationship with me.  She told him way later on and since we were getting married and not living in the same state he just left the mom alone since that is what she wanted.  She must have applied for state assistance so there is a court order for him to pay child support which he does but not the dd is 5 and she is tired of worrying about my dh coming around since we now live in the same state and has asked him to sign his rights away which he is willing to do since we have 2 little ones of our own now and she is married and her dh is a father to the little girl.  In any case we contacted an attorney to sign the rights away and they told us that she must contact an attorney first to start the adoption process which they will then send something to my husband to sign to relinquish his rights.  It is called relinquishment but there must be an adoption.  As long as your dh is adopting your daughter and the father is willing to sign away rights there will be no problems - it takes 2 -3 months and it costs $3,000 - $4,000.  The father will not have to pay any child support any longer.  We live in Texas too - hope this helps - look for a family law attorney that handles adoptions - good luck!!


the beginning of your story sounds sorta like mine did when i found out i was preggers with dd. then when she was like 6mos old bio came to my house and asked me if i wanted him to sign docs bc he wasnt 'wanting' another child. ugh. i was abt to get married and told him to basically go away. maybe i shoulda thought it thru then more..opps

AmyG1976
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:18 PM

 i would not consider doing this without an atty. I would have one send him a letter to sign to sign away his rights and end cs payments

jenmatt451
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:38 PM

I am also in Texas and when I divorced my son's father (after we had been seperated for 6 years); I asked my lawyer about having my boyfriend at the time (soon after the divorce, we married) adopt my son.  He said Texas is strict on this.  He would need to sign away his rights and my current husband would need to adopt him all in the same proceedings.  He said the judges frown on allowing a parent to give up their rights without someone ready and willing to fulfill the 2nd parent role.  We have never done it though.  At the time, all I wanted was the divorce so I could be free to remarry.  My current husband is the only father my son has ever known though; and that's good enough for us right now.  If my ex ever got a wild hair and wanted to pursue full custody or something, we would fight it and ask that his rights be terminated.  But, for now it works as it is.  Good luck to you!

Bean1980
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 5:58 AM
Going thru the same thing here. We got a lawyer and now we are waiting to see if the bio dad fights it. He hasn't been in my ds life since 2008 and has never paid child support. My dh is the only dad he has known.

Get a family law attorney and they will do all the work.
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