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Seriously, who's got the time??????

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:15 PM
  • 8 Replies

I have 3 month old twin boys and they are the light of my life!  I love them so much that I feel like my heart will explode.  I am so thankful that I was blessed with such wonderful gifts! 

However, I know that with children there are sacrifices that have to be made.  I was prepared  for sacrifices such as not getting to come and go as I please or do what I want whenever I want on the spur of the moment.  But sometimes I am so busy that I won't be able to shower for 48 hours!  The only time I get to shower regularly is if I have to be at work.  I am a very clean person and I didn't expect to have to put my own hygiene and health on the back burner.  This is a little much...I mean, the boys are 3 months old now, shouldn't I have the hang of this by now?  The boys are fraternal twins so they are two different babies, two different sizes, they eat two different formulas, and wear two different sized diapers, and they wake up at different times throughout the night.  It's, literally, twice the work!  And I am saddled with most of the work.  And not just the work of taking care of two little ones.  I have the rest of the work around the house and my own full time job where I work 12 hour shifts.   

People tell me that I need to take time for myself.  Okay, that sounds great, but when?  When can I take time for myself?  And how?  How do I take time for myself?  The boys are with grandparents every other weekend, but those are the weekends that I have to work.  I mean, I only have time to work, eat, and sleep.  That's how it was before I had children.  I'm not looking to have a night out, although, it would be nice to maybe have a quiet dinner out or something, but I would like to at least get a hair cut and maybe a pedicure.  That was actually a gift from husband for our 8th anniversary....2 months ago.  I have yet to do anything. 

I can probably count the amount of errands I ran on one hand since I gave birth in May and some of those errands were for me, but I had to cut those out because by the time I ran the errands I needed to run, such as, buying formula, diapers, etc.  I would be too tired to go anywhere else.  That's from lack of sleep. 

Not only that, before I was pregnant and even during my pregnancy, I thought I was pretty.  Now I have acne all over my face, compliments of all the hormones.  My hair is starting to fall out, I have bags under my eyes, my belly is still stretched out, I am still retaining tons of fluid, and my wardrobe is limited.  It's hard enough not to have time for myself at all, but do I have to be ugly too? 

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:15 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Bethbeth
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:19 PM

I don't pretend to know what it's like to have twins, but I do know that it will get easier. 3 months is a tough age, when they are just so needy. My friend who has twins always looked totally frazzeled around that age, when I was able to see her. Now that her twins are a little older, she looks much happier and put together. 

Bethbeth
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:19 PM

Have you found a group here on CM for moms of twins/multiples?

pdragon
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:21 PM

Thanks for the reply.  I haven't looked for a group like that yet, but that is a good idea.  Thanks!

virgochild79
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:30 PM

Well, you may not get time to yourself until they go to school! I say, cherish these moments because once you get like me, you're going to wish they were still little babies. My youngest starts Kindergarten next Monday and I feel like my world is ending! LOL.

I'm sure it will get easier though. You never know what the future brings, you may get a new work schedule to where when your kids are at grandma's, you'll be off and get to just relax and have that time to yourself.

JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:52 PM

I would buy a sling that will hold both of them.  Can you hire a mother's helper for a few hours at least one day a week?  

Also, hubby needs to step up and take responsiblity for his children.  I would talk to him about trading nights taking care of your twins.  That way neither one of you gets completely exhausted.  3 months is a tough age :(

As far as showering will they sit in swings or bouncy seats or something?  Put them where you can see them and take your shower.  You have to do things for yourself too, no matter how difficult it may be.

*hugs*

Dannille33
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:53 PM

I very much agree.. it will get easier and in time..

Hugs...

Quoting virgochild79:

Well, you may not get time to yourself until they go to school! I say, cherish these moments because once you get like me, you're going to wish they were still little babies. My youngest starts Kindergarten next Monday and I feel like my world is ending! LOL.

I'm sure it will get easier though. You never know what the future brings, you may get a new work schedule to where when your kids are at grandma's, you'll be off and get to just relax and have that time to yourself.


sewdivineb
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:11 PM

Can you get your DH to keep them for a little bit the weekend you are off so you can have some you time to take advantage of the gift he gave you?  You can make sure everything is preped for him so that will help make him more confortable with keeping them.  I do that once a month my DH keep our son so I can have a day to go get my hair done are just me time with the girls. And the acne and hair gets better in about a month hang in there it will get better.  At first it is very hard with one I could not think of two.

e-doolittle
by Kelly on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:12 PM

Hugs Momma!  I don't have twins but age 3 months is a tough age.   Few more months and it gets better!

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