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my ex is trying to get custody...

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:05 AM
  • 35 Replies

 I have three daughters, my oldest isn't my ex's biological daughter.  My current husband is in the Marine Corp and wants us to move out where he is stationed.  When I spoke to my ex about this he flipped out and ran to his lawyer saying that I was moving in two weeks to CA.  Now according to the divorce papers I legally cannot take my two youngest children out of the state of MI.  At no point did I tell my ex I was moving anytime soon, that I needed his permission to leave anyways.  He tells the lawyer I am a flight risk.  The lawyer goes to the judge and he signs a paper giving my ex enough parenting time that if friend of the court wanted to they could change the custodial parent to him instead of me. 

Here is the kicker, my ex is disabled and cannot live on his own.  He lives with his parents.  He is an insulan depentant type I diabetic with all the issues that comes with the disease.  Currently on dialysis due to kidney failure, he is so weak he can barely walk up steps.  He is taking me to court to get custody of the girls taken from me and given to him.  He doesn't pay child support because he is disabled although he does pay for his son.  He cannot take care of himself most of the time, he has fallen and broken bones at least three times in the past year. 

My lawyer says that it is a good possibility that he will win and get custody of my two younger girls because my current husband is in the military and will likely be moving several times.

Here is my question, how can a man that cannot take care of himself take care of two small girls?  How can the courts split the sisters up, they will be taking my youngest girls from their older sister.  How can the courts say it is ok for them to go back on medicaid and food stamps?  How can the courts say that a single parent home is better then a two parent home?  My husband supports all three of my girls, he supplies them with health insurance.  He is a healthy and involved parent to my girls.  But we are the unstable home?  none of this makes any sense to me.

marines

by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sweetsurprise13
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:27 AM

omg.  it sounds like you should get another lawyer because that makes no sense to me and it sounds like he might not be doing his job. prayers for you and your girls.

Kauna
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 6:58 AM

I agree.  Most states are pro-mother, unless there is a history of abuse or neglect, when it comes to primary custody.  I would find another lawyer. 

Quoting sweetsurprise13:

omg.  it sounds like you should get another lawyer because that makes no sense to me and it sounds like he might not be doing his job. prayers for you and your girls.


mrswillie
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:04 AM


Quoting Kauna:

I agree.  Most states are pro-mother, unless there is a history of abuse or neglect, when it comes to primary custody.  I would find another lawyer. 

Quoting sweetsurprise13:

omg.  it sounds like you should get another lawyer because that makes no sense to me and it sounds like he might not be doing his job. prayers for you and your girls.

 

I will agree with tis also.  That just sounds crazy.  Get a different lawyer.

singlemomof2nok
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:13 AM

 I would definitely get a different lawyer, that one doesn't sound like he is looking after your best interests

mom5160
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:31 AM

I agree but you never know about the courts.

Quoting singlemomof2nok:

 I would definitely get a different lawyer, that one doesn't sound like he is looking after your best interests


my3littleboys
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:35 AM
Yep I'm gonna have to go with the crowd and say get a new lawyer! My state is promother....do you know what your state is?
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HeathersRich
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:50 AM

Sorry momma. I know things seem real hard now and unfortunetly they are about to get worse for a little while. Hang in there. I went through this almost 2 years ago. My Ex was a weekend buddy and did at the time pay support. He tried to take full custody but obviously that didn't work. Yes, first thing you need to get a new Lawyer. In order to get your children removed from the state which unfortunetly isn't an easy task you need a top lawyer, Then you need to keep your cool and start wrtting down every little dumb thing yor ex does and any visits he skips. Do not keep him from them becasue as you might want to and I've been there it will look bad in court. Also make sure the court and your lawyer knows that you will not leave the state unless your kids are able to go and that you will make a reasonable visitation schedule and send them back to visit their father. How often does he see the girls? I was able to move with hubby for work (not military) from IL to Texas. However it was a hard battle but one that can be won. Stay strong and if you want to talk i'm here.

sheri305
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:52 AM


Quoting mrswillie:

 

Quoting Kauna:

I agree.  Most states are pro-mother, unless there is a history of abuse or neglect, when it comes to primary custody.  I would find another lawyer. 

Quoting sweetsurprise13:

omg.  it sounds like you should get another lawyer because that makes no sense to me and it sounds like he might not be doing his job. prayers for you and your girls.

 

I will agree with tis also.  That just sounds crazy.  Get a different lawyer.

Best Wishes.

eatyourveges
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:54 AM

This, and what a dick.  I hope everything works out for you momma!

Quoting Kauna:

I agree.  Most states are pro-mother, unless there is a history of abuse or neglect, when it comes to primary custody.  I would find another lawyer. 

Quoting sweetsurprise13:

omg.  it sounds like you should get another lawyer because that makes no sense to me and it sounds like he might not be doing his job. prayers for you and your girls.



kimleah
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 10:59 PM

 New lawyer is in the works, unfortunately I have to take out a loan to pay for him though.  I hate that I have to pay so much money to prove what we all already know, that the girls need to stay together and with their mother.  I am not an abusive person, I am an involved mother putting aside my own needs to make sure theirs are met.  MI is usually a promom state most of the time. 

marines

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