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What would you do?

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:35 PM
  • 12 Replies

 So my car has broke beyond repair this means I get up @ 6:15 am get two of the three kids out the door on the bus get myself and 2yr old ready and make sure hubby gets up to get ready. By 8:30 we leave to drop off the 2yr old and take hubby to work. We arrive at his job by 9:30 I then head myself to work getting there by 10:am I've now spent at least an hour in the van driving / riding.

 So after work I drive about 30 to 45min home pick up the kids from the sitter then drive another 30min to get hubby from work and another 30min back home finally getting in the door between 6:30 and 7.

This is insane I'm ready to throw in the towel. I've been with my company almost 5yrs and have good pay but I can't keep this up and don't see how we'll get a car until tax returns? Yet If I leave the company I can cash out my 401K to get another car and go to work somewhere else. Hubby is terrified of this plan worried I won't find another job so easy in this economy let alone no where near what I make now but I can't keep this up! What would you do?

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by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SoniaL
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:41 PM

I would keep doing what you are doing. It isn't ideal but I think quitting your job is a bad idea. And don't forget you have to pay taxes/penalties on cashing out your 401k.  Sometimes we have to do difficult or just plain sucky stuff for a while.  But often we grow and learn from it.

punky3175
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:45 PM

Your husband has a point - in this economy it's probably best not to quit until you have something else lined up.  I know of two girls who quit with no jobs lined up beforehand - one has been unemployed for almost 2 yrs and the other for going on 6 months.  They are both well educated with experience but no luck in finding jobs.  I personally spend an 1 1/2 commuting every day (train in Northern VA) so feel your pain (I'll be driving same amount of time or longer depending on traffic next week and the week after.)

As aggravating as it is, I'd recommend trying to hold off as long as you can - start looking now and keep current job until you have another one lined up. 

TableforSeven
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:45 PM

In this economy it is crazy to quit a good job assuming you are just going to get another one quickly...and for nearly the same pay.  And to close out a 401K now when if you just wait a few months you can afford the downpayment and still have that money secure....that just makes no sense to me.  I'd say your husband's worries are very valid.

If I was in that situation - I'd suck it up and deal with what life has dealt until you can safely afford a new vehicle.  You can start looking around for a new job...but don't quit your good job until you KNOW you do (or definitely can) get a new one.  We had one car for a LONG time....I was a SAHM and if I needed the car for the day - I had to drive DH to work...he worked 1.5 hours away from home and had to be to the office by 8am.  Life happens -- you just have to roll with the punches and do what is best for your family.

e-doolittle
by Kelly on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:46 PM

I agree with prior post.  I wouldn't quit until I had another job.  The penalites are steep for cashing out a 401k

j45505
by Bronze Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:08 PM

 I hear you ladies loud and clear but this is tuff and sucks. Do you know what it's like driving almost 21/2 hours a day on top of working 6hrs then you get in to cook/clean at 6:30 / 7:00pm not to mention the gas we are putting out in the van and the wear and tear we are putting on it could cause it to go out in the mean time. I just don't know if the good out weighs the bad. I'm letting him lead on this and sticking with it as he request but in the mean time my house is a walking tornado I never have the time to clean it, I'm depressed daily just so unhappy and my kids are not eating until 8 at night then going to bed by 9 this is no way to live. Giving me no time to really see them let alone be a parent check homework etc. by the time we are in the door I cook feed them and they go to bed so we can get up to do it all over again it's insane!

Danita42
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 1:35 AM
I agree with them too, unless does your family have the funds for you to be a SAHM with the 2 year old. That would solve some of it right? Idk the other women have a point, if you really need it.
LuvHugs429
by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:56 AM

I hear you Hubby and I had ONE car for a VERY long time and at the time I only had my son but it was Very truly hard.  Is there anyway you or Your hubby and use Local Transit to get to work? I understand you work 30 min away from your house but if you are so worried about the gas and wear and tear on the car maybe it may be a Viable option?  I would say go ahead and look for a job, hopefully you can find something closer to home BUT in the mean time you have to do what you have to do to provide for your family.   You are spending time wiht yoru kids but in a different way. I'm sure when they get in the car you ask them how their day was, learn to play games in the car like the License plate game or I spy..... My kids love that.   Hope it gets better soon for you.

