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how do you handle a teen that is not obeying you and argues with you all the time???

Posted by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 6:01 PM
  • 37 Replies

 

by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 6:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sheri305
by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 6:07 PM
Sit down with them and try to get in their head,or get counseling,because 9 out of 10,it is some deeper issue going on that is causing them to behave like that.
friendlymom5
by Member on Mar. 20, 2011 at 6:18 PM
My daughter went for a "break" to her dads and refuses to come home. He isn't being a dad he is being her friend right down to badmouthing me and cursing me out if they see me. It breaks my heart. I wish I had never agreed on the 1 day break, she hates me now and ita been six months.
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mumsy2three
by Shauna on Mar. 20, 2011 at 6:47 PM

Thankfully I don't have a teen like that. If I did she would have very little freedom. 

Orange7
by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 6:59 PM
I know it is hard, but DON'T!!!!!!
When you are NOT in a conflict sit down and tell them that you will only say things once. They can either obey or start loosing privileges if they argue. Have the conversation and the consequence laid out before you have a conflict. Then here is the key STICK TO IT.
Lisa0626
by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 7:08 PM

Oddly enough a teenager is in a bad position in society. They are growing into an identity of their own as a pre-adult, yet they are still too young to have any adult perks. This frustrates them so much. And most commonly they rebel. Which is what her behavior is about. I agree, that if there is an underlined issue you may know of, then I would say, go to a family counseling. You can not get through an issue with just one member of the family, the whole family matters. Try and talk with her. Let her know that her behavior is not acceptable, but see how you both can come to some common ground. Good luck.

catsmom1993
by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 7:34 PM

I have not truly run into the disobeying piece, thank goodness.  The desire for dd to argue however, is constant.  I have gotten to where I will tell her, until you will talk to me in a reasonable, regular voice and listen to my point of view, I will not talk to you.  She wants to fight, but when I refuse to be a willing partner, it does not continue.  Nearly every time, she will go to her room (mad of course) and come back between half hour to an hour later ready to talk.  At that point, we can get to the bottom of what the real problem is.   Just like everyone else says, it is usually something else going on and we avoid a yelling match.

Andl2ea
by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 7:34 PM
Lock them in the basement? Lol. Id like to know this to. I have a 12yr old that is constantly lying and getting into trouble. phone calls from school are common. He also lied about staying at one friends house and stayed at another. I was furious. No matter what I do nothing works.
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Andl2ea
by on Mar. 20, 2011 at 7:39 PM
Im so sorry! Hopefully she will see soon the grass isnt always greener on the other side and she will come back soon. ((hugs))

Quoting friendlymom5:

My daughter went for a "break" to her dads and refuses to come home. He isn't being a dad he is being her friend right down to badmouthing me and cursing me out if they see me. It breaks my heart. I wish I had never agreed on the 1 day break, she hates me now and ita been six months.
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sdgd21
by Diana on Mar. 20, 2011 at 8:14 PM
why argue. Make a list of crimes and punishments and then what will happen if broken. Then if a child breaks the "law" they are punished. This is how the real world works. Also give a reward systems as well. When people to really great things they are also rewarded.
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TableforSeven
by Judy on Mar. 20, 2011 at 8:26 PM

Make sure the family rules are clear and consistent.
If they keep disobeying - take away priviliges that they can only earn back over time....and take them away again immediately if the bad behavior restarts.

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