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Feeling like I never should have met him **kinda long vent**

Posted by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:20 PM
  • 27 Replies
So I've been married for 5 years going on 6 next month. We have 2 awesome boys together. We have been through so much that I question my sanity. I have lived through his addiction, being practically homeless, no money...basically hitting rock bottom. But....I hung in there. He hasn't worked in about 5 years; and in those 5 years, I picked up the slack. From working at a fast food joint while heavily pregnant, to baking on the side, to working a corporate job....Ive done it all. We have lost apartments, cars, darn near everything....but I still held on. Well, I have a really good job and now that's in jeopardy because our only means of transportation is down. While hubby was lollygagging as usual, a belt broke and now other engine issues have happened. I was quoted $3000 and $1800.... which I just dont have. I can't save money because he spends it like water. In March HE spent $400 in gas alone.....not counting all of the other miscellaneous crap. I manage to keep us afloat, and comfortable but now I don't know what to do. My parents don't want to do much because we are both adults and need to handle our own business. Currently he is mad at me supposedly because of the car and we have to take a cab to the grocery store (which was a HUGE pain in the butt....and very reminiscent of years past). I am so burned out, hurt, scared, frustrated, angry, and sad. I need a husband who will just say to me "hey...I know we are going through this but, we will get through it". I need a hug, just some contact. By the way, we aren't intimate with each other unless I initiate it. It sucks. I feel unattractive because I don't have that light inside me anymore. My youngest son made me cry in the grocery store today because he said he wanted a new mom. I guess he sensed how much he hurt me and tried to retract it. I put my heart and soul into this family. I work when I don't feel good. I smile when I am broken. Even when hubby is mean and throwing a fit I still try to calm him down and smooth things out. I need something different. I hate my marriage and feel that I made an enormous mistake.
*sigh*
by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
chinosruca
by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:44 PM
2 moms liked this
Why do you stay with him?
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rancharobeans
by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:48 PM
1 mom liked this

:( that's no good... Do you have a bus line you could ride to work? Why doesn't he work? I would tell him he needs to get his shit together or be out

lildensmom
by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:57 PM

((hugs))  That is really sad. Your man should be there for you. Have you sat him down and told him everything you just typed? I am assuming so since you two have been threw so much. If he is not contributing emotionally or physically then why do you still want him to stay with you? It sounds like you are doing everything by yourself anyway, maybe he needs to go. At least separate for awhile and see what happens. IDK, just a suggestion. I know it is much easier said then done. He can still see the children, but it doesnt seem like things are going good.

Maybe you would be better and happier off without him. A happy mother is always a better mother. IMO.  Good luck Sweetie. I hope things get better for you.

momshappiness
by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:57 PM
Quoting chinosruca:

Why do you stay with him?



Because I didn't want to be a single mom again. The boys would be devastated if he wasn't around. Because it's supposed to be for better or for worse.... right..? Other than that...I don't know.
momshappiness
by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:03 PM
Quoting rancharobeans:

:( that's no good... Do you have a bus line you could ride to work? Why doesn't he work? I would tell him he needs to get his shit together or be out




Unfortunately we live on the outskirts where there aren't any busses. It was a sacrifice I made to have the kids in a good school district.
rancharobeans
by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:09 PM

cabs will add up quick. I'm really not a fan of debt but maybe you could try for a loan to fix the car? Good luck with everything, you sound like you deserve some good karma coming your way 

Quoting momshappiness:

Quoting rancharobeans:

:( that's no good... Do you have a bus line you could ride to work? Why doesn't he work? I would tell him he needs to get his shit together or be out




Unfortunately we live on the outskirts where there aren't any busses. It was a sacrifice I made to have the kids in a good school district.


CrazyLife1996
by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:10 PM
Do you love him?

As far as work goes. Do you know anyone you work with that can take you back and forth while you save up the money to fix the car?

Also ask guys around work if the have any friends that know how to fix the problem. A lot of times someone knows someone that does work on the side for a few hundred dollars.
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JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on May. 24, 2012 at 11:12 PM
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. You sound like a very strong woman but even the strong can only take so much. Praying for you.
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kagegirl
by on May. 25, 2012 at 10:23 AM

He sounds Bi polar. My DF behaves like that when he is going through a cycle.

sheri305
by on May. 25, 2012 at 10:58 AM


Quoting lildensmom:

((hugs))  That is really sad. Your man should be there for you. Have you sat him down and told him everything you just typed? I am assuming so since you two have been threw so much. If he is not contributing emotionally or physically then why do you still want him to stay with you? It sounds like you are doing everything by yourself anyway, maybe he needs to go. At least separate for awhile and see what happens. IDK, just a suggestion. I know it is much easier said then done. He can still see the children, but it doesnt seem like things are going good.

Maybe you would be better and happier off without him. A happy mother is always a better mother. IMO.  Good luck Sweetie. I hope things get better for you.


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