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anyone have what you've always wanted but dont feel right?

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:51 AM
  • 14 Replies
Hi. -I'm in my mid-30s and finally have what I've always wanted (sweet baby girl, hubby, house in a safe, lovley neighbourhood, and my version of a dream job, lots of friends, family close by), but I wake up feeling suffocated and I don't kbow why. I still do my favourite things like go for walks and see friends and play with dd, but I feel so bored with things. I'm confused bc I don't think I'm depressed. - still go about my days.. But there's like a tightness in my throat and I don't think I feel "the way I should". It it just an adjustment to a new life as a working mom? - not sure. Wld love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks :)
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by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lisakansas
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 7:05 AM

That was me, some years ago--not your exact same situation, but I did think I had everything I was supposed to ever want.  Turns out, it wasn't precisely what I truly wanted...some of it was, but some of it was just what I'd been told my whole life from birth onward that I was supposed to want.  I ditched most of what I didn't want after all, kept most of what I really did turn out to want, and am waaaaay happier now. :)  Sometimes I still get aggravating thinking of how many  years I spent pursuing the parts I didn't truly want, though--what a time waster!

Samantha431
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 8:13 AM
Thank you. That is such an interesting reply. Maybe I'll journal what I really want and what I'm supposed to really want and see if I feel better...
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KylesMom409
by Linnette on Apr. 23, 2011 at 8:19 AM
I went through this after Kyle was born and I didn't know what to do. Luckily I had friends and family to help me through it. It's frustrating to feel that way when you feel as if you have no reason to be sad and down in the dumps. HUGS!
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3kiddies4me
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 8:40 AM

hugs mama

lisakansas
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:24 AM

I actually wrote a post about it on my blog a month or two ago. :)  I don't usually advertise, and I don't know if it'll be helpful/applicable to you at all, but just in case:

http://lisakansas.com/2011/01/12/ive-lost-nothing-that-i-regret-losing-i-am-who-i-want-to-be/

Quoting Samantha431:

Thank you. That is such an interesting reply. Maybe I'll journal what I really want and what I'm supposed to really want and see if I feel better...


Moms2NTwins
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:17 PM

I have the husband, happy kids, the house...what I am lacking is the wonderful job :o/ I feel worthless when it comes to jobs because all I have ever had are minimum wage cafeteria and cashier jobs. I do know what you mean, I think we try to push ourselves further than we're able to go...maybe??

rivercharm
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:20 PM

I am pretty much feeling the same way. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that we are working mothers.. I am a firm beleiver in the fact that women should be stay at home moms and be able to manage the household on a FT basis to be trully happy. ALOT of women will argue that with me , but that is what I beleive. Unfortunately I cannot stay at home now :(

lisakansas
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:23 PM

I'd never argue with you (or any other individual) about what she says would make her happy, but it's really not true that being full-time SAHMs would make women in general truly happy.  I'm a woman, and I could be a full-time SAHM if I wanted to be--my fiance has said more than once that he'd be completely fine with that.  I simply don't want it; I'd be much unhappier if I did it.  And I'm definitely a woman, and I'm definitely not the only woman I've ever met who feels that way.  Some women would be, yes.  But very far from all women would be.

Quoting rivercharm:

I am pretty much feeling the same way. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that we are working mothers.. I am a firm beleiver in the fact that women should be stay at home moms and be able to manage the household on a FT basis to be trully happy. ALOT of women will argue that with me , but that is what I beleive. Unfortunately I cannot stay at home now :(


Lisa0626
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:21 PM

Maybe now that you have what you always wanted, you feel as if there is nothing to strive for and bored from that. Maybe create a new thing to strive for or even a hobby, or a new cause to fight for. That might help you. You said you started working again, that could play a role too. You might feel bad about working and not being home. Is there someone you can talk to? It might help to talk it out. Good luck.

MarshaLynn04
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 6:51 PM

I've been there mama

Quoting 3kiddies4me:

hugs mama


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