would you let your brother-in-law move in to your family's home?
my husband's brother is 31 and has never paid rent. he was only forced to leave my father-in-laws home when they lost their place in a short sale and moved about an hour away 3 weeks ago. my husband told his brother he could move in temporarily SIX MONTHS AGO when they discovered they would be losing the house. we thought they were getting kicked out right away, but things took a lot longer. brother-in-law did nothing to secure a new place to live for the last 6 months. he gambles at casinos all hours of the night. he drinks too much. he works 2 days a week. he's fiscally irresponsible. we love him--he's a very likeable guy, and an amazing uncle to our 2 small children, but our home is not a match for his lifestyle. of course, 4 days before they are kicked out of the old house, BIL calls my hubby and asks if he can move in. my husband said no, that me and the kids are his priority. we have been chasing debt down from a failed business for 2 years and are almost in the clear now. we can see the light and the end of the tunnel that has been long and hard on both of us, and we both agree that a manipulative (however likeable) in-law in our home could make things tense.
now, father-in-law (a recovering addict, no less, clean for 25 years) is siding with BIL and trying to make my husband out to be the bad guy in all this. my husband, the responsible, hard-working husband and father of two, won't enable his brother, the drunk, gambling addict. my husband is crushed that his dad can't understand our side. AAUUGGHH! i want to kill these ignorant people. has anyone dealt with a deadbeat in-law that wanted to mooch and manipulate? how did you handle it? will BIL ever understand that we are doing him a favor? YOU'RE 31. get a job and rent a room for fuck sake.
family is important, don't get me wrong. but me and my babies are my husband's family, now. he promised God to cherish us, protect, keep us safe, and uphold the sanctity of our marriage and home. this all seems so common sense to me. am i wrong?
i wouldn't allow him to live there. who cares what anyone else thinks, it won't be a good situation for your family. hang in there and stand your ground. i've had to do things like this. stick to your guns, do what's right for your family. good luck!
I know all about having family living with you. Right now my SIL her husband and 2 kids are living with us. With them it has been great though. They pay rent clean after themselves and know when to give us space. Before they lived here my mom and sister and niece lived with us and it caused so much stress in my marriage. My mom almost never paid rent. It was hell trying to get my sister to get a job or even watch her own kid. Neither of them cleaned and sat on the internet all day long. I think that nothing is going to change with your BIL if he hasnt taken the initiative to do anything in the past 6 months. You guys are better off holding your ground and not letting him come in and cause stress within your family. Maybe him having no where to go will finally motivate him to do something with his life.
Oh, hell no! I wouldn't let him move in at all. You will end up supporting his lazy ass for the next 20+ years. It is beyond time for him to grow up and support himself like an adult should.
That could almost be my BIL, and there is no way in hell I would ever let my bil move in to my home. I also have a SIL much like this. It is so frustrating because we work hard for everything but my BIL and SIL think everything should be provided for them and their problems are always the fault of someone else. We would love to cut ties with them both. Unfortunately, my BIL has 3 kids that we absolutely adore and we want to still be a part of their lives. I think you and your husband are right to not let him move into your home. If you FIL thinks that is horrible then let him take care of your BIL again.
BTW....No way would that emu fly in my house either!
Quoting opal10161973:
Now why wouldn't a likeable guy like that have found a sugarmomma by now? Geez! What happened to doing things the old fashioned way? LOL.
BTW....No way would that emu fly in my house either!
I would let my brother in law live wiht us, but he is nothing like your brother in law, and I do not think you are in the wrong. I would not want someone like that in my home, and I would not allow them in my home.
Your BIL? No way.
Hubby says no to pants on girls
- pottymouthmommy
on Mar. 1, 2012 at 4:20 PM