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my mil drives me crazy!

Posted by on May. 11, 2012 at 11:48 AM
  • 16 Replies
I posted on my db page that we are having a really hard time getting D's to sleep and we need to do research on melatonin. Well, she replies "its probably just his aspergers like Sam" sam is her third child.
ok, my son was evaluated for autism and shows many of the symptoms but they believe there is something more going on with him and are referring him to ucsf. So you cant say he has aspergers.
Secondly sam does not have aspergers! He lived with us for 2 years when he was 10. I homeschooled him even. He has good eye contact, he has friends, he is interested in what others say, he doesn't ask a million and one questions, and he doesn't even have meltdowns! He just doesn't like being around people but that doesn't mean he has aspergers!
Shes always had an excuse for everything though. He cant read, he has dislexia! He cant do math or write, he has disgraphia and discalcula! So he never tried because his whole life he was told he cannot.
uggh she drives me crazy! And she had him evaluated once but they said he was normal so she said they were all crazy and just put every label in the world on him herself!
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by on May. 11, 2012 at 11:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommybug77
by Crystal on May. 11, 2012 at 12:27 PM
Wow
_brownie
by on May. 11, 2012 at 5:01 PM

So basically she needs to mind her own business?  My MIL likes to gather information, call everyone, and then add her two cents.  I talked to DH so if she's still doing it, its news to me. My FIL is worse, I can't stand him. 

JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on May. 11, 2012 at 5:04 PM

You know, she can be a very kind, loving, supporting person in her own way.  But this self diagnosing and saying that kids "can't" because of a special need drives me crazy!  Just stop self diagnosing and telling kids they can't!

Quoting _brownie:

So basically she needs to mind her own business?  My MIL likes to gather information, call everyone, and then add her two cents.  I talked to DH so if she's still doing it, its news to me. My FIL is worse, I can't stand him. 



Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont
_brownie
by on May. 11, 2012 at 5:16 PM

My MIL is a nurse but swears she knows everything (self diagnosing).  DS has special needs. But having a cold, allergies, etc. has nothing to do with a lot of her speculations.  Somethings are just what they appear and don't warrant the labeling or hospital visit she swears on.  IN HER OWN way she's loving, caring, etc but she also needs to know when and when not to intervene.  It got to the point where I not only don't answer the phone but I don't share certain information.  I can't tell you how annoying it is for a family member you generally don't speak with will call you with questions or updates.  DH told them to get the info from his mother...and now that is limited.  

She needs to be a little less technical and just be a grandmother.  Encouraging, loving, etc.  Leave the rest to any specialist, DH, and I. MIL never said DS can't...but she holds him back by not allowing or pushing him to do so.  smh Oh well.  Happy Mother's Day. 

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

You know, she can be a very kind, loving, supporting person in her own way.  But this self diagnosing and saying that kids "can't" because of a special need drives me crazy!  Just stop self diagnosing and telling kids they can't!

Quoting _brownie:

So basically she needs to mind her own business?  My MIL likes to gather information, call everyone, and then add her two cents.  I talked to DH so if she's still doing it, its news to me. My FIL is worse, I can't stand him. 



JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on May. 11, 2012 at 5:28 PM

Thanks, you too :)  

Quoting _brownie:

My MIL is a nurse but swears she knows everything (self diagnosing).  DS has special needs. But having a cold, allergies, etc. has nothing to do with a lot of her speculations.  Somethings are just what they appear and don't warrant the labeling or hospital visit she swears on.  IN HER OWN way she's loving, caring, etc but she also needs to know when and when not to intervene.  It got to the point where I not only don't answer the phone but I don't share certain information.  I can't tell you how annoying it is for a family member you generally don't speak with will call you with questions or updates.  DH told them to get the info from his mother...and now that is limited.  

She needs to be a little less technical and just be a grandmother.  Encouraging, loving, etc.  Leave the rest to any specialist, DH, and I. MIL never said DS can't...but she holds him back by not allowing or pushing him to do so.  smh Oh well.  Happy Mother's Day. 

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

You know, she can be a very kind, loving, supporting person in her own way.  But this self diagnosing and saying that kids "can't" because of a special need drives me crazy!  Just stop self diagnosing and telling kids they can't!

Quoting _brownie:

So basically she needs to mind her own business?  My MIL likes to gather information, call everyone, and then add her two cents.  I talked to DH so if she's still doing it, its news to me. My FIL is worse, I can't stand him. 





Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont
kamrynlily07
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2012 at 5:38 PM
I'm sorry your MIL is a pain. I can totally relate :-/

On the topic of melatonin ~ my dd is not autistic, etc but she is such a night owl and we tried everything to get her on a better schedule, but to no avail. Melatonin was a lifesaver! She only had to stay on it for a couple of months, just long enough to regulate her sleep/wake cycles, then we were able to take her off of it. Good luck, and tell MIL to mind her own business!!
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JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on May. 11, 2012 at 5:40 PM

Thanks I'm debating on doing it or not.  The manufactor told my sil that it shouldn't be given to kids under 25 because they don't know the long term effects

Quoting kamrynlily07:

I'm sorry your MIL is a pain. I can totally relate :-/

On the topic of melatonin ~ my dd is not autistic, etc but she is such a night owl and we tried everything to get her on a better schedule, but to no avail. Melatonin was a lifesaver! She only had to stay on it for a couple of months, just long enough to regulate her sleep/wake cycles, then we were able to take her off of it. Good luck, and tell MIL to mind her own business!!



Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont
kamrynlily07
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2012 at 6:40 PM
I know it is controversial, but do your research and decide what's best for your son. I didn't want to give it to my daughter long term, but luckily after we got her sleep schedule better we were able to stop it.

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Thanks I'm debating on doing it or not.  The manufactor told my sil that it shouldn't be given to kids under 25 because they don't know the long term effects


Quoting kamrynlily07:

I'm sorry your MIL is a pain. I can totally relate :-/



On the topic of melatonin ~ my dd is not autistic, etc but she is such a night owl and we tried everything to get her on a better schedule, but to no avail. Melatonin was a lifesaver! She only had to stay on it for a couple of months, just long enough to regulate her sleep/wake cycles, then we were able to take her off of it. Good luck, and tell MIL to mind her own business!!


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lexipooh78
by on May. 11, 2012 at 7:28 PM

My MIL does the same thing and it drives me crazy. When DH was about 8 he was diagnosed as being dyslexic. From that moment on she used it as an excuse for everything. Telling him he couldn't/didn't do well in school because of it. She never sought out extra help for him or helped him find ways of coping.  It was drilled into his head so much that even now, at 30 years old, his first reaction when he doesn't get something is to blame it on that.  I know that DH could have done so much better in school and would have had so many more opportunities if she wouldn;t have just blamed every thing on it.

JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on May. 11, 2012 at 8:12 PM

That is SO my MIL!!  And even when she didn't suspect anything it was "oh, this is pointless jibberish, you don't have to do this homework."  Then once she self diagnosed it was "oh, you can't do this anyways so why try?"

My hubby didn't even know he was supposed to do homework until high school!  HIs mom always told him it wasn't important and school wasn't important either.

Quoting lexipooh78:

My MIL does the same thing and it drives me crazy. When DH was about 8 he was diagnosed as being dyslexic. From that moment on she used it as an excuse for everything. Telling him he couldn't/didn't do well in school because of it. She never sought out extra help for him or helped him find ways of coping.  It was drilled into his head so much that even now, at 30 years old, his first reaction when he doesn't get something is to blame it on that.  I know that DH could have done so much better in school and would have had so many more opportunities if she wouldn;t have just blamed every thing on it.



Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont
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