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What is a real father? A birth father?

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:24 PM
  • 5 Replies

It seems in the world today .. Myself and others that are divorced,

have or have never married but have left their SO. or ex dh .and met someone new.

This means usually that the man in their life is  their long term is their father..

Not  their birth father.. but just someone they know as a dad.. A father figure.

Now don't get me wrong, I think that if a birth father who is  in the picture and is there all the time that is great.

In my situation, I have re married, and my ex husband hasn't been in the picture for over 8 yrs. His choice because he doesn't call, or try to visit.

It's like he has lost interest for the kids.. now ages 16, and 12 almost 13.

So.. my Dh has been their "Dad" and what I consider a real father to them for the past 7 years.

So... what do you think?

Is a birth father a "real dad" or just someone that is there when it's convient for (the dad) him.

Or .. is it the Dad who has been there the whole time.. loves them for who they are and what they have grown to be?

Anyone else in this situation?

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:24 PM
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by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:29 PM

I call my birth father my "real" dad because that's what he is.  However, my stepdad (who my mom never married but they have been together 30 years) is my DAD.  He is the one who has been there for me since I was 5.  He taught me many life lessons.  When my "real" father would cause me and my sister emotional pain, my DAD was there for us.  He walked me down the aisle when I was a fair princess.  He is the one who gets the honor of my sister and I calling him DAD.  My "real" dad gets nothing.  My sister wrote him off 25 years ago.  I finally said enough 5 years ago.  He has had no communication from us in a VERY long time.

by Kendra on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:24 PM

I have a "birth father," and a "birth mother." I also have my Mom and my dad, who adopted me when I was 24 hours old. I found my bio-mom when I was 19, my bio-father or sperm donar is proving to be quite difficult to find, mostly because I somehow cannot retain the info that my bio-mom gives me about him. My parents are my parents, they are not my adopted parents, nor am I their adopted daughter. I am just their daughter. My daughter, her Dad is an amazing Dad even though we are divorced. He is active in her life and she sees him often. There is an amazing bond between the two of them, even though she does not live with him full time. He is her Dad, any male in my life will just be another positive male role model.

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:28 PM

A real father is the man that they see everyday. The man that loves them and takes care of them, the fact that he isn't the biological father does not matter at all. I am not in that situation, but it sounds like your all lucky to have each other.

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:31 PM

Yes... some times we are... ( I say that in a joking manner)

I was lucky to find someone who could be their father because their real dad just didn't care.

In some ways more then others my kids are so much better with the Dad they have .. then the dad they once had.. ( LONG STORY)

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:12 PM

I don't know about this situation but my husband has a step-brother and sister and his dad treated them like they were his own.  He raised them since they were infants.  I would consider him the dad.

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