Vacation for Christmas present

[shanmarkea]

Ok first of all I'm not bitching that I recieved a vacation for christmas but here's what bothers me about it. My MIL rented a house for the family for a week in NC in June. It was a total suprise to everyone but one of my SIL's boyfriend (b/c he helped find the place). My problem with it is that it's going to cost us alot of money to go on vacation for a week (actually we're not even going the whole week). We need to rent a van to get there and back (don't want to put the wear and mile on my car b/c we plan on trading it in). A van because it's a 12 hour drive with a 2 1/2 year old and 1 year old (we want the extra space for luggage and so we can take turnes sleeping). So that starts us at $500, plus food we'll say $200, gas $200-300. Not to mention any activities we will want to do while there maybe another $200-300. So we're looking at at least $1100. So now we have to use income tax return money instead of using it for what we planned on. I am also not the only spouse that feels this way (I have 5 SIL 2 are married one has a long term boyfriend) Do you feel she should have talked to us about this before renting a place or would you like to be suprised? I feel she gave us a gift that is going to cost us alot of money. And please no bashing or telling me i'm ungrateful because i'm so not.

I should also add we only have one income. One SIL makes 6 figures and her husband works. Another one ownes her own company and her husband works. One's in the army, one has two jobs, and the last is in college (so she doesn't have to pay for anything). Needless to say they can all afford it.

In response to some comments. 

First off I never said we couldn't afford to go but that we have to give up things we were going to get to go (our bills will still get paid). If we absolutly couldn't afford it we wouldn't go and the family would just have to deal. My question was would you be mad if you were not spoken to before making the reservations? We were planning a family vacation this year anyway but we would have went somewhere closer to where we live to cut travel expences and drive time. Or we would have waited 2 weeks to go because a friend is getting married 4 hours south of nags head and would have been able to do both in one trip. Now we are not going to be able to make it to his wedding. B/C we are not going to be able to afford 2 trips to NC just 2 weeks apart. So I'll ask again would you be mad that she didn't talk to anyone before making the reservations? 

[ashleywagoner]

Definitely a bummer... :-/ sorry girl. I like doing vacations with just my little family. But I know you are kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[Kris_PBG]

I can see why you are upset.

A gift that costs the participants money is something that should probably be discussed and agreed to ahead of time...

[yourpassion]

I would be less than thrilled. If its too much of an expense, can you not go???

[Dannille33]

Wow.. I see your point. It doesn't sound like much of a present. I'm sure she thought it was a good idea at the time.

[yatloml12]

That happens to us all the time.  My DH parents will plan an elaborate vacation that we are "required" to attend and then DH and I fight about how to come up with the money and "make it" while we are there.  So frustrating.  Once he rented a beach house in California for a week and wanted to go to Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, etc. etc.  Thankfully FIL paid for the entrance fees for all the kids, but just getting there was a headache.

[shanmarkea]

Not go?! Do you have in-laws? LOL It's pretty much required. We would be seen as ungrateful by the rest of the fam if we didn't go. Because "mom" used her hard earned money to pay for the house (even though she goes on like 3 vacations a year). It's nice to hear that other people have had to deal with the same thing. But we really really could have used a new bed instead of a week at the beach. Oh well I think while on vaca. I'll think of a way to ask her that next time she give us a heads up. We also had 2 weddings that are out of state planned and now can't go to those. One is in NC 2 weeks later. That really pissed me off.

[lisa601]

Have you checked prices flying? We have friends on vacation now in FL and tickets were about $75 more than it would cost to drive. Just a thought.

[MrsRobinson06]

She should have included transportation in the gift instead of assuming you could all go. What I would do is skip the van rental and use your own vehicle.

[2boysmommy867]

I am sorry you are going through this.  You are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[tnmommy5]

I don't what to say but that it would suck. My brother has tried to get us to all get together and rent a cabin somewhere but we told him that we couldn't do it. He was upset but he got over it. I mean I have 5 kids 3 of which were in diapers and he has 2 older children. We can't just pull the money out of thin air.