Quoting j45505:

 I hear you ladies loud and clear but this is tuff and sucks. Do you know what it's like driving almost 21/2 hours a day on top of working 6hrs then you get in to cook/clean at 6:30 / 7:00pm not to mention the gas we are putting out in the van and the wear and tear we are putting on it could cause it to go out in the mean time. I just don't know if the good out weighs the bad. I'm letting him lead on this and sticking with it as he request but in the mean time my house is a walking tornado I never have the time to clean it, I'm depressed daily just so unhappy and my kids are not eating until 8 at night then going to bed by 9 this is no way to live. Giving me no time to really see them let alone be a parent check homework etc. by the time we are in the door I cook feed them and they go to bed so we can get up to do it all over again it's insane!



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SoniaL
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:15 AM

I get it. It sucks. Know what else sucks? When my Dh was a kid and he and his twin baby sisters and his dad and step mom lived in their car and had only food given to them to eat.  Sometimes stuff happens that makes life tough. Sometimes that tough stuff includes our kids.  I knwo we want things to be ideal for them but that isn't reality and they can grow and mature through all of this right along with you and DH.  At least they have food to eat at 8 and beds to sleep in at 9.  And at least you have the 1 car to get everyone everywhere.  My DH drives almost an hour (or a full hour or more depending on traffic) to his job EVERY day.  this has nothing to do w/ car situations it is just wher ehis job is.  He has been looking for a new job but that is tough now.  So he drives it. And he works more than 6 hours in a day.  And yes i am home to take care fo the house, etc. But i am here with my 4 kdis plus 4 more that I babysit to help w/ the bills because his job doesn't pay enough.

The fact is you need to thank the Lord you and your DH have jobs and that you still have a car and that you have food and a house for your kids. You need to realize that the situation sucks but taking "easy" was out to make thing smore convenient will screw you over in the end.  Sometimes God gives us tough situations to helps us grow or teach us things. 

Quoting j45505:

 I hear you ladies loud and clear but this is tuff and sucks. Do you know what it's like driving almost 21/2 hours a day on top of working 6hrs then you get in to cook/clean at 6:30 / 7:00pm not to mention the gas we are putting out in the van and the wear and tear we are putting on it could cause it to go out in the mean time. I just don't know if the good out weighs the bad. I'm letting him lead on this and sticking with it as he request but in the mean time my house is a walking tornado I never have the time to clean it, I'm depressed daily just so unhappy and my kids are not eating until 8 at night then going to bed by 9 this is no way to live. Giving me no time to really see them let alone be a parent check homework etc. by the time we are in the door I cook feed them and they go to bed so we can get up to do it all over again it's insane!


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yourpassion
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:18 AM

i'd stick it out.  it's not ideal for sure, but you will get into a routine.  it won't seem as bad then.  also, forget the house work during the week if possible.  i mean, clean what you NEED to and leave the rest.  this is going to have to be a family effort for a few months until tax returns.  in the end you will be glad you did.  it's hard to think it now, but you will be happy you stayed at your job and didnt' cash in the 401k.

RobsWife212
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 8:44 AM

 I can understand where you are coming from, but I would not quit a good job. It is so hard to find a job right now. And even though the driving sucks, it could be worse! My hubby drives 1 1/2 hours to work and 1 1/2 home from work 6 days a week. He leaves the house at 4:15am and doesn't get home till 6:30pm. I would try to deal with it for a little longer. You don't want to get into a situation where you can't find a job and end up having to sell the car you just bought because you aren't getting a paycheck anymore. Good luck to you!

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