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UGH...Sister Vent!!!

Posted by on May. 10, 2012 at 9:53 PM
  • 9 Replies

 One of my sisters don't really punish her kids at all! He will be 3 years old & has an 18 month old sister. He don't listen to them & don't take anything they say seriously. He will hit them continuously & they'll tell him to stop but he just laughs & does it again & the cycle continues. The other night they were over at our house & he his his sister in the face with a block, she started crying so she picked her up & comforted her but just told him we don't do hit & that he needs to tell her sorry, he says "no" as he's pointing his finger at her. Her husband don't really punish either he just tells her that she needs to do something with her son because he's about to bust his butt, which she's against spanking. No one in our family likes her husband at all, we just deal with him! Do you have anyone in your family who's kids could get away with pretty much anything? It's almost to the point I don't even want to be around her son when she & her husband are around because of it. When they aren't around, he's fine.

by on May. 10, 2012 at 9:53 PM
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AntroNet
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:00 PM

Yes.  My sister does spank, but only when it is VERY VERY necessary.  But by then, it's swept under the rug and very very ineffective.  I don't watch her kids anymore cause she told me I was not to discipline her daughter at all right before dropping her off and said it in front of her.  She just took my authority as a caregiver away.  I told her after that night, she could find other people to watch her or she could watch herself cause MY own children don't get away with the mess she does.  Her child lies constantly, steals, talks very adult like and have other issues I can't say.  But yes, I can relate to this very much. 

KW1280
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:02 PM

This is a difficult situation.  I never dealt with this problem.  Have you had a heart to heart with your sister?  Many people don't like to hear that they are wrong so you may have to tread lightly. 

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AubreeLynn7
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:05 PM

 I get SO annoyed! I mean he's barely three years old & they listen to him! He's a very picky eater...& it's not that he doesn't like stuff because he used to love strawberries & other things, but all he wants to eat is peanut butter & jelly, pizza, chips, oyster crackers & grilled cheese...so they baby his & make him whatever he says he wants then when they make it he'll say he don't want that, then they'll make something else...it's like I just want to shake her & tell her, he eats what you all have for dinner or he don't eat! Even the Dr has told her that & she said she don't want him to starve & the dr's exact words were "he will eat when he is hungry, he will not let himself starve, just serve him the same thing till he eats". She was not raised to be such a pushover like this!

Quoting AntroNet:

Yes.  My sister does spank, but only when it is VERY VERY necessary.  But by then, it's swept under the rug and very very ineffective.  I don't watch her kids anymore cause she told me I was not to discipline her daughter at all right before dropping her off and said it in front of her.  She just took my authority as a caregiver away.  I told her after that night, she could find other people to watch her or she could watch herself cause MY own children don't get away with the mess she does.  Her child lies constantly, steals, talks very adult like and have other issues I can't say.  But yes, I can relate to this very much. 

 

AntroNet
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:10 PM

That's just the thing.  My sister was not raised like this either, but she is a very lazy parent.  So that has a lot to do with things.  Perhaps if she was raised with spankings and/or strict discipline, she took it upon herself to NEVER be like your parents.  I tried that route...and you know what....What didn't kill me, made me stronger.  And I can proudly say that I was raised a very well-rounded, educated woman who has disciplined boys!  They don't make em' like us no more!  

we rock

 

Quoting AubreeLynn7:

 I get SO annoyed! I mean he's barely three years old & they listen to him! He's a very picky eater...& it's not that he doesn't like stuff because he used to love strawberries & other things, but all he wants to eat is peanut butter & jelly, pizza, chips, oyster crackers & grilled cheese...so they baby his & make him whatever he says he wants then when they make it he'll say he don't want that, then they'll make something else...it's like I just want to shake her & tell her, he eats what you all have for dinner or he don't eat! Even the Dr has told her that & she said she don't want him to starve & the dr's exact words were "he will eat when he is hungry, he will not let himself starve, just serve him the same thing till he eats". She was not raised to be such a pushover like this!

