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funerals

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:04 PM
  • 9 Replies

 i just found out that my grandma may not make it through the week.  she is in her 90's & has congestive heart failure.  she's been in the hospital for the last few weeks & there is nothing they can do for her other than medicate her so she doesn't feel anything.

i'm in ga & she is in wv.  i know my husband won't be able to go, he can't get off at the last minute like that & i couldn't leave the kids here with him with noone to watch them when he's at work.  i'm torn on wether i should go or stay home.  i don't think children should be kept away from funerals & know all my cousins with younger ones will take them to the funeral but my children do not know their great grandma.  she met my oldest when she was a baby but not since & has never met my son.  would it be wrong of me, even though she is their great gradma, to take them to a funeral of someone they don't know?

 

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:04 PM
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Dannille33
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:13 PM
My 2 cents I saw take them. One she is your grandmother and you I feel should be there if you can make it. Two your kids didn get a chance to know her and you could tell them about her before and maybe see if they would like to go if they are old enough to understand. If not them just try to explain to them where your going and take them.

Death is part of life and she was your family.. Some children aren't phased by funerals .. My kids werent affected but past funerals they have attended at different ages.

And also go on how you feel and talk with your dh about it.

Prayers for you and your family though this time.
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lizzig
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:20 PM

 thank you for your prayers dannille.

my daughter is 7 1/2 & knows her greatgrandma through letters & will understand what's going on.  my little guy is only 3 1/2 & understands somewhat what death means but doesn't grasp it completely.

i remember i was about my daughter's age when my greatgrandma passed & i wasn't allowed to go to the funeral.  i was extrememely upset.  my mom & her mom thought i was too young.  i was very close to my greatgrandma & it hurt me for awhile that i didn't get to say goodbye to her.  my daughter doesn't have that closeness but may want to say her goodbyes.  didn't think to ask her but will when the time comes.

Dannille33
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:34 PM
You are quite welcome. My gram passed 4 yrs ago my kids went my youngest had just turned 4. Ge didn't really get it but he remembers now and he blows kisses to heaven.

My first funeral was my tramps I was 9 yrs old. I was glad I went and glad to say goodbye he suffered so.

Your in my thoughts to and I'm here for you... Losing someone is never easy of you or your children.

Hugs!!


Quoting lizzig:

 thank you for your prayers dannille.


my daughter is 7 1/2 & knows her greatgrandma through letters & will understand what's going on.  my little guy is only 3 1/2 & understands somewhat what death means but doesn't grasp it completely.


i remember i was about my daughter's age when my greatgrandma passed & i wasn't allowed to go to the funeral.  i was extrememely upset.  my mom & her mom thought i was too young.  i was very close to my greatgrandma & it hurt me for awhile that i didn't get to say goodbye to her.  my daughter doesn't have that closeness but may want to say her goodbyes.  didn't think to ask her but will when the time comes.


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ma2calebzoeyeli
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:56 PM

I don't think it would be wrong of you.  I would take mine whether they had met the grandmother or not.  That said, I know when my grandmother passed away some of the BIL/SIL stayed at my mom's house with little kids and then we all met up after the gravesite service.  I let my kids decide if they wanted to go or not.

our3
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 5:09 PM

My kids went to their great grandmas funeral and she never met them. I think you should go and pay your respect and take your kids with. She is still family no matter if they know her or not.

mom5160
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 5:42 PM

I agree!

Quoting our3:

My kids went to their great grandmas funeral and she never met them. I think you should go and pay your respect and take your kids with. She is still family no matter if they know her or not.


lizzig
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 8:03 AM

 thanks ladies!

kishs
by on Jun. 6, 2011 at 4:42 PM
I say take the kids so they can see their great gram for the last time.Don't miss the funeral that would be wrong.and also sorry to hear your grandmother is not doing good.
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LuvHugs429
by Gold Member on Jun. 6, 2011 at 4:54 PM

I don't believe in taking kids to Funerals. I don't believe its something they should witness so young even though Iknow its a part of life.

When my Father died I had friends watch my kids while we went to the viewing and Funeral I also knew I couldn't compose myself very well and didnt want to be that much of a mess in front of them.

With all that said If you want to take them then by all means take them.  I just feel its a place to console and be sad and its hard to feel remorse when you have kids running around and have to worry about taking care of.


    


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