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I'm wrong for not aplogizing?

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:59 PM
  • 11 Replies
A month ago my cousin came to visit. She stayed with us for a week. Back in October I found out I was getting some free six flags tickets and so we planned to go. They were only open on the weekends and she flew in one Saturday and out the next. We were planning on going Sunday. Hubby and I paid for half of her ticket and my brother and sil paid for the other half. I told my brother and sil about our Sunday plans in November and they said it was fine.
Long story short Saturday night sil messages my cousin saying the next day was going to be her only chance to see her. Cousin asked me and I said it was her choice what to do. Sil tells cousin she wants her to enjoy her trip so cousin decides to go to six flags.
Sil still won't talk to me. She says I never talked to her about it. She says it's all my fault. Not only did I talk to her but I talked to my brother 3 days before she flew in about it and he said it was fine.
Enter my dad who still insists I need to apologize for the "misunderstanding". I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize because she chose not to listen and expected my cousin to skip a trip to six flags to spend a couple of hours (sil was busy most of the day) with my sil she has met 3 times. Plus I gave my cousin the choice. My brother knows all of this and has told my sil but she doesn't care.
Sil says she is jealous because I spend more time with my mom and other family members than she does. Well of course! I'm a sahm and my mom and I have tons in common! Sil never makes time for anybody and if she is around you're walking on eggshells because she criticizes everything!
Personally, I don't care if my sil never talks to me again. My dad says he can't talk to her like he can me and tell her to apologize. So I'm supposed to talk to her instead? Shes the one with the attitude. Besides, she will just get mad at me again. She's still holding a grudge because I wouldn't drop everything, yank my kids out of the dentist office, and make an hour long drive in 30 minutes to watch her 11 and 14 year old sons last year!! And yeah, I'm not apologizing for that one either!!
Would you apologize?
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SMTCMMoore
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:05 PM
I would, mostly because "we are nice to others not because they are nice/good people, but because we are." she doesn't necessarily deserve the apology though. Good luck.
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SMTCMMoore
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:07 PM
You can say " I'm sorry we offended you, but I don't think my actions were wrong. Sortof like apologizing but not Kwim?
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JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:07 PM
My issue is if I give an inch she takes a mile. She tries to walk all over me constantly


Quoting SMTCMMoore:

I would, mostly because "we are nice to others not because they are nice/good people, but because we are." she doesn't necessarily deserve the apology though. Good luck.

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JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:12 PM
And when she asked me to go get her boys I told her I was sorry but there was no way for me to get there in time and her reply was "well you should be" and she hung up on me!
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Firewoman33
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:13 PM

Umm, no.

I feel like apologizing would say that her behavior was ok. It's not. The world does not revolve around her. She could have gone to six flags with the rest of you I'm sure if she had expressed an interest. Or she could have found the time somewhere to meet in the middle or come to your house on another day. If she was sincerely too busy to make any time at all in a weeks time then she needs to look at her own priorities. 

SMTCMMoore
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:18 PM
I'd probably try to avoid her too then. That's toughthough cause you don't want to feel like you're avoiding family... What a drag!


Quoting JasonsMom2007:

And when she asked me to go get her boys I told her I was sorry but there was no way for me to get there in time and her reply was "well you should be" and she hung up on me!

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JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:23 PM
Yeah we invited her and my brother to come to six flags. We told them they could use our coupons so it would have been $20 each for them. But she said she was busy and wouldn't let my brother come without her


Quoting Firewoman33:

Umm, no.

I feel like apologizing would say that her behavior was ok. It's not. The world does not revolve around her. She could have gone to six flags with the rest of you I'm sure if she had expressed an interest. Or she could have found the time somewhere to meet in the middle or come to your house on another day. If she was sincerely too busy to make any time at all in a weeks time then she needs to look at her own priorities. 


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Firewoman33
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:25 PM

Then you've done everything you could, IMO. She was included, she chose not to participate. She sounds like she has some other issue she needs to deal with. 

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Yeah we invited her and my brother to come to six flags. We told them they could use our coupons so it would have been $20 each for them. But she said she was busy and wouldn't let my brother come without her


Quoting Firewoman33:

Umm, no.

I feel like apologizing would say that her behavior was ok. It's not. The world does not revolve around her. She could have gone to six flags with the rest of you I'm sure if she had expressed an interest. Or she could have found the time somewhere to meet in the middle or come to your house on another day. If she was sincerely too busy to make any time at all in a weeks time then she needs to look at her own priorities. 



Happy_mom_24
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:09 AM

 Nope she needs to grow up, your expected to drop everything for her but she doesnt think she needs to extend the same courtesy? If your brother is fine then I say your fine but thats me

LostTheSlipper
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:43 AM

Nope.

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