would you let your brother-in-law move in to your family's home?
my husband's brother is 31 and has never paid rent. he was only forced to leave my father-in-laws home when they lost their place in a short sale and moved about an hour away 3 weeks ago. my husband told his brother he could move in temporarily SIX MONTHS AGO when they discovered they would be losing the house. we thought they were getting kicked out right away, but things took a lot longer. brother-in-law did nothing to secure a new place to live for the last 6 months. he gambles at casinos all hours of the night. he drinks too much. he works 2 days a week. he's fiscally irresponsible. we love him--he's a very likeable guy, and an amazing uncle to our 2 small children, but our home is not a match for his lifestyle. of course, 4 days before they are kicked out of the old house, BIL calls my hubby and asks if he can move in. my husband said no, that me and the kids are his priority. we have been chasing debt down from a failed business for 2 years and are almost in the clear now. we can see the light and the end of the tunnel that has been long and hard on both of us, and we both agree that a manipulative (however likeable) in-law in our home could make things tense.
now, father-in-law (a recovering addict, no less, clean for 25 years) is siding with BIL and trying to make my husband out to be the bad guy in all this. my husband, the responsible, hard-working husband and father of two, won't enable his brother, the drunk, gambling addict. my husband is crushed that his dad can't understand our side. AAUUGGHH! i want to kill these ignorant people. has anyone dealt with a deadbeat in-law that wanted to mooch and manipulate? how did you handle it? will BIL ever understand that we are doing him a favor? YOU'RE 31. get a job and rent a room for fuck sake.
family is important, don't get me wrong. but me and my babies are my husband's family, now. he promised God to cherish us, protect, keep us safe, and uphold the sanctity of our marriage and home. this all seems so common sense to me. am i wrong?