Having a rough time and needing to complain a little
So I am a thirty year old returning to work force mother of three. I've never held a "real" job. Every job I've had has been more of a summer job type. The last time I had a "steady" job was from Nov. '05 to May '06, while I was in college. The reason for not having a job lat more than a few months is because at the time I was either in college or on break from college. Seeing how college was 200 miles from home it was not possible to keep any of these jobs longer than what I was around for.
After DS was born in Oct. '06 my DH worked while I stayed with him, then DD1 was born in Jan '08. From the time DS was three months until March '09 we lived with my MIL in Mass. It was WAY better to have me home with the kids while DH worked. We both do not have a license so our main mode of transport is walking.
Then we moved to Maine (where I'm from), DH found a job right off (started April '09) and I was preparing to finish my college degree (two courses needed to finish). I however didn't do what I needed in order to get back to school, a bit scared to do it. Then Oct '10 I found out I was pregnant with DD2. A month later DH lost his job. So since then we have both been jobless, DH has unemployment, and the whiole family recieves food stamps (we did recieve TANF but DH's unemployment put us above the limit by $11!)
I have been on a substitute list for the local Head Starts since March. Since then I have recieved three calls for jobs. One was too far away and we had no money for a taxi at that time. The second I did not recieve the message until too late and someone else had taken it. And the third started off with me declining one day (as I had a meeting) and accepting one for a week later. Good to have a per diem job, but summer vacation is starting so I won't have that either.
I need to find a job. The ones in this area are mostly for the medical field or fast food. I want to finish my degree, but I'm scared. Not even sure why, I just feel scared to be doing it. I know DH and I both need our licenses, but getting in driving time is a pain. We barely make ends meet, but we do it. Not sure what the next few months will bring.
I know that this is all over the place and I'm sorry for that. Not even sure why I'm writing this. I just know I hate having no money, I hate living in "low income" housing, I hate not having a job, I hate relying on my mom or my little sister to drive me where ever I need to go. But I have no clue how to really turn everything around. Not even sure where to start. To have a job I need my license and perferrably my college degree. To finish my college degree I need my license to get back and forth to classes. To get my license I need someone "over the age of 20 who has had their license for 2 consecutive years", the only people I know like that have jobs of their own and cannot exactly drop what they are doing to take me or DH driving. It seems to be a vicious cycle. Sorry, mini rant. If anyone has some words of advice for me it will be greatly appreciated. And I know most of my reasons sound like excuses. But sometimes those excuses really are valid reason for being unable to do something....