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mom-in-law/husband probs

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 4:13 PM
  • 5 Replies

Dear Moms,

Have you ever felt like your marriage started chaging a little after the baby? My mother in law is a very jealous person. Part of the reason is because I come from a more wealthy family then my husbands and my in laws have always seen me as the "other". My husband and I still love each other but its the subtle changes that makes me a little sad. He loves his mother - as he should - but in the past few months, it seems as if he understands their jealousy and bad behaviour towards me whereas earlier he used to understand my perspective much more. Also, he has started showing strong dislike towards my family and that only happened after the baby. When we first got married, he was much more welcoming of my parents (when they came to visit us) but now he shows disapproval of a lot of their actions (which he did not used to before). There is a very thin line between right and wrong in this but I wanted to get your opinion on if anyone has experienced something similar? I am sure the story has been repeated a million times.

by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 4:13 PM
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Replies (1-5):
LilPatricksMomy
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this

We're a military family so no, because we live 2500 miles away from either of our families. However, you should probably sit down with your husband and have a chat with him about all of this. Maybe he's jealous that the baby gets spoiled by your family more than his? Maybe it weighs on his family and thereby on him that they can't do as much for the baby than his family can. That's the only reason I could see why the baby would be a factor.

That being said, bad behavior towards you should not be tolerated by him at all. You are the woman he chose to be with and have his child. YOU two ARE his family now and he needs to make that work without outside influences.

Even if the baby is not a factor as to why he has been changing his attitude toward your family, it would be good to hash out the real reasons. Maybe they've done something you're not aware of, perhaps he felt slighted somehow. These are the things you can only figure out by sitting down for a chat after the munchkin has gone to bed.

Good luck hun!

knotcr8v
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 8:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I think you should really get some help (therapy) the same thing happened to me and we're now divorced. He said after the baby was born he decided(without telling me) that my family and his didn't share the same values (they value money, keeping up with the joneses, etc) and he couldn't be the dad he wanted to be if we stayed together. In retrospect our communication was gone even before the baby and I turned into a mom while he just wanted to go about his life with a carefree attitude. See a counselor get the lines of communication going again and save your relationship. Good luck.
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bamababe1975
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 1:06 PM

 Have you considered marriage counseling? I think it could really help you both to get to the root of your problems and try to get back on the same page again.


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KylesMom409
by Linnette on Apr. 15, 2012 at 8:58 PM
I agree.

Quoting bamababe1975:

 Have you considered marriage counseling? I think it could really help you both to get to the root of your problems and try to get back on the same page again.



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Deeeeee
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 12:17 PM

Thank you for taking time to reply. were doing better now... life is an ongoing struggle on many fronts. a lot of politics to be played with many people.. I try to separate the love from the mess though.

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