Quoting AntroNet:

Yes.  My sister does spank, but only when it is VERY VERY necessary.  But by then, it's swept under the rug and very very ineffective.  I don't watch her kids anymore cause she told me I was not to discipline her daughter at all right before dropping her off and said it in front of her.  She just took my authority as a caregiver away.  I told her after that night, she could find other people to watch her or she could watch herself cause MY own children don't get away with the mess she does.  Her child lies constantly, steals, talks very adult like and have other issues I can't say.  But yes, I can relate to this very much. 

 

 

AubreeLynn7
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:15 PM

 It's not like our parents were really strict, we were very fortunate to be able to do lots of things. We were spanked when needed, but that wasn't often! My kids don't get spanked, but they know to obey me & my husband & others. They respect us.

Quoting AntroNet:

That's just the thing.  My sister was not raised like this either, but she is a very lazy parent.  So that has a lot to do with things.  Perhaps if she was raised with spankings and/or strict discipline, she took it upon herself to NEVER be like your parents.  I tried that route...and you know what....What didn't kill me, made me stronger.  And I can proudly say that I was raised a very well-rounded, educated woman who has disciplined boys!  They don't make em' like us no more!  

we rock

 

Quoting AubreeLynn7:

 I get SO annoyed! I mean he's barely three years old & they listen to him! He's a very picky eater...& it's not that he doesn't like stuff because he used to love strawberries & other things, but all he wants to eat is peanut butter & jelly, pizza, chips, oyster crackers & grilled cheese...so they baby his & make him whatever he says he wants then when they make it he'll say he don't want that, then they'll make something else...it's like I just want to shake her & tell her, he eats what you all have for dinner or he don't eat! Even the Dr has told her that & she said she don't want him to starve & the dr's exact words were "he will eat when he is hungry, he will not let himself starve, just serve him the same thing till he eats". She was not raised to be such a pushover like this!

Quoting AntroNet:

Yes.  My sister does spank, but only when it is VERY VERY necessary.  But by then, it's swept under the rug and very very ineffective.  I don't watch her kids anymore cause she told me I was not to discipline her daughter at all right before dropping her off and said it in front of her.  She just took my authority as a caregiver away.  I told her after that night, she could find other people to watch her or she could watch herself cause MY own children don't get away with the mess she does.  Her child lies constantly, steals, talks very adult like and have other issues I can't say.  But yes, I can relate to this very much. 

 

 

 

AntroNet
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:18 PM

I don't spank as much, but I do discipline.  We still ROCK.  When my Doctor told me that very same thing about the kids NOT starving and that they should eat what you put in front of them, then that just confirmed it for me.  I've had a few nights where I was really feeling bad about them going to bed without eating, but when they woke up, every bit of the breakfast I fixed for them was eaten without one complaint.  I do the 1-2-3 Magic method and it works wonders for us!   

AubreeLynn7
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:23 PM

 What is the 1-2-3 method? Please fill me in...I'm willing to give her any info possible to make her realize! The sad thing is...she knows she needs to be better about punishing him & getting him to eat better but she never takes action!

Quoting AntroNet:

I don't spank as much, but I do discipline.  We still ROCK.  When my Doctor told me that very same thing about the kids NOT starving and that they should eat what you put in front of them, then that just confirmed it for me.  I've had a few nights where I was really feeling bad about them going to bed without eating, but when they woke up, every bit of the breakfast I fixed for them was eaten without one complaint.  I do the 1-2-3 Magic method and it works wonders for us!   

 

AntroNet
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:26 PM

http://www.parentmagic.com/parentingsolutions-view.cfm  

I got my books and video from a library.  So tell your sis, or if you'd like to research it and teach her on  the downlow, to find it at your local library.  And no, I didn't think it would work for us, but I tried it for my strong-willed 4 year old...now I don't have to do too much to struggle with him.  But if you are persistent and keep up with enforcing the rules...you will win. 

AubreeLynn7
by on May. 12, 2012 at 1:32 PM

 Thank you! I will be checking into this!

Quoting AntroNet:

http://www.parentmagic.com/parentingsolutions-view.cfm  

I got my books and video from a library.  So tell your sis, or if you'd like to research it and teach her on  the downlow, to find it at your local library.  And no, I didn't think it would work for us, but I tried it for my strong-willed 4 year old...now I don't have to do too much to struggle with him.  But if you are persistent and keep up with enforcing the rules...you will win. 

 

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