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30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

Having a rough time and needing to complain a little

Posted by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 8:51 PM
  • 22 Replies

    So I am a thirty year old returning to work force mother of three. I've never held a "real" job. Every job I've had has been more of a summer job type. The last time I had a "steady" job was from Nov. '05 to May '06, while I was in college. The reason for not having a job lat more than a few months is because at the time I was either in college or on break from college. Seeing how college was 200 miles from home it was not possible to keep any of these jobs longer than what I was around for. 
    After DS was born in Oct. '06 my DH worked while I stayed with him, then DD1 was born in Jan '08. From the time DS was three months until March '09 we lived with my MIL in Mass. It was WAY better to have me home with the kids while DH worked. We both do not have a license so our main mode of transport is walking.
   Then we moved to Maine (where I'm from), DH found a job right off  (started April '09) and I was preparing to finish my college degree (two courses needed to finish). I however didn't do what I needed in order to get back to school, a bit scared to do it. Then Oct '10 I found out I was pregnant with DD2. A month later DH lost his job. So since then we have both been jobless, DH has unemployment, and the whiole family recieves food stamps (we did recieve TANF but DH's unemployment put us above the limit by $11!)
   I have been on a substitute list for the local Head Starts since March. Since then I have recieved three calls for jobs. One was too far away and we had no money for a taxi at that time. The second I did not recieve the message until too late and someone else had taken it. And the third started off with me declining one day (as I had a meeting) and accepting one for a week later. Good to have a per diem job, but summer vacation is starting so I won't have that either.
   I need to find a job. The ones in this area are mostly for the medical field or fast food. I want to finish my degree, but I'm scared. Not even sure why, I just feel scared to be doing it. I know DH and I both need our licenses, but getting in driving time is a pain. We barely make ends meet, but we do it. Not sure what the next few months will bring.

  I know that this is all over the place and I'm sorry for that. Not even sure why I'm writing this. I just know I hate having no money, I hate living in "low income" housing, I hate not having a job, I hate relying on my mom or my little sister to drive me where ever I need to go. But I have no clue how to really turn everything around. Not even sure where to start. To have a job I need my license and perferrably my college degree. To finish my college degree I need my license to get back and forth to classes. To get my license I need someone "over the age of 20 who has had their license for 2 consecutive years", the only people I know like that have jobs of their own and cannot exactly drop what they are doing to take me or DH driving. It seems to be a vicious cycle. Sorry, mini rant. If anyone has some words of advice for me it will be greatly appreciated. And I know most of my reasons sound like excuses. But sometimes those excuses really are valid reason for being unable to do something....

by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 8:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:04 PM
2 moms liked this

You got this! I am so jealous you are only a couple of courses away from graduating! That's awesome! At least you have each other for day care for now,and do you have family that can help you with the driving hours? Don't get discouraged,you can turn this all around.Do you belong to a church,maybe someone from there can help you with the driving.

larabear1
by Bronze Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:12 PM
One thing at a time. You can only do so much at a time, then things become ovetwhelming and that is probably where the fear is coming from. Can your classes be completed online? Then you wouldn'thave to drive to class.
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rosemagic01
by Holli on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:17 PM
1 mom liked this

Time to grab life by the balls and get yourself out of the fear. Get your husbands license while you get your degree finished. Then get your license. Him having a license and job history is more important first off. Then get going. Once that ball starts rolling your going to be SO proud and everyone around you is going to be thrilled at you guys getting out of the hopelessness. 

MommyJDTJ
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Day at a time, on thing a time, and remember to breathe.
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cklamour
by Bronze Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Concentrate on the most important thing first. From there work on the next thing. Keep on doing that. It's ok to have fear of the unknown but never let that fear stop you from doing what you need to succeed. :::hugs:::
We all have our moments but we all have the will to overcome, you just have to find it :-)
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KylesMom409
by Linnette on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:42 PM
I agree. Hugs to you!

Quoting larabear1:

One thing at a time. You can only do so much at a time, then things become ovetwhelming and that is probably where the fear is coming from. Can your classes be completed online? Then you wouldn'thave to drive to class.
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MomOfAiden
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 10:01 PM

 Thank you all so much. The words of encouragement mean so much to me!
The courses I need are methods courses for an Early Childhood Development degree. They require a practicum (time in an elementary classroom) and classroom labs (with other college classmates)so they cannot be done on-line. The state university system has a small site in my town and I'll hopefully be able to finish what I need there. If not then I'll have to find a way to get to one of the larger sites (there are two and both are about an hour away in opposite directions).  We do not go to a church so no one besides either my mom or my sister to drive us and they both have crazy work schedules and share a vehicle. When my sister needs the van and my mom needs to go to work my mom will ride with my dad (who works everyday but Sundays). There is a driving school but their rates are too steep for what we can afford now.

Ok, more excuses and complaints I know.  Now I must get to bed. Thanks again ladies. I will be trying to take it one day at a time and figure out which thing needs to be done first. :)

jenmatt451
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 10:30 PM

Apply at one of the fast-food places that are close-by.  Maybe you could meet new people that would be interested in helping you and hubby get your licenses.  Fast food SUCKS...I did it for too many years, mostly management and lots of long hours, but the pay was decent and covered the bills....plus I met my husband there! :) 

Susan0202
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 10:22 AM

Putting your future and your kids future on hold because you can't to drive someplace seems very short-sighted to me.Can you move closer to a better job market?Is their no public transport(buses) where you live? I am on a  disability pension in Canada, not even 50 years old and I actually relate to your desperate sistuation but for different reasons. Its very hard to get back into the work force after even a  couple of years. Can you go for any kind of retraining?Working at the  jobs we don't see a future at for a short time while we study for a better job is often only real  option in life.Good luck to you- I hope everything works out for you and your family!

Juanita679
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Hugs


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