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Does Anyone Still Teach Abstinance??

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I am just throwing the ball around here. I have a teenage dd and ds. I have been pretty consistent on my expectation that they not have sex in high school. Am I crazy or does anyone else still Teach this method. I talk to my friends and they all seem to have just accepted the idea that they have no control. I don't buy this. Am I delusional or is everyone else just wimping out?
by on May. 14, 2012 at 9:59 PM
Replies (41-50):
deccaf
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:08 PM

My parents were VERY clear that they wanted us to wait.  That had no bearing on what we actually did.  We were all very blessed to be able to be on our own (and in my case in my 30's) before having kids.

mrjonesii
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:10 PM

I had sex when I was 13 and several times after that.  I regret it!  I was too young to know what I was doing and to enjoy myself.  Those boys didn't love or care about me like I did them.  Now that I'm married to my one and only true love for 15 years I enjoy having sex with him.  I just wish he was my first.  This is only one of the reasons why I teach abstinence.

lovemy3littles
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:58 PM
2 moms liked this

I work in a family planning clinic, and to be completely honest, abstinence is not a realistic expectation.  FORBIDDING sex flat out does not work. 

I obviously plan to ENCOURAGE abstinence with my kids, but I will also make sure they are educated about safe sex, STD's, pregnancy, and birth control methods. 

It's important that teens know they have options.  If they want to have sex, they will find a way... regardless of what your expectations for them are.  And if they are EDUCATED about their options, they are more likely to protect themselves. 

The average age for first time sexual experimentation is 11-12 years old.  (this does not necessarily mean intercourse, but it does happen WAY more often than most parents realize)

Protect your kids by teaching them about protection.  I would say about 50-60% of the teenage girls we see have parents who have NO idea that they are sexually active.  You may THINK your kids aren't having sex, but that does not mean that they aren't.

jac77
by on May. 15, 2012 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this
My thoughts are this... Teens having sex sure seems like an indicator of their relationship with their parents. In my experience the kids that are sheltered go wild & the ones that have a open & honest relationship with their parents usually make more responsible decisions. I believe I am their Mother to raise independent, responsible, educated, God loving, kind children. I'm not going to suffocate them until their 18 & say, now live your life good luck making decisions on your own when I've been making their choices for them.
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Traci_Momof2
by on May. 15, 2012 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I will teach my kids to have respect for themselves and respect for their bf/gf.  I will also teach them that when to have sex is a very personal decision and it's one they need to make for themselves.  I can't make that decision for them and I can't tell them what to do.  Not with this topic.  I will also teach them all about how to protect themselves for when they do decide to have sex - whenever that happens to be.  If they ask my opinon, I will tell them I think it's best to wait until you are in a committed, long-term relationship.  Sex is not something to just jump into.

In my entire group of friends in HS, none of us were virgins on our graduation day.  "Waiting" seemed like a foreign concept at the time.  DH and most all his friends were virgins on their graduation day.  DH was still a virgin on our wedding night (obviously I wasn't but I had abstained for about 4 years by that time).  At least between DH and I we should have multiple pov's to give our kids to think about.

allensavannahs
by on May. 15, 2012 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I teach it but I'm a realist. I know what I was doing at 16... so while I preach abstinence I encourage open lines of communications.. I do express that I will be disappointed and give reasons why.  We have done the visual of what STDs look like, and I know more moms that have become moms in their teenage hood, and out of wedlock lots of people to explain how hard it is.  as well as my first hand experience.  We aren't any where near where I would like to be or thought Id be financially and my 17 year old knows it.. he has also helped a lot with younger two.  having my kids almost 10 years apart best birth control EVER

SlightlyPerfect
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Fair warning.
Yesterday at 9:30 PM
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2012 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Depends on how you teach it. Before marriage? OMG no. Before high-school graduation? Yes.

slightlyperfect

zoegirlsmom
by Member on May. 15, 2012 at 2:51 PM

We have made it clear to our kids how important abstinence through high school is, we are realists and have left channels of communication open. We have tried to instill the value of experiencing your high school years, getting your education and pursuing your dreams. Often times kids get caught up in grown up situations, far too early and miss too much.

WesternNYmom
by Alaina on May. 15, 2012 at 5:16 PM

Most schools up here teach what they call "Family planning" courses which are usually part of the school's Health class. In  order to participate in this unit, parents have to sign a consent form before their child can take the course.  It is completely optional, and anyone can opt out.  The students who are not participating in the course are sent to a study hall for the period the class is offered. Usually 8 weeks. Not participating in the course has no effect on the student's grade in the Health class.

aimers6
by on May. 16, 2012 at 9:01 AM
I was a teen mom. 16 when I had my 1St.So I don't think I have much room to teach it. My middle kid has a latex allergy so I guess we will with him.
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