I'm new to the group and I know this is long. So I'm sorry and I do hope that some of you will read this.
I've been married to my husband for 7 years. We have two beautiful children and we have a wonderful relationship. I love him very much. I want to grow old with him. My only issue with him is that he is not emotional at all and I on the other hand am VERY emotional. I love to talk into the wee hours of the morning and about feelings and life and all that girly stuff that most of us do. He does not, as I'm sure a lot of guys don't. But I feel like that is a very important part of him that I need from him and he is not giving to me. I'm not asking that he brings me flowers every day and that he tells me I'm beautiful every day. I just ask that he gets me, lol. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. Basically he is hard as a rock and doesn't express himself. Whereas I express myself and would like it if he did the same. His usual response to me is to just let it go. But I can't. I need to talk it out. But when we have an argument all he does is shut off. There have been times where he has laughed at me when I was crying and really upset. This makes me feel like he is not there for me when I really need him and in some ways this chips away at my trust for him. Which is sad because in my views, it doesn't matter how insignificant your issues are, they need to be important to your spouse. I take on all his worries and make him feel better about it. I never judge him for feeling a certain way. But I don't feel like he is giving that back to me. Bottom line is, I don't know what to do or how to feel. I feel like I'm at a point where I need to accept that he will never fulfill this need I have, which deeply saddens me because this is very important for me. I need it! I do. I know for a fact he will not go see a marriage counselor. So that is out of the question. So do I just accept it and live with it? What if I become so unhappy? I already feel unhappy at times. I don't want this to ruin our relationship. I can't make him be someone he is not. So the only option I have is to change me. Which I have already done in so very many ways. I've learned to let things go. So my question is why can't he change just a little bit. Like I said, I love him very much. I don't plan on divorcing him. So please don't suggest that. We have a wonderful family and I'm not willing to sacrifice this. He knows I feel like this, but my guess is he doesn't care or he doesn't know it's as scarring to me as it is. He is a wonderful man in every other aspect, but this is missing out of our relationship and I don't know how to be happy without it and I don't know how to make him see that. My feelings could have a lot to do with my age. I just turned 30 this year. I knew he was like this when I married him, but my need for this emotional connection is getting bigger as I'm getting older. I know I'm not the only person that feels like this. I could do with some good advice and other people's stories. Thanks!
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