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When and how to stop cosleeping?

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:49 AM
  • 26 Replies

To be honest, I love having my son in the bed.  I love watching him fall asleep at night and waking up to his smiling face in the morning.  I have always felt that it is the safest place for my LO because we have been safe about it, and because I wake up with every move he makes...which brings me to my point:  I have not slept for more than two hours at a stretch in the last six months.  Longer, if you count pregnancy sleep problems.  I really need to sleep more, but it seems the older he gets, the more active a sleeper he is becoming.  My son has never known anything else, and although I have read books that say babies are able to self-soothe at 4-6 months, my baby has some trouble with the concept when it comes to sleeping on his own, especially when he wakes up in the night or even in the middle of nap time.  If you coslept from birth, when and how did you get your baby to sleep by himself, in a crib?  Is there a real no cry solution?  It seems like the "no cry" methods all involve some crying, despite their labels.  Help!

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
elzmnsf
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:15 AM
I honestly just waited till my baby wanted to be away, didn't sleep good with me. Then I moved her to a sidecarred crib, cause she needed space but for me to be in reach if needed. Then came a day when she couldn't see me and sleep and then we moved again!!! I agree that most I the no cry things do require a certain amt of crying... And with my youngest I just went with her cues. She's a sleeper though, so she was about a year when she moved out of my space completely... Had I followed that with my oldest she would have easily been 18 months or older. But I didn't do that with her and regretted it a lot... All kids are different ... If you want to child lead then you have to adapt it to each kid...
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JacksMom1221
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:38 AM

 I had a convex pillow that was made for babies to cosleep in the bed. I loved hearing him breathe and waking up and just puttin my hand on him to feel him breathe. By 2 months I moved him to the bedside bassinet because every move and sound woke me up. If he woke up and cried I patted his back til he fell back asleep. At 5 months I put him in his room with the monitor on. And by 8 months I turned the monitor off and just left his bedroom door open so I could hear him cry. Every toss and turn he made woke me up so I had to chuck the monitor.

HelloGeek
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this

I didn't cosleep with either of my two and don't plan to with my next one either. Personally I feel I need the sleep so I can function and actually enjoy my time with them when they are awake rather than being cranky because I'm tired.  I would often hold them till they fell asleep then move them to thier crib.  With 1st ds, it was no problem. After about 6 months, he just went to bed on his own.  2nd ds still has problems going to sleep alone (he's 6 now), he hates being alone.

TwinmomAlicia
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:39 AM
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Google Dr. Jay Gordon. He has an article about changing sleep patterns in the family bed. Also Dr. Sears my have some good info. Neither advocate letting a child cry.
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KylesMom409
by Linnette on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:53 AM
I had the opposite situation - Kyle HATED being in our room with us, even as a newborn. We'd wheel the bassinet into our room and he'd scream and cry. So I guess in the long run I'm kinda thankful he wanted to sleep by himself right from the beginning.
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vegepunkstr
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:59 AM

I started with my babies in bed with me but had a basinet next to our bed and would put them in there throughout the night. As they got a little bigger I put the crib next to the bed to get them used to sleeping in there and would try to keep them in it most of the night. I did that with my oldest until he was 10 months old and them moved him to his own room and did cio with him and when I had my 2nd I decided I didnt like that method. So with the 2nd I kept him in our room longer (because I breastfed him longer too) until he was 16 months. I had him sleeping in his crib all night in our room before I transfered him to his own room and it made the process alot easier. If he woke up in the middle of the night I would just pat his back and shush him until he fell back to sleep.



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SCHoemke
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:08 PM

Thanks!  I'll check out Dr. Gordon!  

I have found Dr. Sears before, and I like his approach, except that he pretty much says do whatever works for you.  That's great, but I don't know what works for us!  Also, I think he advocates cosleeping for a couple of years, which I would love to do, but I'm not sure I can be sleep deprived for that long.   :)

SCHoemke
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:15 PM

I was thinking that this would be the best approach.  He just wakes up so often at night!  Not to nurse, just wakes up and goes back to sleep if he sees or feels us...and cries bloody murder if he doesn't.  We even tried an in the bed cosleeper in the first few months and he hated it.  He wants to be snuggled up right next to my husband or me.

Quoting vegepunkstr:

I started with my babies in bed with me but had a basinet next to our bed and would put them in there throughout the night. As they got a little bigger I put the crib next to the bed to get them used to sleeping in there and would try to keep them in it most of the night. I did that with my oldest until he was 10 months old and them moved him to his own room and did cio with him and when I had my 2nd I decided I didnt like that method. So with the 2nd I kept him in our room longer (because I breastfed him longer too) until he was 16 months. I had him sleeping in his crib all night in our room before I transfered him to his own room and it made the process alot easier. If he woke up in the middle of the night I would just pat his back and shush him until he fell back to sleep.


Poosaloosa
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I loved co sleeping too.  I finally realized that my son wasn't comfortable in our bed. He was almost 2 at that time.  He was too hot and he didn't have enough room.  So we put his bed next to ours first.  And we never questioned when he crawled in bed with us, which was rarely.  He was just more comfortable.  Then later we moved him to his own room, and he has not had any problems.  Now and then he crawls in with us, like less than twice a month and that is fine.  Sometimes we take him back to his bed, if it's close to morning we let him stay in ours. 

This worked well for us.  Hope it helps some. 

mom2cindylouwho
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:21 AM
This is what we did, but at 7 months. It was a gradual process done over a few weeks. DD is 5 now & also occasionally joins us (close to morning as well). I love it!

Quoting Poosaloosa:

I loved co sleeping too.  I finally realized that my son wasn't comfortable in our bed. He was almost 2 at that time.  He was too hot and he didn't have enough room.  So we put his bed next to ours first.  And we never questioned when he crawled in bed with us, which was rarely.  He was just more comfortable.  Then later we moved him to his own room, and he has not had any problems.  Now and then he crawls in with us, like less than twice a month and that is fine.  Sometimes we take him back to his bed, if it's close to morning we let him stay in ours. 


This worked well for us.  Hope it helps some. 

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