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WTF

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:26 PM
  • 11 Replies

Ive been married for almost 10 years. My husband has a FB and so do I. I noticed that he told a pregnant chick that she was glowing..I asked who she was and he said a friends gf..so the next day I went on my FB and it wasnt there. So i went on his fb and it asked me for the password so I clicked I forgot and asked to send it to his email.When i go to his email all the facebook messages are showing on his email Sooo i read..on may 2nd he went to a restaurant/bar to eat and when he got home as I am sleeping went on FB and wrote to one of his female co worker friend." I wish I couldve stayed longer so that I could have a drink with you"..then he said "your dating Jeff right..She said yes..he tells he he is a cool guy..Now on another day he writes to her "are you working tomorrow" she said yes and he said 'YAAAAY I get to see you tomorrow"...So anyways when arguing about this he says to me that I am overreacting and she is just a cool coworker then said" you saw when i told her maybe 10 years ago"? Well no i did not see that so i ask him why did he feel the need to say that..Well he doesnt know why..He just said it.Why would someone say that out of the blue for no reason at all..BULLSHIT.I cant see the whole conversation because he shut his FB down at the beginning of the argument..I am soooo fucking pissed off that I honestly think he is lieing and Im ready to end this? What do you think is going on? Ofcourse he thinks I am overreacting..I think they were flirting and when it came down he got scared  so he told her maybe 10 years ago..He denies it.and again BULLSHIT..I think its fucked up either way..

'

on vacation

by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LovelyBugs
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:30 PM

I would be upset that he deleted it but then again I can see his point...men tend to just try and eliminate the problem without thinking about it...FB can be a tough thing for a married couple...DH and I have a FB together and that's it...his family and friends are on there as well as my family and friends...nothing for either of us to hide.

babydue1105
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:40 PM
It is fucked up!!! Sounds like flirting to me, may be innocent flirting but still I would be pissed.
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Allissa
by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 8:49 PM
Sorry that you're going through what you are. My husband's accused me for the past 9 years of cheating on him. Especially since I joined FB. So I let him check my FB, My Space, Twitter, Gmail, Yahoo, & here at Cafe Mom. I hope things get better for you!!
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htreveth
by on May. 8, 2012 at 6:03 AM
If your instinct is telling you something is not right then follow it. If my husband did the same thing I would be very concerned. I hope you get to the bottom of.it and you get some answers. (((Hugs)))
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sllytnkrbl
by on May. 8, 2012 at 7:56 AM
2 moms liked this
You need to stop thinking about it. Some guys flirt it is what they do, innocent flirting is nothing, you can turn it into something ugly by obsessing about it. I don't know your husband so I am going with the benefit of the doubt approach, he feels hurt because you invaded his privacy, you don't trust him, even innocent flirtation will get him into trouble now, the fact is if he uttered the words "maybe 10 years ago" he is saying I am with the person I want to be with and to even have a chance you would have hadto have prevented me from meeting her. If you continue to push you may just drive him to do what u accuse him of doing. Work on communicating before assuming the worst, it's easier to get to the truth calmly then to go in fighting.
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LuvHugs429
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2012 at 10:06 AM

 I agree with this. I flirt alot with guys (sometimes without realizing it) My Husband and I have been married for 12yrs and he lets me know calmly when it starts to bother him. Most of the time I don't mean anything by it.

Quoting sllytnkrbl:

You need to stop thinking about it. Some guys flirt it is what they do, innocent flirting is nothing, you can turn it into something ugly by obsessing about it. I don't know your husband so I am going with the benefit of the doubt approach, he feels hurt because you invaded his privacy, you don't trust him, even innocent flirtation will get him into trouble now, the fact is if he uttered the words "maybe 10 years ago" he is saying I am with the person I want to be with and to even have a chance you would have hadto have prevented me from meeting her. If you continue to push you may just drive him to do what u accuse him of doing. Work on communicating before assuming the worst, it's easier to get to the truth calmly then to go in fighting.

 


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celluarfungirl
by on May. 8, 2012 at 10:33 AM
Me and my hubby went through that so we gave each other are passwords and talked more with each other.
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smushy79
by on May. 8, 2012 at 10:41 AM

 Definately fucked up and not acceptable behavior from a married man. I really dont think flirting is OK when you are married.

ec_mom
by on May. 8, 2012 at 11:02 AM
He may not be physically cheating, but he is emotionally cheating. He may not be aware of it (or wasn't until you pointed it out). If you think your marriage is worth saving, try counseling & have a full disclosure policy between the two of you which includes email & fb.
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Pukalani79
by Kris on May. 8, 2012 at 11:07 AM

 This is possible, but it's also possible they really and truly are friends.  It happens. Especially with coworkers. When I was working I had friends who were men.  I looked forward to working with them because they were fun, it made the day go by quicker. It didn't mean I was cheating (even emotionally) on my husband. I was just looking forward to seeing my friends

Quoting ec_mom:

He may not be physically cheating, but he is emotionally cheating. He may not be aware of it (or wasn't until you pointed it out). If you think your marriage is worth saving, try counseling & have a full disclosure policy between the two of you which includes email & fb.

 

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